Do you know where your kids are?

We sent Anis to ABC and Kak F's house today.
I packed her day clothes, jammies and undies. I packed the soft doggie toy that she sleeps with. I packed her toothbrush. She got to choose a book she wanted to bring (She chose Have You Seen My Cat?). She brought along her writing book and a pencil. I put 3 of her milk bottles and her tin of milk formula in a plastic bag, along with 5 packets of her favourite cookies.
I explained to her that she wont be sleeping with us tonight. She whined "awwwwhhhh!!". But when I told her she'd be sleeping over at her friend's house, she got all excited and said okay.
It's not like she's never slept over at other people's house before. She has had sleep overs at mokciknab's and at her nenek's with her cousins. But still...
Anyways, we said our goodbyes.. She kissed my hand, gave me a huge wet kiss on the lips and hugged me. I told her I was going to miss her. She told me she loves me and hugged me.
Then she ran to the toy bin and forgot all about me.

Did I tell you she can now make the 'K' sound properly??
I've been trying to teach her for the longest time.. and the other day, I tried teaching her again by touching the part of her tongue and mouth that made that sound. I told her "put that part of your tongue" (touch the back of tongue) "to this part of your mouth" (touch the roof of the back mouth) "and try to make that sound".
So she tried.
At first it was still "shh shh shh shat" , so I keep repeating the instruction and she kept trying.
Then it became "ch ch ch chat", so I encouraged her.
Then suddenly it was "k k k kat" and we cheered!!
She was so proud of herself!!
We practiced some more after that. Sometimes she won't get it, but everytime she does , she would go "Yay!! Anis Boleh!!" (Yay, I can do it!)
Now everytime she wants to say something with the 'K' sound, you'd hear her test it out first by going "k k k" and then saying the word.
Now I've only got to work on her Rs :D

gosh I miss her.

The boys are going to stay at home with us. My friend, S, (whose son is in Ilham's class and who was supposed to host my boys for the next five days) went back to Malaysia for the spring break and took an extra week off and I've been trying to call her all day but no one is answering. I think she has not come back yet.
So the plan now is, the boys are staying at home. Taufik will get them ready for school in the morning. They'll be going to school with the compound bus as normal, and come back as normal. Taufik will try to be home in time for their arrival home, else, Ilham will just let himself in (we're leaving the house key at a secret location) first. Taufik already wrote down what they're supposed to do once they get home (put socks in shoes, put away their lunchbox, change clothes, hang their uniforms, then do their homework). Taufik will come home, check on them then bring them to the hospital to see me.

I'm getting sleepy.
Today I made some chocolate cupcakes that'll last the boys a few days. (maybe 2 days)
I've washed all of the baby's stuff and picked his going-home outfit. All that's left is to pack my bag.
I'm supposed to stop eating at midnight. After midnight, I'm not even allowed to drink water.
bummer.
Maybe I shouldnt have eaten tenggiri jeruk goreng (salted fish) for dinner..

I'll try to blog tomorrow before I leave for the hospital, but I doubt I have the time..
Well, if I don't, See You on the Other Side.. ;)

Ligation, Laksam and Later, Lanky

Ligation
Went to see the Ob&Gyn today for the pre-op stuff. They took my blood and urine and she checked the baby's heartbeat. Still going strong, alhamdulillah.
Then we went through my operation requests.. c-section, the non-dissolving sutures .. and I pointed out that we have decided to go ahead with the ligation.
She gave me a horrored gasp and said "no we cannot, because it is haram".
wtf.
"anyway you only have 3 kids now, 2 boys and one girl, maybe you might want another girl" she insisted.
"I thought we're only allowed four c-sections" I asked.
"you're able to have up to 6" she explained.
"I do not want another one" Taufik said.
"Well, we're not going to do a ligation, you can opt for other types of contraceptives" and the Doctor made it final.
I was kinda p1ssed actually.
I mean, I'm not p1ssed because I can't have the ligation. It was because she didnt say anything about it being haram or that she didnt want to do it when I first brought it up. She just told me to reconsider. And after thinking about for months and considering the consequences and after I have made my decision, she is saying NO.
Does she even have the right to??
Dammit. She could have said so in the first place, then I wouldnt have to even bother thinking about it to make a decision.
*sigh*
and I was so looking forward to unbridled s3x...
tee hee.
I am resigned to the decision though.. maybe there's a reason behind it.
Wallahu-a'lam. Only God Knows.
Adalah hikmah dia tu kat mana-mana.. kan?

Laksam
I went to my friend's house today. I had asked around for a second hand (because we are cheap that way) travel system (car seat that can be mounted to a stroller) and she was willing to part with hers coz her youngest is almost 2 and is too big for the car seat anyways.
So we went to her house to pay for it and pick it up.
She made me Laksam!!! Because she remembered how I was craving for it a few months ago and wanted to make sure I had some before I gave birth. That was so nice of her. And it was good too!! She only had long beans and cucumber for ulam (raw vegetables to be eaten with the steamed flat rice noodles and fish and coconut cream gravy) but I'm just thankful that it had some semblance of the real thing. I had 2 bowls of it and skipped dinner. :)
I still needed to cook dinner for the rest of the house though.. :P

Later, Lanky
I hated that they did a medley of Queen songs.. it was too much like Broadway.
(I'm talking about AI , by the way).
Okay.. I cried when Ryan said Elliot was in the bottom 3. I cried when he sang Somebody to Love again. I screamed NO with the crowd in the TV when ryan asked if Elliot deserved to go home. Clean up your ears and listen carefully americ@!! Elliot can sing!!
I skipped the whole Face part. I didnt want to have to go thru the agony of watching him try to perform We Will Rock You again.
I am sad that Lanky Bucky had to go, but I am also happy that it wasn't Elliot. I think aside from Taylor, Bucky showed that he has the most fun when he's on stage. He always has that smile, he's always dancing or something. I think he had the best time on the show.
I don't understand why The Face is still there. I think it's because he has all of Colorado and Bucky had to share North Carolina with Chris.
I hope he goes out next week, coz he really sucked this week.

AI 2006: Final 8

I was watching The Weakest Link the other day when I heard Ann ask the question what is another name for the devil that starts with B and the contestant asnwered "Be-elzebub", which got me singing Bohemian Rhapsody. And I wondered if AI would ever do a tribute to Queen one of these days.
Lo and behold, this week's theme was Queen!

I was sorta dreading and anticipating this week's performence actually. Dreading, coz I know that a few of them would choose the staple anthemic songs like "We Will Rock You" and "We are The Champions" and "Bohemian Rhapsody" and I could've sorta predict which ones they were.
Anticipating, because I was wishing some of them would have enough taste and love for Queen to be able to pick and sing Queen's more obscure songs, like "Best Friend" or maybe even "Bicycle Race" (Oh man, what I would give to see someone attempt that one!)

Well, no suprise that Ace chose "We will rock you" and Kellie sang "Bohemian Rhapsody". I was pretty thankful that Taylor didnt go ahead to sing "We are the champions" and chose "Crazy Little thing called love" instead.
And I love Elliot for chosing "Somebody To Love" :)

Bucky (Fat Bottom Girls) - it was a good song choice for him, and I liked that he injected a little bit of country to that song. I thought he did a blooming good job and that he rawked!

Ace (We will rock you) - it was a safe performence and not very vocally challenging, i thought he did a backstreet boys version of the song and he did NOT rawk me at all. I hope this makes him go home.

Kelly (Bohemian Rhapsody) - I have always been dubious of people who could slaughter and dismember this epic of a song into a one and a half minute clip (constantine and that girl in Rock Star included). I thought it was pretty weird coz this is the first time I heard this song in a Southern accent, but I think Kelly did a better job than Ace.

Chris (Innuendo) - gawd.. please stop screaming. I really like it better when he's really singing, coz when he screams his voice has this very annoying vibrato that just spoils everything. Otherwise I think he did a really good job in capturing the spirit of the song.

Kat "Who wants to live forever" - was a really really really good choice for Kat. I actually had goosebumps when she sang it. And she's so good at articulating the lyrics, I had visions of Christopher Lambert on the hills of Scotland and his wife just died and it made me all misty eyed. "There can be only ONE!"

Elliot (Somebody to Love) - I lurrrve this song!! And I think Elliot did a really good job! yay!! He really knows how to pick em, eh?

Taylor (Crazy Little thing called love) - He really borught it on tonight. Taylor is back!! He did a waaaay better job than David Ratford, definitely. I thoroughly enjoyed his performence.

Paris (Show must go on) - what a horrible outfit! and her performence was forgettable, for me. Sometimes I think she can be a bit too much..

Who I wish will go home: The FACE!
Who I think the voters will send home : hm.. either The Face (can't help it, I'm the king of wishful thinking..), or Bucky.

I really really hope last week's mistake won't happen again, and they dont send Elliot home.

Accentuation Transformation

*Looks at the blog alert for Keith.. can't believe that he's writing about Americ@n Id0l.. will read that AFTER i've watched the show*

After answering the A to Z Meme, I started to think about my accent.
I had wanted to elaborate my answer to that question, but I noticed that most people answered briefly and I always had this tendency to ramble on, so I decided not to..
Anyways, I wanna tell you about my accent, which could also be put under 'Unsual Talents'.

I have this weird tendency to mimick the way another person is talking to me.
Sometimes I can't help it and I am always afraid if the other person would think that I'm making fun of them and get offended by it.
In my mother tongue (read: Bahasa Malaysia), often times I have found that when I am with people who speak mostly the Kelantanese dialect, my accent/dialect would automatically change to Kelantanese. If I'm with a person who speaks Kedah-an, I'll defenitely say 'ayag' and not 'ayer'. When I'm with people from Trengganu.. well, you get the picture.
I don't know why I do that. Perhaps because subconciously my mind wants to make the other person more comfortable in communicating with me, or perhaps I think that they'll understand me better when I 'speak their language'.
The same goes for English. I noticed that when I'm talking to Ilham's teacher, i start sounding like Emma Thompson.. even her intonations..
When I go to the grocery store and talk to the Pakistani guy behind the counter I found myself rolling my Rs and also my head a bit..

