Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Mommies are great!

There's an ongoing heated discussion at one of the on-line parenting forums I'm in.
It all started with a survey on how working mothers are coping with their lives. Then suddenly someone asked whether these working mothers feel like all their effort is 'worth it', and added how she is happy that she's not a working mom and hope she ends up in heaven for sacrificing her career for the sake of her family.
wtf.
Well, you can just imagine the slew of replies that came in response to that comment.

You know what, I think mommies are always putting themselves down. What's worse is, there are mommies who put other mommies down.
We're never good enough.
When we're a stay-at-home mommy, we whine about loss of 'elegance' (coz we presumably sit around in our jammies all day long) and loss of sense of self. We dream about strutting about in power suits and high-heeled shoes ordering people around for a change. We dream about not smelling like detergent and sauted onions.
When we're a working mom, we whine about losing touch with our kids and losing that maternal instinct. We dream about lazing at home, watching Oprah. We dream about taking walks with our kids in the middle of the day. We dream about napping. We dream about smelling like baby powder. We dream of whipping up dishes from scratch, and wowing our spouse and children with our magic culinary skills.
It is made worse when there are mommies out there who asks "So who takes care of your children?" when we tell them we work, and then there are those who say "You're just a housewife?" when we tell them we don't work.
We are made to feel guilty when we hire a maid or send kids off to the nursery. We are made to feel 2nd class and unappreciated when we take care of them on our own.

I say, let's put it to rest.
I think as long as you are happy, it doesnt matter if you're spending only 12 hours or 24 hours a day with your kids. You can and will still be a good mommy.
There's no point of being a stay-at-home mommy if you're cranky all the time and screaming at the kids the moment they come home from school and feed them instant noodles (every day).
There's no harm in coming home at 7pm and not being able to cook for the kids yourself, if you are able to show them that they're special and you love them and spend the rest of the day with them.
Like the experts say, it's the quality, not quantity.
And if you do it right, and do it for the sake of raising good citizens that will take care of this earth in the future, you will be rewarded accordingly.
Insya-Allah.

So whatever you do, work or not work, celebrate the fact that you're a mommy who is doing your best to raise your children and family right.

I think maybe that's why I like to blog about my kids. It sorta re-assures me that I am doing some things right, at least. To h*ll with those who thinks i'm boasting. It's my blog afterall, and it's meant to make *me* feel better about myself.

Well, I am hungry for breakfast and I havent showered yet. The kids are watching Johnny Bravo.
*wink*

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