Easy Peasy Summer Coolers

I have updated on Izani's latest progress.
I'm amazed that you guys arent bored yet.

---

It's starting to get really hot here, the temperatures hovering between 37 to 45 degrees Celcius. So I had lotsa excuses to eat ice cream and make smoothies.

Peaches are starting to be in season, so I bought a few the other day and made Peach Almond Crumble. I followed the same recipe for Strawberry Almond Crumble, but since I was using a smaller baking pan, I halved the topping recipe (an added crushed peanuts, coz I had some lying around). Ate the Peach Crumble with a dollop of Vanilla Ice-cream before and after going on our daily walk. ;)



Top, Left: fresh peaches, Right: cut up and mixed with sugar
Bottom, Left: The whole concoction, Right: Served with vanilla ice cream

I also had an extra bag of frozen strawberries from when I made the Strawberry Almond Crumble, so I decided to make strawberry smoothies.
The first one I made turned out almost like a sorbet coz I added only a little bit of water (and sugar, of course). The next one I followed Ilham's suggestion to add some milk and it turned out into a delicious smoothie!

Easy Peasy Strawberry Smoothies

2 handfuls of frozen strawberries (Only defrost for a few minutes at room temp, dont let it go soggy)
water or milk (I used about a quarter to half a cup.. i didnt really measure. Use less to make thicker smoothies)
2 tablespoons of sugar (Adjust to your liking)

Put everything into your blender, smooth using pulse mode. Pour into glasses. Enjoy!

The Sorbet and The Smoothie

Anis thoroughly enjoying a cooling treat

We had to drink/eat ours with a spoon coz they were so thick.

the ps2 plan ...

... BACKFIRED!!!!

Last night before bed i reminded the boys that they were supposed to sleep in their room, since the played with the ps2.
Ilham said "okay, i wont play with it anymore"
"are you sure??" i ask incredulously.
"I can live without it" he said, though not so convincingly.
i looked at Ihsan, "how about you ihsan?"
Ihsan just smiled sheepishly.

i said okay and let them sleep in my room. While they were asleep and I was waiting for The Apprentice, i unplugged the dang thing and stored it in an undisclosed location.
I spent the commercial breaks thinking about how to get the boys to sleep in their own room now that I dont have the PS2 bargaining chip anymore..

So this morning I lovingly told Ilham why he needs to sleep in his own room, that he's a grown up, he needs to learn to be independent, that it does not meen I love him any less, it may even mean i love him even more.
He was like, "uh, okay..", I wasnt sure whether he really comprehended.

After breakfast they came upstairs and realized that the PS2 was really gone.
They came to me pleading "please please please I wll sleep in my own room tonight" and I said they'd have to prove they'd sleep in their room before they could get to play with the PS2.
More pleading and promises and excuses ("It's Ayah, he's the one who wants to play!") later, Taufik got fed up of them bugging him to ask me to take out the PS2, and asked them to promise promise promise they'd sleep in their room from now on and they said they promise promise promise.
So i told them the general location of the PS2 and made them go on a treasure hunt of some sort.
They found it within a minute.
kalau mintak tolong ambik blanket adik, duduk depan mata pun tak jumpa..

So they're now playing with the PS2.
If they don't sleep in their room tonight, I swear, they're gonna get an earful from me!

First day of holiday

Today is the first day of holiday for the boys.
It's actually the last day of school, but since the other two boys from our compound who goes to the same school did not want to go to school, we thought that it'd be better if our boys didnt go to school as well, coz then then bus wont have to waste time and fuel to send and pick up only 2 boys. Plus today was a half-day, class ends at 11:30am today.