So when I went to the U.S. to study, of course I picked up the accent and started saying 'gress' instead of 'gruss' when I'm referring to them green things growing out of the ground. I didnt pick it up straight away of course, it took me about a year. I thought I spoke pretty decent english when I first got there, but there was one time my roomates were playing pranks on one of their male friends who was living in the boy's dorm across ours and Kathy asked me to shout something at him so that he didnt know it was them but Amelia said "No, he'll recognize her accent!". I was like, "huh? I have an accent?".. I never knew I had an accent.

When I came home, some people had trouble understanding my English coz they said it didnt sound so right.
I remember running into a lady who worked in my office at the lobby of our building and I asked her "Are you waiting for someone?" or rather "Arr yew waiding for sum'one?" and she went "Huh?" and I had to change to "Weiting fo sambodi ah??" (Waiting for somebody uh?) before she comprehended and said "Ahh.. yalor!!" (which basically means Yes in Malaysian English).

I found out that after 10 years working for that company, my English had deteriorated and I was speaking just like that woman...

The ABCs of Elisa

Seeing this everywhere nowadays.. so I thought i'd give it a shot..

---

accent: I dont think I have one, but Malaysians tell me I have an American accent, whilst Americans tell me I have a Malaysian accent.. go figure.

booze: never touched a drop in my life.. I like to stay in control.

chore I hate: sweeping up and dusting, coz I'm allergic to dust. Also ironically, i'm allergic to dust.

dog or cat: When I was about 8, I used to have a cat named 'Kelabu' which means Grey because he was. He ran away from home and we never saw him again. Can't have any cats anymore coz Ihsan is slightly asthmatic.

essential electronics: The idjit box, if nothing else. A PC would be a plus.

favourite perfume/cologne: Lauren by Ralph Lauren, but now they've discontinued it, I'm using Glamorous. (rasa macam very the glamour gitew....)

gold or silver: my ear piercings are allergic to everything else but sterling silver, but anywhere else I wear gold (If i have them.. I don't have that much jewellery)

home: is wherever my husband and kids are. It can be a hotel room in Cherating for 3 days, it would still feel like home.

insomnia: hm.. I don't think I've ever had insomnia.. We Bustamans have a thing about sleep. We can never get enough.

job title: domestic goddess, sculptor of the minds of the future caretakers of the earth.

kids: Ilham, soon to be 8 year old boy. Ihsan, 7 year old boy in October. Anis, girl who just turned 4 in March. Izani, soon to be born son (check out my ticker!).

living arrangement: renting a 3-bedroom house in Canary Village, Al-Kh0bar, S@udi Ar@bia.

most admired trait: hm... I hope it's my attitude towards life, but I don't know.. this is really a question you've gotta ask someone else to answer for me.

number of sexual partners: only one, ever. Taufik, my husband.

overnight hospital stays: 4. 3 for delivery of my kids, and an extra one for when Anis had to be admitted for UV treatment for jaundice. There's another coming soon this Saturday.

phobia: my kids turning out bad

quote: "we were but stones, your light made us stars", taken from Lightyears by Pearl Jam. It reminds me that knowledge is a powerful thing, and to always pursue it. It reminds me that whatever I do can affect the lives of other people so I need to be generous but also careful.

religion: I'm a muslim and damn proud of it.

siblings: one elder sister, three younger sisters and one younger brother. All, but one, blogs.

time I usually wake up: depends on what time Subuh is, then I go back to sleep and wake up at 6:30am.

unusual talent: *thinks* I can stick my upper lips to my nostrils.. and it irritates the hell outta Taufik.

vegetable I refuse to eat: raw onions.

worst habit: picking on my skin.

x-rays: chest and teeth.

yummy foods I make: have you read my blog lately?? check out the 'culinary jam' category. If it's not under there, it means I'm not so good at making it.

zodiac sign: Virgos Rawks!

Take me home, Rocky Road..

I assure you, this will be the easiest peasiest damn chocolate candy you'll ever make.

Easiest pesiest : coz it's so easy. No electrical gadgets required. Only a measuring cup, a large pot and a stove top. Does not even require any baking!!
Damn: coz it's so yummmmmmeeeehhhh!!!!! You won't be able to eat just one.

I made this for the Bake Sale on this Wednesday's Spring Fair at the boys' school. I had been browsing the three-double-yews for no bake co0kie recipes for quite a while but found that most of them required using oats, which I don't particularly like. I've come across the recipe for these rocky road 'cookies' several times, but I had dismissed it coz they're not really 'cookies' ... more like candy.

Lazy and desperate, I decided to try it out and boy was I not dissapointed!
Feast your hungry eyes on this sinful square:

I wil not be responsible for failed diets due to viewing this post.

Rocky Road

Ingredients:
12oz semi-sweet chocolate chips (That's one pack of the Hershey's chocolate chips)
14oz sweetened condensed milk (I bought two small cans and had to use a measuring cup)
2 tablespoons butter (unsalted)
2 cups dry roasted peanuts (unsalted! the non-oily kind, okay...)
10.5 oz mini marshmallows (I bought a bag and used a measuring cup)

Method:
In a huge bowl, combine nuts and marshmallows to ensure they're evenly distributed.
Heat up condensed milk and butter in a pot, and then melt chocolate chips into it, stirring well. Once all chips are melted, take off the heat. Fold in nuts and marshmallow till well mixed.
Line a 9in by 13in pan with wax paper. Pour mixture into pan, spreading as evenly as you can. Chill minimum 2 hours until firm.(Meanwhile, you can lick the spoon.. tee hee!)
Remove from pan and peel off wax paper, cut into squares (I transferred mine into paper cups to make them look pretty ;) ) and store in an airtight container @ room temperature.

Note:
If you have the patience and time, you can spoon them straight into paper cups before chilling them.
If you're dubious about your marshmallows, you can substitute with rice crispies for a crunchy, intead of chewy, treat.

This made about 48 of 1inch squares, 24 of which were 'edges', that I kept for self consumption.. tee hee! I am sure you'll get roughly 40-50 of them if you spoon them straight into paper cups (or if you trimmed off the edges not too widely).
The result was a creamy, not too sweet, crunchy but also chewy chocolate candy. If I were to make them again, I think I'll try to add a bit of cocoa powder to make the chocolate darker (I prefer it slightly bitter). And I think next time I'll also experiment with rice crispies or some other cereal (them chocolate balls, perhaps?).

Happy Drooling Trying!!

Gone!! It's all gone!!

know this is like, so superficial, but I can't help it!!

Yesterday I was busy cooking dinner and the kids were upstairs with their Ayah and I heard the sounds of Call of Duty 2 so I didnt suspect anything.
So when dinner was ready I called them to come down and we were at the dinner table and Anis sat beside me and gave me a grin and said "Ayah potong rambut"
I thought she meant that Taufik had a haircut yesterday, so I just uh-hmed and asked her to eat her rice.
"Ayah potong rambut Anis" she said.
*pause*
I was like, WHAAAATTTT???? and took a look at her hair.
It's SHOOOOORRTTTTT!!! and all the curly2 bits are now gone!!!
I was like moaning and awwwing and whyyyy????ing and Taufik-how-could-you-ing all through dinner.
And it wasnt even even. There were bits that were too short.
"It was getting messy" Taufik reasoned.
"But we could've just tied it up" I whined
"They were getting all tangled up"
"I was willing to brush it out..." I sadly ran my fingers through Anis' hair.
"Its not even!!" I complained.
"You won't even notice.. coz her hair is all curly like that"
"Well, you've cut out all the curly bits.. it *is* noticeable now" I scolded him.

Poor Taufik.. he was only trying to help..
but then..
arrrrggghhh my little girl's hair!!!! I loved her hair!! I loved playing with it. I loved watching the curly bits sway when she's running around with her brothers. I loved how sometimes there's a halo around her face from all the stray hair.
I loved how her pale face peeks out underneath all the tangled up tresses while she's sleeping.
I loved tying it up that way and this way just to see how it'll turn out.
I can still experiment with the hair at this length, but then..
aarrggghhh I loved her hair long...
now I don't know whether she'll ever have those curly bits anymore..

But then again, maybe this is for the better. She's going to school soon, and I'm going to have a baby to take care of, so I might not have time to brush and tie her hair as often as I do now. Maybe she's better off with short hair.

BEFORE:

AFTER:


I am still sad though!!! aaarrggghhhhhhhhh

can you spell h.e.c.t.i.c? I can spell f.u.l.f.i.l.l.i.n.g :)

Yesterday was a pretty hectic day.
Woke up, brushed my teeth, then made breakfast of sausages, toast, scrambled egges and baked beans.
The dining table was humming with conversation and occassional spurts of 'yummy yummy' coming from the kids.
After breakfast we who could reach over the sink washed the dishes and as with most Thursdays, it was then time to clean the house.
I cleaned the kitchen counters and scrubbed the sink and stove top.
Ihsan helped clean the kitchen table which was slightly crusted with cornflakes.. :P. He also helped dust some of the furniture in the living room.
Anis arranged shoes.
Ilham .. hm.. he helped me wash the dishes and then he went to write a story about dinosaurs.
Taufik vacuumed everything and then mopped everything.

My stove top had this spots of batter (from frequent frying of banana and sweet potato fritters) which I had put off from scrubbing for .. err.. months. Wiping them off didnt work. I had to spray it with my cleaning solution (homemade - water + laundry detergent + bleach, coz I am too much of a cheapo to pay 12.90 for the kinds sold in stores) leave it on for a bit and the scrub it off using a plastic brush. After about half an hour with unsatisfactory results, (Who knew batter sticks so hard to the surface if you've left it there for months?)(Well, apparently, I was the only one who didnt know).. I resorted to scraping it off with my nails.. hee hee.. whatever works, eh?

After downstairs was all cleaned up, we went upstairs. We got a little distracted by 'Most Wanted', a movie that was showing on TV. There was a scene where Keenan Ivory Wayans was at this lady's kitchen and he said "What's that smell?, it smells like Ammonium Sulfide (or some chemical)" and he looks over at the microwave which was counting down from 25 seconds and he says "RUN!!" and runs out of the house, which eventually exploded.
Taufik and I looked at each other and said "Why didnt he just press Stop?" "Ntah laaaaaa...."
I then went to clean my bathroom. Anis helped me out. I gave her a sponge/scrubber, took off all her clothes and let her scrub the bath tub. Good thing that she helped, too, coz when I was squatting and trying to scrub off the spots that she didnt get, it felt like I was having a contraction.
The boys did the kids' bathroom and Taufik helped mop and clean-up the bits that the kids didnt get.
Then everyone finally showered and we went out for lunch.

We miscalculated our timing and arrived just as the Thai restaurant that we wanted to eat at was closing. damn.
We headed for Mughal which I dreaded going to coz I didnt feel like eating Pakistani/Arab food and I whined about it and we were bickering when we saw this other Thai shop tucked in a corner and decided to stop there instead.
Food was quite good, but was expensive. We had Prawn Tom Yum (medium size and medium spicy), a large fried fish in sweet and sour sauce, a huge plate of mixed Thai vegetables (brocolli, stringbeans, kailan in oyster sauce with prawns, beef, chicken and squid), with white rice and a pitcher of ice tea = SR105. (Oh and Anis had her bowl of noodles in chicken soup). Expensive by our warung standards..

After lunch we went to the barbershop to give the boys a haircut. I had to wait in the car. After some of the customers left, Taufik managed to move the car so that we were right by the shop window. Anis and I got to watch them get their haircuts. Ilham always has this funny tickly face when he gets his haircut. And the barber always has to hold and turn his head this way and that. He's very wriggly. Ihsan would just keep his head down real low, his chin kept tight to his chest. They looked funny with really short hair, but good. "You look so funny!!" Anis would tell them when they got into the car.
While Taufik and Ilham went for Asar prayers at a nearby mosque, Ihsan was playing "smell my head" with Anis, forcing his noggin close to Anis's nose and Anis would say "eyewwwww" and they would giggle. Repeatedly.
I told them not to unlock the car for anyone else but Ayah and Abang Ilham and took a nap instead. I was woken up by Anis who told me that Ayah wants me to open the door for him.

Then we headed for the market square where they sold plants.
We bought 20 pots of this red tufty flowering plants (ekor kucing?) for SR1 each and 10 pots of japanese roses for SR1.50 each. We wanted to buy some potting soil, but they were expensive, so we just bought a small bag for SR10.
We went home, and taufik planted the red flowers along the driveway and the japanese roses in our backyard.
The kids played outside for a bit.
Then we watched Simpsons and Malcolm In The Middle.
Then I made dinner.
Then we ate dinner.
Then we washed the dishes.
Then we watched Americ@n Id0l, then I blogged while the kids played with the PS2 with their father.
Then I heard them go to bed and share a joke that I didnt catch but seemed to be really funny coz they were laughing non-stop, which made me shut down the computer and go to bed myself.

whhaaaaaaaaattt???????

:confused: :confused: :confused:

Diorang ni takder telinga ker??? kenapalah tak vote out mat sengau tu keluar?? aku tak percaya tak percaya tak percayaaaaaa...!

I was crying when Ryan revealed that the bottom three were Mandisa, Elliot and P@ris. I was yelling NOOOOOOOOOOO!!! at the TV when P@ris was declared safe and Elliot and Mandisa was left. I didnt want any of them to go. I don't think they deserved it.

I am really really really reallly shocked that Mandisa got voted out. Granted that yesterday was not her best performance, I didnt think it would result in her getting voted out. I thought she still brought it on even with an unfamiliar song.

I didnt think she'd end up as the Id0l, but I was hoping that at least she'd be in the final (and I had had high hopes that by some miracle, the americ@n public wouldn't be as superficial as I thought they were and would vote her to be the winner).
I guess I was wrong.

I really do hope she has had enough exposure from the show though. Would she be tied to whoever produces the show? Because I am sure some recording company would grab her in a heartbeat.

I wish Mandisa good luck. I would really miss watching her sing.

Bodoh bodoh bodoh lah korang nihhhhh!!! geram betulllllll


:@ :|

Tapikan... lagi bodoh kita sebab emo pasal program TV... kih kih kih... ;)

Mommies are great!

There's an ongoing heated discussion at one of the on-line parenting forums I'm in.
It all started with a survey on how working mothers are coping with their lives. Then suddenly someone asked whether these working mothers feel like all their effort is 'worth it', and added how she is happy that she's not a working mom and hope she ends up in heaven for sacrificing her career for the sake of her family.
wtf.
Well, you can just imagine the slew of replies that came in response to that comment.

You know what, I think mommies are always putting themselves down. What's worse is, there are mommies who put other mommies down.
We're never good enough.
When we're a stay-at-home mommy, we whine about loss of 'elegance' (coz we presumably sit around in our jammies all day long) and loss of sense of self. We dream about strutting about in power suits and high-heeled shoes ordering people around for a change. We dream about not smelling like detergent and sauted onions.
When we're a working mom, we whine about losing touch with our kids and losing that maternal instinct. We dream about lazing at home, watching Oprah. We dream about taking walks with our kids in the middle of the day. We dream about napping. We dream about smelling like baby powder. We dream of whipping up dishes from scratch, and wowing our spouse and children with our magic culinary skills.
It is made worse when there are mommies out there who asks "So who takes care of your children?" when we tell them we work, and then there are those who say "You're just a housewife?" when we tell them we don't work.
We are made to feel guilty when we hire a maid or send kids off to the nursery. We are made to feel 2nd class and unappreciated when we take care of them on our own.

I say, let's put it to rest.
I think as long as you are happy, it doesnt matter if you're spending only 12 hours or 24 hours a day with your kids. You can and will still be a good mommy.
There's no point of being a stay-at-home mommy if you're cranky all the time and screaming at the kids the moment they come home from school and feed them instant noodles (every day).
There's no harm in coming home at 7pm and not being able to cook for the kids yourself, if you are able to show them that they're special and you love them and spend the rest of the day with them.
Like the experts say, it's the quality, not quantity.
And if you do it right, and do it for the sake of raising good citizens that will take care of this earth in the future, you will be rewarded accordingly.
Insya-Allah.

So whatever you do, work or not work, celebrate the fact that you're a mommy who is doing your best to raise your children and family right.

I think maybe that's why I like to blog about my kids. It sorta re-assures me that I am doing some things right, at least. To h*ll with those who thinks i'm boasting. It's my blog afterall, and it's meant to make *me* feel better about myself.

Well, I am hungry for breakfast and I havent showered yet. The kids are watching Johnny Bravo.
*wink*

co-sleeping

A few nights ago when Taufik was still away, the kids squabbled over who gets to sleep 'in the middle', which actually means who gets to sleep beside me. We had a system, everybody took turns. That night it was Ihsan's turn, and I had to explain to Anis why it wasnt her turn. She didnt understand what 'turn' means, so the boys and I were trying to explain it to her.
When everyone had settled down and accepted the arrangement, I laid on my side of the bed listening to the kids' breathing (or snoring as in Ilham's case) and wondered what it would be like with 4 kids instead of 3.
I know we're not the only parents who co-sleep with their kids, but I often wonder how other parents succeeded in kicking their kids out of their bedroom. Do they wait till they've grown body hair? (the kids, not the parents).
I mean, I love my kids.. but I think I've tried almost everything to get them to sleep in their own rooms, but to no avail.
Ihsan slept with the maid after I weaned him off, but then when my maid went home for good, he ended up sleeping in our bedroom again. The same thing happened with Anis.
I got them to sleep in their own room in this house (in S@udi) for a while, but then Anis started waking up in the middle of the night to crawl into our bed. Then the 'middle of the night' got earlier and earlier, till it became 'at bedtime'.
I've tried locking the door and yelling "Go back to bed!", but then she'd be so persistent, we'd give up in the end and let her in just so that we could get some sleep. So Anis ended up sleeping with us.
Then Ilham started getting 'nightmares' .. and Ihsan didnt want to sleep alone, so now they're sleeping on comforters on the carpet beside our bed.

I know my pregnancy is damning evidence that having children in the domestic goddess' budoir is not affecting her sex life, but i feel that it actually does.
I cannot 'get it on' when there are kids sleeping and snoring less than 5 feet of me. It just creeps me out. I know that they're asleep, but I believe that their souls' eyes are awake and can see. What if I'm psychologically damaging them with my activities (which can get a bit noisy at times)? What if they wake up and saw? That would be horrible!
So how did I get pregnant? Well, usually we end up sneaking out of the bedroom in the middle of the night, or doing it at other times (fringe benefits of being a housewife *wink*)

I'm trying to get the kids ready for not sleeping with me. I tell them that when the baby is born, they're gonna have to go back to sleeping in their own room. Coz the baby is going to have to sleep with me and there will be no room for them.
I hope it'll work.

gerang sunggoh

Apologies to my readers who only read english and standard malay.. I feel like ranting and I do it best in Trengganu dialect

Gerang sunggoh lah..
Pagi sakni doh beriya2 nok tulih samthing, tapi bila tra nok login internet, buleh dial-up, tapi bila not bukok yahoo ke, nok masuk ke efx2 ke.. dokleh pulok.
Saghitu jadi doh ginni.. tapi bila cuba skali lagi, buleh pulok.
tapi haghi nih, beghapa puloh kali tra pun dok jjaddi jugok.
sambil2 tunggu tu kita ni dok mmaing lah minesweaper..
sapa bole mata-mata mmaing benda alloh nih..
pahtu tra lagi nok masuk internet, dokleh jugok!
sapa dok teringat doh nok tulih amende.

petang sikik bila dok ghok nok tra doh, kita pong talipong lah ke dia, tanya bakper lah weh dokleh masuk internet. Pahtu dia kata nati dia check, dia talipong smula lah deh? kiter ni pong tunggu lah jugok.. (bukang tunggu dok co-ngok dok wak ggape satu lah.. gi kkeda rucit semeta, mmasok sikit ke budok2.. tengok tibi sambil2 makang..)
Takdok talipong pung..
nasib baik lah kita ni jenih hok rajing check sediri. Lepah cakkak dengan Tofet dalam talipong (dia dudok atah bah doh.. tidor meta meta .. bah dok bgheti makang pung lagi, tunggu masuk isyak gamok nyer. Esok pagi sapa dumoh lah , Insya-Allah), kita pong tra lah sekali lagi..
Hoh! nasib baik buleh.
Natang sunggoh ... pokcik tu dok talipong kkabo pong!
Kita tengok lah pulok esok guaner. Buleh ke dok.
Tapi esok kiter dok tulih ggape satu ghamoknyer sebab pagi tu nok gi jjupe doktor, check-up hok last sekali, pahtu kalu tofet ghok, ingak nok gi b@hrain semeta. Bukang nok gi jjallang manna pong.. nok activate multiple entry visa jah. Tapi kalu buleh gi jjallang sikik, syok jugok lah.. gi bbelli cili sos ke ..

sapa sinning jah lah deh?

secret

Listen, do you wanna know a secret?
Do you promise not to tell?
-- The Beatles

While waiting for my SPM results, I was sent to an Intensive English course to prepare myself for TOEFL exams. I didn't really want to go, actually, coz my heart was set on going to UTM in Skudai, J0hor. Somehow I didn't want to study overseas.
The course was fully sponsored by M@ra, and it was assumed that if I passed with good results, they would also offer a loan/scholarship for me to further my studies to wherever I wanted to go.
So I went to Slim R1ver, a small quiet sleepy old town in Per@k to take this course, simply because I had nothing better to do anyways. There I met up with Suhai and some of my other former schoolmates, along with other former MRSM students from all over the country.

Life there was kinda okay. I mean, we were doing nothing else but learning English for a few months. I can't even remember how long we were there. Must've been at least 3 or 4 months coz we were there till we got our SPM results, then we waited for our UPU applications (College placements - whether we got offered scholarships/loans to study overseas or whether we got places in local universities).

We were given accomodations in a shop lot facing the main road that connects KL to Ipoh, right opposite the the big police station and quarters. At night we could hear lorries drive by. Once we even saw a lorry transporting a baby elephant. It stopped right in front of our building and all the girls ran to the windows to gawk at the cute fat hairy lump of grey. The curtains in our room are drawn most of the time because not only could people on the outside see in (if they looked up, coz our rooms were on the 2nd floor), but because at night the streetlights were pretty bright.

We had fixed schedules.
Weekday mornings we had classes. We'd have an assembly in front of another row of shophouses that had been rented to be our classrooms. The 'headmaster' or his assistant would give a short talk before we go into class.
Saturday mornings we were either at the police station being drilled by them, or we were made to run through the oil palm plantation across the railway tracks. Some weekends a bunch of us would take the train to KL and go home or go shopping (if we can afford it).
Meals were provided, I think... I can only remember that sometimes they'd serve half-boiled eggs and toast, which I learned to eat with soy sauce and pepper. Yummy.
One of the weekdays, I think it was Wednesdays, was Pekan Sehari (like farmer's market) day in Slim River and some of us would skip tea-break and take a walk among the stalls set-up along the streets of the chinese part of the town.
In the afternoons sometimes we'd walk to the train station and just watch the trains pass by.
There were TV rooms provided for the students, a seperate one for girls and boys. That's where you'll find me and Suhai most of the time.
We had curfews and lights out. Everyone was supposed to be in bed and the lights should be off by 11pm every night, irregardless of whether it was a weekend or a school night.

So there I was, one night, reading a very interesting book (I can't even recall what it was and whose it was.. it definitely wasn't mine, it was probably borrowed), when they called for lights out and we had to switch off the lights.
I laid on my bed for a while, trying to sleep. When I couldn't, I picked up the book and sat up on my bed, closer to the windows to capture the light. There was still not enough light for me to read, and afraid that I would disturb my roomates if I drew the curtains too wide, I decided to sit on the window sill.
It was one of those windows that you could open out, and it had no grills and it had quite a wide ledge.
I was kinda uncomfortable sitting on the narrow strip of metal window sill, so I decided to climb out and sit on the ledge instead, with my feet dangling down.
It was quite nice, really, coz there was a nice breeze and the street lights made my reading more comfortable.
I was enjoying the last few pages of my book when I heard the sound of feet on gravel and a "Hey, Kamu buat apa tu?" (Hey, what are you doing?) coming from the ground. It was one of the security guards.
I quickly scrambled back into my room, closed the window, jumped in bed and pretended to sleep, my heart beating in panic. I waited for a big ruckus, maybe banging on doors, maybe an interrogation.. but it never came.

The next morning there was an assembly. They lined us up and told us that one of the security guards caught a student trying to kill him/herself.
"ahhh.. so they didnt know whether it was a boy or a girl.." I thought. Which was pretty weird coz I sported really long hair at that time. Maybe I had tied it up? can't remember.
I was kinda suprised that the guard wasnt even sure which room/floor the suicidal suspect was allegedly trying to jump from.
I kept a straight face the whole time they were trying to weed out the 'suspect'.
We had to endure a long talk about how commiting suicide is a sin and that if we had any problems we could come and see any of the teachers to talk about it.
Goddammit I was just trying to read a book!, I thought to myself.

I never told anyone it was me.
My roomates seemed to care less.. the school wasn't buzzing about a suicidal student and who it could have been, and after a few days, the incident was all but forgotten.

---

Postscript:
I never got to UTM Skudai, coz I submitted my UPU forms late, so I resigned to the fact that I had to accept whatever M@ra would offer me. I did quite well in my TOEFL exams (Suhai scored the highest marks, and I was a close second) so they sent us to take our American Associate Degree (AAD) program and I eventually went to the University of Illin0is.
Coincidently, Taufik also wanted to go to UTM, but couldn't go coz his parents weren't around (they were off to perform their Hajj) when he got the offer and couldn't give him the money to send him off. He finally got another offer to take the AAD program and this time he was determined and made all the required arrangements himself, seeking the help of his uncles and aunties.
And during the AAD program was where we met each other.
*grin*

these past few days

Just when I promised mokciknab that I'd be on-line so that my kids could chat with her kids, my internet went down! My ISP did some upgrades on the system and I was offline for almost 2 days.
Then when it was up, it was abit unstable somehow..
Today, for instance, I could dial up. but somehow the network was out of wack and I couldnt acces any web pages.
Till now, that is.

My husband left for Makk@h yesterday evening.
I cried.
It's not that I didnt want him to go.. i mean he's gone to perform the umrah, which is an ibadah afterall, but then.. it's the 18hour bus journey that kinda worries me.
And the fact that he's away.
I called him yesterday before his bus was supposed to depart, another time around 8 to ask if he has had his dinner. Then he called around 10 to tell he just had dinner and to ask about the kids.
I called him at 8am this morning to find out where he had reached, but he didnt pick up the phone.
I called him again at 8:30am and he picked up this time, telling me he was at the miqat, changing into his ihram.
He called me around 1:30pm just now and told me he had just completed his umrah, and is now going out for lunch.
Alhamdulillah.
He's going to do his umrah again within the next 2 days. His bus leaves Makk@h on Saturday, around mid-day. He'll be back on Sunday morning, Insya-Allah.

I am often reminded of someone's comment saying that I will receive some sort of enlightment when I move here. I am praying that the enlightment does not involve me losing someone I love. Hence my anxiety in letting Taufik travel so far without me.
(He's not alone, he's travelling with 3 other guys, and there are 2 families who ahd driven to Madinah earlier and are meeting up with them in Makkah).
What makes it worse is that people going to Umrah/Hajj are often advised to leave their wasiat (will?), just in case anything happens. So before he left, he reminded me of what debts we still have (2 house loans), what insurances we have signed up for, what I should do and who I should call should anything happen.
It just broke my heart even thinking about it.

But I try to waylay all negative thoughts.
I imagine him reaching there, praying for me and our family to be kept living in Islam and if we were to go, to go with Iman, in front of the Holy Ka'ab@h. I imagine him coming home in one piece, and his soul in peace, and that he would lead us as the head of an ideal islamic family would.
Insya-Allah, kan?

This morning we had hot dogs for brunch and then roti canai with dhal for lunch/tea.
I don't know what we'll have for dinner.
Not Maggi goreng.
I have a hankering for some burgers, actually. And curly fries..

It's maghrib now. better go.

Easy Peasiest Chocolate Cake

This is actually a cheat recipe. Coz I used the Betty Cr0cker cake mix. But the combination of other stuff made it turn out ssooooo good and it looked like I had put in a lot of effort into it, I thought maybe other mommies/daddies/people would like to try it out someday..

This was yesterday's 'afternoon activity' for my kids. They enjoyed the measuring and pouring and stirring and baking and waiting bit tremendously. If you wanna get educational, this activity done together taught my kids :
- how to read and follow instructions,
- learned a few new words ('beat' has a good and bad meaning, and what 'grease the pan' meant)
- how ingredients are measured (cups, tablespoons, millilitres)
- chocolate cakes are yummmeh!

So here's the recipe:

Easy Peasiest Chocolate Cake

Ingredients:
One box of Betty Cr0cker Cake Mix (I used 'Super Moist Chocolate Cake')
Roudhly chopped walnuts (optional)
2 boxes of thick cream (mine was 250ml each, so that makes up to 500ml)
4 tablespoons of Milo or chocolate drink mix
icing sugar (to taste, only if your choc drink mix has no sugar added)
Chocolate sprinkles

Method:
Mix and bake the cake per instructions on box. I substituted water with fresh milk and added nuts at the bottom of the pan. I don't have a mixer, so I just used my blender ;). Take out of oven and let cool.
Prepare the frosting by mixing the thick cream with the chocolate drink mix. Taste and add icing sugar if necessary. Note: I don't like my frosting to be too sweet, so I did not add sugar.
Once cake is cooled, spread on the chocolate frosting and lay on the chocolate sprinkles as much as you like!
Chill if you want to, but not necessary.

Isn't that so easy??
The kids ate some for dessert after dinner, then ate some more before going to bed, after we came back from my Tajweed class. I still have one more container in the fridge.. so we will prolly eat some more for tea!

yummehhhhhh...!

Epidural or GA?

With a schedule and all, you'd think things would be going on smoothly eh?
Well, kids are unpredictable, so we didnt really stick to the schedule much, but it is used as a guideline, at least.
Yesterday they woke up really late so I had to cancel the morning PS2 session and made them sit downstairs and draw while I cooked lunch (Pajeri terung!! first time I made them and it turned out okay! Yay!!). Then they played PS2 the whole afternoon till I chased them outside to play.
Today they woke up really early. By 8 they had already had their breakfast. I let them shower and play in the tub for a whole hour, enduring a very loud re-enactment of Tadpole Rag and Caterpillar Boogie (audio only).
E.g.:
Ihsan sings at the top of his voice, "One day teacher brought to school" *splash* "Something {inaudible} from the pool" *splash* "It was strange and wobbly" *splash* "Looks like jelly in a plate to me" *splash*.

One day i'll transcribe the whole song here..
and then I made them clean-up their room after dressing up.
Now they're playing Monster's Inc on PS2.

Note to Mokciknab and Papa: I'm going to schedule their 'webchat session' during "Free Activity", which is after dinner, roughly between 7:30 to 9:30 (s@udi time), would that be okay? We will log on earlier if we can. Sorry for not being able to do it earlier than that..

Aaaaaanyways...

today I wanna talk about me.

For the past 3 deliveries, I underwent C-section with the aid of an epidural. I chose epidural because then I'd be aware of what's going on and I'd be awake when the baby is delivered and presented to me and I'd be the first person to call the baby by name. I could even reach out and touch the baby if I wanted to.
For this delivery , however, I am contemplating on whether I should take epidural or not. I think sticking a long needle up your spine for the fourth time is really pushing your luck, don't you think?
So I am considering going under general anaesthetic. That means really really 'going under'.
I have never experienced this before, and I wonder what it's like.. I mean, how long will I be under? How long would it take for me to wake up after the delivery? Would there be any side effects after waking up?
With Epidural, i experienced mild nausea and extreme fatigue (don't know why). How would GA affect me? I heard that patients coming out of GA would sometime mumble and talk nonsense.. is that true? ANd how long will I be out? (i.e. when will I be able to see and feed my baby?)

I know that I should be asking these questions to my doctor, and I will, but I just wanted to hear other people's REAL experience with it.
So If you have any stories to share, I'd more than welcome them.
Hopefully it'll assist me in making my decision.

Thanx in advance!

shorty

so like, last night we laid down the rules.. only 2 hours of PS2 a day: one in the morning, one in the afternoon. At some point in the day, they HAVE to go out of the house to play. At some point of the day, they have to do at least one sheet of math exercise.
No TV, PS2 or playtime till they've brushed their teeth, taken a shower, dressed appropriately (coz they have been known to run around nekkid) and taken their breakfast.
They are to be at the dining room for meals when meals are served, not somewhere else.
Any deviation, and we'll take away one or all of the privileges.

Well, first thing ihsan did this morning was watched TV, full blast.
I had to threaten them before they made their way to the bathroom and downstairs for breakfast.
They played PS2 after breakfast. but made a lot of protesting noises when I told them the hour was up and it was time for their math exercises. Ihsan complained that he didnt get to play and that Ilham only played games that he didnt like to play.
Ilham finished his math in 20minutes, but Ihsan took longer.
They obediently ate lunch with us.
After lunch I made them do the jigsaw puzzles but Anis kept taking away pieces and hiding them.
Then they went outside to play even though I thought it was kinda too hot.
half an hour later they were back in the house, and I laid down a new rule.. 30 minutes of PS2 for Ihsan, then 30 minutes for Ilham. They can play whichever game they want.
In the end I think Ihsan played Sonic Heroes for an hour and it's been more than 30 minutes and Ilham is still playing Ace Combat.

I'm asking Taufik to bring home some paper so that we can draw up a schedule or something..

I did 3 loads of laundry. Folded one load. the 2nd load is dry but still in the laundry basket. The 3rd load is drying as we speak.
I have a headache.
I need a nap.
Still need to think what to cook for dinner.
Chicken Tom Yum sounds good, eh?

My highlight of the day: I made pasta ala olio and ate it with Cheddar Chex Mix for breakfast. Yum Yum Yum

bla bla bla

aiyoooohhh I am so tired from yesterday's family day..

I did two readaloud sessions. Once in the morning, after kids had played in the pool. I read The Very Busy Spider, and we made Spiders using ballons an straws and string.
Then another time in the afternoon while the older kids played congkak. I only read to the little girls a book borrowed from one of the mommies (who prolly reads this blog), "Gifts from Allah", which was about the wonder of our eyes, ears and mouth. We then sang Heads and Shoulders, Knees and Toes and also Itsy Bitsy spider.

Then we went home coz Anis was getting tired and cranky (and I was getting a bit pooped too) and Anis took a nap, I read TWoP and blogged about AI and then we showered and changed and went back to Khaloud for the dinner.
There was a prize giving ceremony (Ihsan won 3rd Place for his coloring!) and everyone got a souviner for participating.. and the kids was getting really restless and cranky coz they were really hungry.. we finally ate at .. hm.. 9? Food was good though. Then took pictures some more, then we headed for home.

If I havent mentioned it, next two weeks is the spring break for my boys.. so we stopped by ToysRUS on the way back and bought Ilham a pair of in-line skates, and Ihsan jigsaw puzzle.
I hope that these can keep them occupied enough to last the two weeks. I doubt it.
Aside from that I also plan to make cookies for spring fair and I'm prolly gonna rope them in to help me out with it.

We've brought out the PS2 from its 'secret hiding place' and it's now hooked up to the TV.. they're playing Transformers on it as I'm typing this.
I made it clear to them that I get first dibs on the TV though. They are not to hog it to play games.
I hope I survive in one piece and with my sanity intact.

AI Final 11 (eleven)

This week's theme was Songs from the 50's and the kids got coaching and arrangement advice from Barry Manil0w. I've gotta admit, I think Mr.M did a good job, because a lot of them imrpoved in terms of performence (except for IMHO, Taylor).
Here goes:

Mandisa (I don't hurt anymore) - I thought she looked HOT, She sounded HOT, and she moved HOT. But I didnt really like it when she screams.

Bucky (Oh Boy) - Somehow I didnt feel like he gave his all.. But I liked the way he twirled the mike in the end.

Paris (Fever) - Oh. man. She was so awesomely stylish, it was like watching Ella (Fitzgerald, not Ella melayu tuh). Good job.

Chris (I walk the line) - I have never heard of this song before, so I can't comment on whetehr he sang in tune or not, but I thought his voice kinda wavered in the first few verses.. maybe that's why he prefers to growl his tunes? But he made the song really catchy, and fit his personality, so kudos to him.

Kat (Come rain on come shine) - can this girl get any prettier? She was glowing and her performence was so professional.. simon was right when he said Kat was a star.

Taylor (Not Fade Away) - I thought it was a bit boring, tho he looked like he was having a lot of fun. I was a bit annoyed that he chose to make an entrance by singing Mandy to Barry Manil0w .. what a show-off!

Lisa (Why do fools fall in love) - I don't know what is the matter with this girl.. She sings well, but somehow her vocals came off as forced.. and even though her facial expressions show confidence, somehow I detect an uneasiness in her voice and body language... I dunno.

Kevin (When I fall in love) - hm.. he hit every note, and I love this song VERY much, but.. boring..

Elliot (Teach me tonight) - Alright.. finally we see some kind of emotion and soul injected in his performence.. but What in the world posessed him to put on that tie???

Kelly (Walking after Midnight) - what a suprise that she would pick Patsy Cline *rolls eyes*. I was a bit distracted with her going up and down the stairs, I was expecting her to trip and fall at some point (but unfortunately she didnt) and I hate it when she does the squats. Okay performence.

Ace (In the still of the night) - .. correction, a 'jazzy' version of In the Still of the night. Arrghhh nasal nasal nasal .. and quit looking into the camera like that!! It just gives me the creeps!!

Who I want out: Guess...? The Face of course.
Who I think they will vote out: Bucky.

Results:
I did not watch the result show, because I had a family day in Khaloud. I missed the 1pm show coz the folks there didnt have StarW0rld. And I wont be catching the repeat coz we have a dinner at the same venue at screening time. So this comment is based on reading the forum on TwoP (televisi0nWith0utPity).

I read that Lisa, Bucky and Kevin was in the bottom three. What?? No Ace???
And I read that Kevin was the one who got the boot. Awwwwww... poor chicken little.
ah well.. I wasnt rooting for Kevin anyway.
I didnt think Kevin would get voted out because of the news that the anti-Id0l-movement was going to vote for him to stay, but I guess they failed.. heh heh.. I wonder who they will be backing next.

What my kids are learning from TV

Anis was chewing on her vitamin C the other day when she declared
"Bonda, this vitamin is so gross!!" with expression to fit.
"whaaaaat...?" I said, coz she said "gwoss" and I wasnt sure if she knew what 'gross' is.
"It is soooo grossss" she said, making a face.
I laughed as I asked where she learnt that word and she said "From DeeDee" (Dexter's sister).

Yesterday she was just sitting around and she said
"Eeee.. siapa kentut? I smell a butt" (who farted? I smell a butt)
"You smell what??"
"A smelly butt"
I was laughing so hard I forgot to teach her about talking politely.

In the morning she was running around singing "wabershicenwabershicenwabershicen" over and over, which I think means "rubber chicken rubber chicken rubber chicken" .. I think she picked this up from Jojo's circus.
At least she's not in her "shtupid dog!" phase, anymore.

oh yeah, and the other day I caught Anis sniffing the TV.
Then I noticed that Bear In the Big Blue House was on. You know how that bear was always pretending to sniff and smell you and ask if you've just been playing outside?
Anis says the bear is smelly..
(ha ha maybe sebab dia tak suka mandi..)

I must admit, we're a family that just lurrrrves to watch TV. When we went back to M'sia, the kids kept wanting to go to their grandma's house coz nenek has Astro and we don't anymore.
I try to control and monitor what my kids watch as much as I can, and I think I am quite strict when it comes to what I do let them watch. It's really a good thing that I love watching cartoons as well, so usually I am quite in touch with what's showing on TV and am well aware of which shows I don't agree with.
I don't let them watch Ed,Edd and Eddie (even though i find that show hilarious and is always partial to anybody named 'Eddie'), because they are super naughty and they scream a lot.
Kids Next Door is also another problem, because I think it teaches the kids to mistrust adults and form negative opinions about authority. I enjoy the fact that it teaches my kidsa about acronyms and such, though. Ilham is always making up secret codes.. he writes his name as M.I.M.T. now (M0hamadd Ilham M0hamed Taufik).
Cow and Chicken and I am Weasel... I used to LOVE this show. But ever since I got kids.. I don't think they're suitable.. too many butts.

If I have the time, I would sit and watch the shows with them and make appropriate comments .. like "eee that's not nice" or "eewww that is so nasty" or "why are they always screaming??" or "whay does he like to say stupid?"
I think my kids get the point, i.e. what is appropriate and what is not.
Sometimes I would hear the theme song to Ed,Edd and Eddy (which I find to be really catchy, by the way) while I was cooking in the kitchen and I would hear Ilham say "Bonda doesn't let us watch this, let's change to Disney Channel" and then I would hear Kim Possible next.

But despite the negative bits that they pick up from TV (which we can control and monitor and correct), I think they're picking up a lot of positive things too.
They get their weekly dose of insect-facts from Buggin' with Rudd. They always scream "i want this I want this" (meaning they want to watch this show so please don't change the channel) whenever there's a show about planes or ships or tanks or trucks or whatever massive machinery. Sometiems they'd ask me what words mean.. and I think that's good.

The other day I overheard Ilham say "Lets play...(pause) ... the weakest link." in his best Anne R0binson impression. *snicker*

4 more weeks to go ...

Last Saturday I went to see my Ob/Gyn. She had set a date for my C-section. She said it should be on April 15th. I asked her whether it could be postponed (coz my mom is only scheduled to arrive in May, she's in Seattle helping out tulisje at the mo) but she said that since this is my 4th C-section, she does not advise carrying the baby past the 38th week.
So I had to email tulisje and buat muka tak malu and ask her if my mom can come home earlier than the previously scheduled date. I feel so guilty for having to take my mom away from her. It's her first baby after all.. but then, I have no one else to help me to get through the first few weeks at home with my baby. From my experience with the first 3, the first few weeks can get quite challenging coz I'd still be healing from the stitches and can't really move around much with ease. I would really need help with bathing the baby, especially.
Housework and the 3 kids, I can probably trust my husband with. But the baby.. not that I don't trust him, it's just that he can get a bit squeamish about handling a new born. He is usually more hands-on when the baby is older and not so soft muscle-wise.
If worse comes to worse (i.e. my mom can't come on time), no choice, I'd have to trust Taufik..
hee hee.. Come to think of it, I think that'd be quite fun to watch.

------------------

April 15th is a Saturday. If I deliver then, and stay in the hospital for 5 days, that would mean I'd be going home on Wednesday..
alright.. that means I'd still be able to catch Americ@n Id0l!

sheeesh... can't believe that a reality show is one of the determining factors for my child's delivery date...

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We have decided, this will be my last pregnancy. I will request for a tub@l lig@tion during the C-section.
Somehow thinking about this being my last pregnancy, I think I will miss being pregnant. I kinda like knowing that I have something growing inside me. It sorta makes me feel kinda powerful.. I mean I can determine what the baby likes to eat, by watching what I eat during the pregnancy.. determine his mood by controlling my moods.. sorta makes you feel like an actual Goddess.
And I actually like feeling the baby move inside me and watching my tummy grow. Watching it change shape as the baby move around. Feeling my tummy's surface trying to figure out, is this his head? is this his elbow? are these his feet? or knees? I like rubbing and massaging the bulges and see it respond in movement, and chasing it around, almost like I was actually tickling it through the thick skin(and fat) of my belly.
I liked watching ultra-sound pictures and see the baby actually change from a tiny pulsating blob to an actual baby. Even for the 4th time, it never fails to awe me.
I think this 4th pregnancy has been the best among all, because I have my 3 kids to enjoy it with. Ilham and Ihsan is big enough to understand that I have a baby inside me, and Anis just have this natural loving instinct. When I was pregnant with Ilham, there was nobody to rub my tummy and talk to the baby. With Ihsan, Ilham was too young to understand.. I think he only noticed that I couldnt carry him around anymore. With Anis, Ilham&Ihsan understood but somehow they were not as attentive as they are now.
I often get requests to look and touch my tummy nowadays. Ilham would whisper "Hello Baby.. this is abang ilham". Ihsan would hug my round tummy every morning. Anis would help rub olive oil and always asks "Baby tidor?" (is baby asleep?). I think this little baby is going to feel so loved.

Oh but I can live without the midnight heartburn though..
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Gosh. I still have so much to do!!
I need to find a rack for the baby stuff.
Last week I had looked at a second hand travel system (baby carseat and stroller in one), but we havent got a price quotation for it yet.
I plan to breastfeed, but i still need to buy a few bottles and teats , just in case..
I need to plan the changing table to bathing area routine and route.

On top of that, April 12th I have to visit the school and check out the reception class for Anis. April 12th is also the Spring Fair, and I promised to bake something that they can sell.. I think I'll do that next week when the kids are on their spring break.. that way they can help me out.

Hm.. come to think of it, that doesnt sound like it's too much to do..

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Wish I had more time, but also wish it's not over so soon..

Be crhool to your scuel (a.k.a. The School Meme)

I wanted to write about something else, but since my sis-in-law threatened me into this...

---

How many schools did I go to?

My father worked for RTM (The national broadcasting corporation), so we moved around a lot.. so I guess I went to quite a few schools before I finally went to a boarding school and stayed put even when my family had to move. (You'll see this fact true for almost all my siblings)
So here goes:
1. Sekolah Rendah Sultan Ismail (1), Kuala Trengganu. I only went there for one year, and I remember that my teacher was this really sexy chinese lady who liked to wear sleeveless tops and mini skirts.
2. Sekolah Rendah Kampung Tunku, Petaling Jaya. I went there for 2 years. First few months I didnt make any malay friends because the only version of malay I knew was in Trengganu dialect and they couldnt understand me. I could speak fluent english, so most of my friends were chinese or indian. I had a lot of fun in this school. We made up a lot of adventures and mysteries to solve, my best friend (Adeline Yap Lai Fong) and I.
3. Sekolah Rendah Assunta Convent, Kuantan. I was the 'girl from the big city' and my name didnt help me much coz some kids thought I was a snob even before they talked to me, but eventually I made friends. Some even, who are still good friends with me till now.
4. Sekolah Menengah Tanah Putih, Kuantan. This was a school that my mother taught at, but she didnt teach my class coz I was put in a class that didnt have Home Science (*phew* .. i think that'd be awkward). I was the only malay girl in my class and it was really weird coz they had two sessions of mandarin every week and I was always lost. I'd usually do my homework during that session. I was there for about a month or so I think, because then I got offered a place in a boarding school.
5. Mara Junior Science College, Kuantan. Which is the boarding school mentioned above. Again, at first I think a lot of people misjudged me by my name, but it didnt take long for people to see that I'm not really a snob or 'anak lord' (rich kid), especially when they saw I could wash my own clothes and seldom have pocket money (I only get $5 a week, while most of the other kids get extra pocket money for snacks and stuff). First few months I got really homesick even though my dad would come to pick me up every other weekend..

Was I the studious nerd, or the last minute hero?

I was definitely the last minute hero. I really hated studying. I'd finish my homework of course, but I'd rather be watching TV than reading the textbooks.
I'd only study if there's an exam coming.. tomorrow. and usually it's with some music on (Wings!! remember, dory?) and a packet of some kinda junk food at hand, lying on the bed ( ahhh... I'll never forget those days, dory)

Was I the class ‘taiko’ (don't-care-macho-attitude is what I presume it would mean in English) or the teacher’s pet?

Aiyoh.. I don't know.
I was in the Student Council, so does that make me a teacher's pet? I don't think I was ever anyone's favourite, since there are many other popular kids around. I think I was just a normal student. (though I was head cheerleader, but that's only because I had the loudest voice and the least amount of shame)

What was the biggest rule I broke in school?

Hm.. I didnt write porn like rotidua, but I did bring in porn literature to school. and left it there for my juniors to enjoy.. ha ha. (Eh, dory, did you read that book?)

Three subjects I enjoyed

1. Physics! until I got to the nuclear fission/fusion part coz the teacher who thought me this had this ever-present grin on his face and I felt like he was bull-shitting me. I did really bad in Physics that semester.
2. Math , coz I liked the way you could manipulate numbers and stuff.
3. English .. coz it was easy ;)

Three teachers that inspired me

Mrs. Fonander - she taught us music and was in charge of the library. She is so creative and taught me to appreciate pretty things. During Special Tuckshop, she'd always sell these square pieces of cakes decorated in pastel icing with flowers and hearts and stuff. They were so pretty and delicious. I wonder if she's still around.
Puan Siti Hasmah - my homeroom teacher who also taught us Computer Science. Aside from my dad, she was the other person who taught me basic computer programming rules. What she taught me then had stuck with me and has been useful for me throughout the rest of my life.
Puan Zuriati - we used to not stand her at all!! We thought that she was kinda weird, but actually she was really nice. Instead of being couped up in class, she used to teach us Geography under the trees and fed us raisins (it makes us smarter she said) And getting to know her as an adult (me as an an adult), I find her quite intriguing, coz she has so much passion for education.

---

So who wants to get tagged??
What about...
marina,
mommyalif and
ninuk ..?

ar@bic numbers

Note: This is not a lesson in ar@bic numerals.

One of the makciks melayu went shopping at one of the local bazaars and she saw an item that she liked and the sign was for 10 riyals. She thought it was a good bargain, so she started picking one. When it was time to pay the seller, the seller asked for 15 riyals. She got mad, and said "But your sign says 10 riyals!"
"La(No), 15 riyals", the seller insisted.
"10" she said, pointing at the sign.
"La 10.. 15." and he proceeded to write the price in european numerals, a 1, and a 5.
Only then did she realize that the sign was written in ar@bic numerals.

You see, ar@bic numbers are totally different from european numerals, so sometimes we 'foreigners' get a little confused ..



As you can see, 1 and 9 looks 'normal', but Zero is just a dot.
The number 2 looks like it is written sideways, and so does 3, except it has a tail.
The 4 looks like a mirror image of the european 3, and the 5 looks like a zero.
The number 6 looks like a european 7, and the number 7 looks like the letter V, or the roman 5.
The number 8 looks like an A (without the bar in the middle, or an upside down V, if you like), which is how I remember it, i.e. A=8.
Confused yet? heh heh
I won't even go into their names, because I can only remember up to 5... :(
That means, if I go to a shop, I can only ask for up to 5 of each item.. tee hee.
When bargaining with a non-english speaking salesman, I usually resort to writing things down, either on paper, or in the air or I would use my fingers to sign. Some of the other makciks bring a calculator along to ease their haggling.

This confusion can be quite dangerous (to your wallet) when you're driving, coz a speed limit that looks like a 70, is actually a 65..
Most highways would have signages written in both european and ar@bic numbers/letters, so that 'foreigners' can understand them.

Another confusing thing is that, even though words are written and read from right to left, numbers, however, are written and read from left to right.
In the earlier days that I was here, I often got prices and phone numbers wrong, because I thought it was the other way 'round.

I think the ar@bic numbers are really pretty, though.. especially when you have a number that are nothing but 7's and 8's and with a few zeros thrown in.. it can create quite a pattern!
:)

Ilham's New Toy

This is somewhat related to PB's post on not having everything in the world..

On Thursday we had a Family Day in Khaloud Village, and the kids participated in a colouring contest. At some point during the day, the kids had nothing to do, so they went to play at the park. When it was time to go, I discovered that Ilham was carrying 3 pieces of grey plastic. I asked him what it was, and he said it was a ship.
Sure enough, they were broken up pieces of a model air craft carrier.
He held on to the pieces like they were precious treasures. I kept telling him to throw it away, coz they were junk, and he kept insisting that they were not. He found some masking tape and taped the pieces together and he was so happy that finally it had some semblance of an aircraft carrier.
When we got home, he took a shower with it, but the masking tape got wet and the thing fell apart.
He beggggged me to glue the pieces together (since I don't allow him to play with super glue). So while watching Harry P0tter and The Prisoner of Azk@ban, I obliged and painstackingly super glued the warped and cracked pieces together.

The thing is now Ilham's prized possession.

Sorry for the blurry picture.. I need photo taking lessons!!

Mokciknab is prolly rolling her eyes now... she's prolly thinking "belikan je lah budak tu a model aircraft carrier.." (just go and buy the boy a model aircraft carrier)..
I know, I know..! we're so kedekut..! (Kedekut=Cheap) .. and our kids are like underprivileged kids..they don't have any toys.
*guilty*

But actually , underneath that guilty feeling at the pit of my stomach, there's a kind of pride, that Ilham could see the potential of something wonderful in something that other people would consider junk and would have discarded and wasted.

I have a recycler in the making! :D
It's either that, or a pack-rat, or worse.. a hobo!

AI Top 12 Performence and Results

First, let me review the performences:

Ace (Do I Do) - I thought he was sumbang, and oh so so nasal. I couldnt understand a word he was singing, coz I think he was mumbling. I think Paula is pekak, coz I think Ace was aweful. I agree with Simon that Ace's performence was a bit manic. And I finally figured out why Ace look so familiar. He actually reminds me of Syazwan.. except that Syazwan is not so annoying, and probably has nicer hair. (Note: Syazwan is mokciknab's office mate. You can see him modelling on SuhaimiSulaiman's blog)

Kellie (Blame it on the sun) - I thought she was pretty boring this time, but when she started talking (in the after-performence interview with Ryan) she is SO FUNNY!!

Elliot (Knocks me off my feet) - the singing was smooth, but the overall performence was like a karaoke session. He didn't move much and didn't know how to use the stage. It was as if he was auditioning again. I hope next week he will dance more.

Mandissa (Don't U worry abt a thing) - I thought she was a bit off-key at first, but she really brought it on towards the end of the song. Superb job, as always. Berminyak nya muka makcik nih..

Bucky (Superstitious) - He chose something Bo Bice would've chosen, and it was obvious that he was quite comfrotable with the song. I think his voice was very very good for the song. He looked like he had a lot of fun too! And he also washed and blowed his hair!

Melissa (Lately) - She messed up the lyrics!! (but then I remember Bo messing up the lyrics once, but on a pre-result performence), vocally, she was okay though.

Lisa (Signed, Sealed, Delivered) - Now I know why she always sing ballads... She's a mellow kinda person, and not so good with up-tempo songs.. Even though it was obvious she was trying her best, somehow the delivery looked kinda deliberate, like it was very very staged. Like a bad broadway performence. Maybe it's coz we've seen Fantasia nail this song so Lisa paled in comparison.

Kevin (Part Time Lover) - vocally I thought Kevin was okay, though it was a bit straightforward, with no personality. And what was that dancing?? It was SO FUNNY! But I didnt think the performence was apalling..

Kat (Until U come back to me) - oh. my. god. She was so at ease!! She looked so professional. And beautiful. nuff said.

Taylor (Leavin' for the city) - like Kat, Taylor looked at ease, and as always he injected a lot of his soul into the song. This guy totally has no inhibitions when he's performing.. the crowd's reaction said it all..

Paris (All I do) - she was very very passionate and it translated in her performence and I agreed with Simon saying that it's as if we're watching a different show..some guys looked so amateurish (especially you know who) compared to the 2nd half.

Chris (Higher Ground) - I thought he did an amazing job, but seriously, I would like to see him tackle a song with less screaming. I know Rock is his genre, but I wanna see some range, some vocal acrobatics. Come on Chris!! I know u can do it!

Who I wanted to be out: ACE
Who I thought would be out: Melissa (you don't mess up Stevie's lyrics, man..)

Result show:
What in the world was Ace supposed to be in the F0rd video? Bigfoot?
I was SO HAPPY when Ace was in the bottom three. Americans have ears!! They are not tone deaf!! There is hope!
I wasnt suprised that Melissa was in it.
When it was only Lisa and Bucky left, of course I thought , "Oh No... Buckeeeee!!!", but surprise, surprise, Bucky was safe!
Melissa looked resign to her fate when she was standing there with Lisa and Ace. It was as if she knew that between the three, it would be her.
I was actually praying that it would be Ace, but what the hey..
At least it showed that there is hope that he will NOT be the next Americ@n Id0l.

Easy Peasy Tepung Boko (Tapioca pudding with coconut cream topping)

'Boko' actually means 'talam' (tray) in the dialect of the folks in the east coast of M@laysia. So the proper name for this dessert would be 'Tepung Talam Ubi Kayu'

Oh man... I have been craving for this for like.. TWO MONTHS.
I asked around for recipes coz I couldnt get my mom on the phone. And then when I did, Taufik kept asking me to wrap up the conversation coz it's so expensive to call home so I didnt get to ask her for the recipe.
OndeOnde gave me a recipe, but hers required steaming, and it wasnt exactly the way my mom did it, plus I don't have a steamer (yet).
Luckily I managed to ask my sister in Seattle right before she gave birth, to ask my mom (Who was with her to assist with the delivery and taking care of the baby) for the recipe and email it to me. I got the recipe exactly the day before she gave birth.
Yay!!

So the next thing I did was go shopping for ingredients.
The recipe stated half a kilo of tapioca. I picked out a few pieces of tapioca and thought they looked so little, so I took some more and ended up with 1 kilo.
It looked less after I had peeled and grated/blended the tapioca. I ended up with roughly 1.5 cups of blended tapioca which looked measly to me, but as soon as I cooked it, it swelled to A LOT of tapioca..!!
It is actually extremely easy to make. The only tedious part is grating/blending the tapioca. Cooking took about 20-30 minutes for each layer, and that is because it was under low heat.


Tepung Boko : Tasted and Approved by Kelas Tajweed Ar@mco 2006

I don't mean to brag, but damn was it good..! It definitely satisfied my cravings... *lick lips* and *lick spoon*

Easy Peasy Tepung Boko (Tapioca pudding with coconut cream topping)

Tapioca layer:
1.5 cups of raw tapioca (peeled, cleaned, grated or blended. Put in a sieve but collect the liquid. Let the liquid stand for a while till the starch seperates from water. Discard water, put the starch back into the tapioca)
3 cups of water (or more.. this is at your discretion)
1 cup of sugar (again, at your dicretion.. I used roughly this much. The tapioca needs to taste sweeter than you think to balance out the creamy topping)
1/4 tsp of salt
2 tablespoons of thick coconut milk (I used the canned coconut milk)

Cook the tapioca + water + sugar over slow fire in a pot (my mom uses a wok, but my wok had oil in it coz I had fried chicken for lunch and was too lazy to wash it so I used a pot), keep stirring to avoid burning the tapioca, until the tapioca becomes transluscent. Add salt and coconut milk. Taste and add sugar if necessary. Stir until it thickens to the consistency of them paste you use in school.
Pour into a container that has been rubbed with a bit of cooking oil.

Coconut cream layer:
1200ml (roughly 6 cups) of thick coconut milk (I used 3 cans of 400ml each)
6 tablespoons rice flour, tapioca flour or corn flour (I used tepung beras - rice flour, and the ratio is like 1 tablespoon for every 200ml of coconut milk)
6 tablespoons of sugar (1 tbsp for every 200ml of coconut milk)
1.5 teaspoons of salt (1/4 teaspoon for every 200ml of coconut milk)

Mix rice flour with some of the coconut milk till smooth and well blended before adding it into the whole concoction (this avoids clumps). Cook coconut milk+rice flour+sugar under slow fire until the coconut milk thickens to roughly the same consistency of the tapioca. Add salt (but taste to make sure its not too salty).
Pour into the container on top of the tapioca.
Let cool, then chill before serving.

As I said, I ended up with more tapioca than I actually needed. This recipe yielded 3 medium sized containers (12inch by 6 inch) of this delicious dessert. You could reduce the recipe accordingly, just make sure the ratios stay the same.


To serve, just scoop out an equal portion of tapioca and topping into a bowl/plate. You have to eat it with a spoon.


Yummy yummy!! Anis loves it!

Tadpole Rag and Caterpillar Boogie

Today we attended the Key Stage One Production of Tadpole Rag and Caterpillar Boogie.
It was so much fun!! And so pretty!

Ihsan was a cocoon, and his costume was just this white sack that covered his whole body and all he did was wriggled on stage (as if he was about to come out) while the others sang the cocoon song.
(But when the others were 'performing', Ihsan would be singing instead)
I think he had fun, coz he has been singing the songs for the past 2 weeks or so. His voice was drowned out by the others because he had a slight sore throat (poor ihsan..) and he looked so serious on stage.
I saw him scan the audience and I put up my hand and waved until I caught his eye, and you should see the way he beamed.. :D
There was a resounding applause when the production was over by the audience. I felt so proud I got all misty eyed..

We tried to get a picture of him with the full costume after the performence was over, but his teacher had taken it off (I guess to make it easier for him to walk around). We tried to get a picture of him against the awesome backdrop, but there were too many people mingling about (as you can see).
So we settled for a hug and kiss, instead.

A friend of ours (who is the mommy to the 'bird' you see in the bottom 2 pictures) took a video of the performence, so we will get to watch it again, one day, I hope!

Can you spot ihsan in this picture?

here's a close up to help you..

Look at him beam :D

Too many people!! Come here and give me a kiss instead..

F1 B@hrain

What a race!!
Looks like it's anybody's race this year.
I am really really really glad that Schumy managed to go to the podium yesterday. He looked so happy. I was of course rooting for him to overtake Alonso, but what the hey.. considering last year's performence, 2nd place in the season opener is good enough for me (and apparently for him).
And what about Kimi?? Damn.. Can you imagine where he'd be if he had not started in the last place on the grid? The iceman is smokin'! The car is totally wicked looking too!
And just like the commentators, I was extremely impressed by Rosberg. He is one aggressive driver, and seem to know what he's doing. An eyecatching debut, indeed. Can't wait to see how he performs in the rest of the season.

I watched the race on TV, but Taufik got to go to Sh@kir,B@hrain and watch the race live.
He said when he heard there was an airshow, he thought it'd be F16s or something ... damn was he suprised to see Boeing 777s instead! I thought he was joking when he called me, but just as we were talking, they showed it on TV and we both went "gilllerrrrr lah!" (That's crazy!).

There weren't that many people at the circuit. I think it's mainly coz Sunday is a working day in Bahr@in and S@udi (Taufik went with his boss coz they had to 'bring clients' *grin*). Taufik said there were many empty seats and the surrounding hills were empty, unlike in Sepang where every available inch would be covered by people.
I'd rather not go to watch the race live, because I prefer to watch it on the telly, in the comforts of my own home, on my couch. I could get up and get me a plate of maggi goreng or something anytime I want..
Furthermore, the view you get on TV is much better than on the track.
But I would like to watch it live, at least once in my life. Just so that I could say "been there, done that" :)
But if I get to choose any circuit, I'd prolly choose Imola, or the one in Germany.

Next week: Sepang , Malaysia!!
Any of you guys going?

Welcome to the world, baby Aliff!

Announcing, the arrival of Baby Alif at 3.1kg, on 10th March 2006, sometime in the early morning in Seattle, Washington, U.S.A.
(yes, Alif has the same birthday as his Pak Long a.k.a. Dada a.k.a. Abang Ichai)

ahhh.... there's nothing like the arrival of a niece or nephew to make you feel like a makcik (auntie). You gush. Even though the baby is not even physically near you, you can smell him.. his hair.. his skin.. his puffy cheeks.

Pictures!! I demand pictures!!
I am sure as soon as my sister can get her hands on a computer, she'll e-mail us some. But I won't post it here, since he's not *my* baby, and I'm not sure how she'd feel about making her baby go public on the cyberworld. She doesnt even post her own picture, so I don't think she'd wanna post her baby's picture.. but then again, motherhood may change her.
but I digress..

Wow. Come to think of it, now ALL of my siblings have children (siblings from the same mom, I mean). And this is like the 10th Cucu Kustamang!
Can't wait for the first Eid-ul-Fitri that we all get to spend together. Even now it's almost like a Taska at recess... can't imagine what it'd be like. But knowing the parents, Alif will probably be very well-behaved. And a fan of Pearl Jam.

I wonder if the mommy will be singing PJ as lullabies. Or Coldplay.
I sang Wishlist and Elderly Woman. Sometimes Black (but not so often, coz it has the tendency to make me cry). Sometimes Breath.

oh man.. I still can't believe my little sister is a mommy.
tee hee!

Dah jadi mak orang dah kau...

Ihsan's Artwork

I think Ihsan has got a talent in capturing the essence of the shape of things.
Check out his picture of samurai jack.. you look at it, and you *know* it's jack, right?
He likes to draw, but he doesnt get as much computer time as Ilham does, and sometimes when he does get his time on the computer, he would rather play computer games at the cartoon network website.
But when he does get to draw, he'd draw up gems like these..








I don't think I need to put labels on these pictures.. :)

AI 2006 Top 12

:(
I can't believe they voted Ayla out.. !
I know zan already said that Ayla was going today, but then I had to watch it myself to believe it. and I still don't believe it.
I expected Will and Gedeon and Kinnick, but Ayla..
aw man..
I actually cried when I saw her cry.

But I also got excited and went "Bo, Bo . I see Bo!" whenever they showed Bo Bice in the audience..
heh heh


;)

Tazkirah Hari Jumaat (Friday Reminder) a.k.a Life is Short

I was snuggling with Anis on the bed early Wednesday morning after the boys had left for school when Taufik's mobile phone rang. I saw him rush out of the bathroom in his towel to answer the phone and he was grumbling something like "Siapalah call pagi2 ni, time time gini baru nak call" (Who in the world calls this early in the morning, they sure know great timing).
He stepped out of the room but I could still hear his conversation
"Hello?"
"Ya, saya, wa'alaikumsalam..." (Yes, it's me) Okay, it's a melayu, not some arab guy asking for bits or something.. so prolly not a business call
"hah?!! Bakar? Biar betul..." (What? Bakar? You're kidding..)
"Bakar Burn? Aku baru hantar email kat dia last week" (You mean Bakar a.k.a Burn? I just sent him an email last week)
"Macamana dia pass away?" (How did he pass away?) I was on high alert. Passed away? Who passed away??
"Okay okay .. thanx for telling me" and he ended the conversation.

"What was it?" I asked
"Burn, the guy from we@therf0rd (sp?) .. he collapsed, and then passed away" Taufik explained.
"Inalillah-hi-wa-inna-hi-ro-ji-uun.." (From Allah we came, and to Him we shall return)
After that it was a few calls to a few of his other friends, trying to find out what happened.

Burn was one of his friends from when he was working in KL. They used to hang out all the time, having breakfast with the rest of the contractors who have morning meetings with the drilling folks in Petron@s , ocassionally playing golf together.. I've met him and his family once or twice, during birthday parties and other makan-makan (eating) gatherings. I can't quite remember exactly what he or his wife looks like, but I remember that his kids are about the same age as mine.

From what we've gathered so far, he was at his office in Dubai (he's been there for a month, he just got promoted to Area Manager located in Tehr@n and was about to go back home to settle the visas for his family this weekend). He collapsed, they called the ambulance, and he passed away in the ambulance on the way to the hospital.

Taufik's friends who were in KL were the ones who had to go to his house and tell his wife. The wife collapsed several times during the visit. One of the friends (a lady) remarked that she had cried so much during the task, and after, that she had no more tears to cry. He was their friend, their 'gang'. He was roughly the same age as all of them, perhaps only slightly younger.

I can imagine the grief of losing a friend.. but I can't imagine the grief of losing a husband. Especially when the last time you saw him was a month ago, and especially when you were expecting him to return in just a few more days.

Taufik has been in like a daze eversince he heard the news. Friends have been calling him, he has been calling friends. I could see that he was quite affected by the news.
For the past few days there has been snippets of conversations between us about the death.
How the wife is going to cope (which then steered to how one of us were going to cope without the other, but it falls heavier on me if I were to lose him, since I ahve quit my job and he's the sole breadwinner. We have insurance and savings, by the way, and most of our loans are almost paid off, so we think we're okay).
How short life is, how we don't know what's going to happen (Which then steered to what do we wanna do before we die? Do our Hajj or at least Umrah .. )
How he died alone, without his family around him (Taufik is like really really worried about that .. He is really glad that he can see us everyday, but I think he also misses his family).
How we're so not ready to handle death.

Do you think you're ready?
I don't think I am...
but I sure hell am gonna work on it. Insya-Allah.

p/s sorry for such a morbid post.

AI 2006 Final 8 guys

Gedeon - I thought he sang better than he did last two weeks, but somehow I think Gedeon is the male equivalent of Kinnick. Somehow I don't detect a lot of feeling from him. .. and "Music makes the world go round"??? Can you spell c.o.r.n.y?

Chris - I wish he'd show more range. I was hopping he'd sing something more mellow and something that shows his vocal prowess instead of just his vocal powers. But I see his strategy though. I think he's trying to keep the votes of the folks who had voted for him for the past two weeks. He's playing it safe and sticking to what he does best. I am looking forward to seeing him tackle other music genres in the coming weeks, something that requires less screaming. I mean Bo's best performences was when he really sang (remember the acapella song?)
(sidenote: Chris looks kinda hot with hair! .. actually Chris-with-hair kinda reminds me of Russell, dunno why..)

Kevin - at first I thought he was being very very predictable for picking Starry Starry Night, something that Josh Groban also sang, but then he pulled it off quite well. His voice was smooth and sounded very mature. He looked extremely adorable and I did really feel like squishing his rosy cheeks but then he blinked that blink and he made me think of Chicken Little again.. I dunno..

Bucky - Oh my god. We have 2 buckies!! It's funny how his brother, who looks almost exactly like him, could look so cute. Maybe coz Rocky shampoos his hair more often? I thought the performence was forgettable though. Like Chris, Bucky is playing it safe, by sticking to music he's comfortable with. Come on Bucky, take a chance!!

Will - erm.. what did he sing again? I didnt understand why Paula thought it was so good. It was okay lah, but not great.

Taylor - I thought he was going to sprain something! Macam nak tergeliat aje nih.. dia and the gedik duo patut get together lah. But I thought Taylor was the only one who really really really performed tonight. You can't help but feel his soul when he sings. He really puts everything he's got. The easter bunny bit was also so cute.

Elliot - was meh tonight. He did the Backstreet Boys' version of Heaven. I prefer it when he tackles more soulful songs that complements his voice. I wish Chris was singing Heaven. Now that would've been much more interesting. Budak ni banyak nya penyakit... diabetic lah, sakit telinga lah..

Ace - errrr... I cringed through the whole performence. Maybe it's coz I don't know the song. But I thought even an unknown song, performed beautifully, would appeal to the first time listener. It did not work for me. His falsetto on top of his nasal voice.. made me think of the chipmunks instead of the jacko.

Who I want to go: Ace, Will or Gedeon.
Who I think will go: Bucky and.. hm.. i dunno .. it's a toss between Will and Gedeon. pak-pak dan mak-mak hitam mesti vote budak tu punya lah kan.. so maybe dia akan stay.. tapi tak tahu lah pulak kan..? Let's just hope that the AI voters can see what a farce Ace the Face is.