Ihsan woke up at 6:30am as usual and the first thing he did was turn on the TV. I heard Taufik woke up to talk to Ihsan and the next thing I heard was the theme song for Sonic Heroes.. he had set-up the PS2.
I told Taufik to have Ihsan brush his teeth, shower and have breakfast first before he plays anything, and he obliged.
Ilham then woke up, and I gave him the same instructions. No PS2 until he has brushed his teeth, showered and had his breakfast.
They know not to mess with me, coz I have clearly warned them yesterday that I will not hesitate to take away the PS2 if they misbehave..
heh heh..
I decided to add another rule this morning, when I was tidying up my bedroom.
I told Ilham that in exchange for them getting to play PS2, they'd have to sleep in their own room.
heh heh
am i cruel?
ah... what the heck, I dont care if I sound cruel.. I'd do anything to get them sleep in their own room. Right now I have the PS2 card to bargain with, dammit, I'll use it.
At around 10am they had a chat with their cousins Adam, Aiysha and Aliya (mokciknab's kids), and I put izani to sleep and then went to do dishes and prepare for lunch and dinner. About an hour later I heard the TV so I had to come upstairs and show Ilham how to give a proper goodbye to Adam, coz he just left Adam hanging online..

It's kinda good to have the kids around, at least they can look after Izani while I prepare lunch.
By popular request, I made porridge today, and since I had some leftover ayam masak kicap (chicken in soysauce), I also made cashew chicken.. yum yum.

I only remembered to take a picture after I've taken a few bites...


I still have to draw up a schedule for the kids.. this time I want to add a session for Quran lessons (tajweed and hafazan) (I am more confident to teach them now, since I've had lessons myself), and proper times for solat (I didnt put that in the last time, but encouraged them to join me when I performed mine, which I performed.. urm.. anytime I please.. *shame*).
I think it's gonna be tougher on me this time around coz I have izani around.. we might have to do a lot of ad-hoc re-scheduling since my time revolves around Izani nowadays..
I'm still gonna have them do reading, arts&crafts and cooking sessions though. And I also have to squeeze in some time for bonda to blog.. (I also need some 'me' time what.....???)

Any other tips or suggestions?
Wish me luck!

DBGS Summer Concerts

okay I didnt post this earlier coz I thought the pictures were terrible.
But then I heard what happened to lollies at her son's concert, and thought maybe I could make her feel better.

Ihsan and Ilham had their Summer Concert on the 4th and 8th of June respectively. We came early for both concerts because we came with Izani and wanted a spot where we could park the stroller and not be in people's way. Plus, we wanted to get strategic seats so that we could take pictures.
Unfortunately there were other parents who are more kiasu than us, who had arrived waaaay much earlier and had taken the front seats. So we still ended up sitting behind people.
In each of the concerts, our child's stage time was maybe about only 5 minutes. For Ihsan's concert, which was held early in the morning, we stayed for the whole thing because it was comfortable enough to do so and also because kids between the ages of 4 to 7 are so cute to watch! For Ilham's concert, however, we waited till it was Ilham's class' turn and we left right after coz they held it at 1pm (it was hot hot hot) and the older kids were not that much fun to watch anyways.
Since there were so many people, the pictures that we managed to capture weren't really of boasting quality..


Ihsan's class sang 3 songs, with actions which were so cute. "Little Red Caboose" had a little train action going. "On a Log" had them imitating a frog, a snake, a bee and a goat. Then they did a little hand jive thingy with "Knick-Knack Paddywack".
Ihsan gave a shy smile when he saw us, and I couldnt hear his voice in spite of us reminding him to open up his mouth as wide as he could and sing as loud as he could during breakfast that morning.


Ilham's class sang 2 songs. The first one was "Ebeneezer Sneezer", which was kinda funny and Ilham had a hard time pronouncing Ebeneezer Sneezer so everytime the chorus came, he kept trailing behind. The second song was "There's a Little Wheel that's turning in my heart", which was such a cute song and Ilham sang so loud that we instantly picked up his voice. We were so proud of him because the last time he sang on stage, we couldnt hear him at all.

From attending the kids' concerts in the past year, what I picked up was that they sing the songs that they had learnt in Music class throughout the term, so basically they're singing songs that I had heard them sing in the shower several times before. It's nothing new, it's just a way for them to show parents what they have managed to learn so far.
I have also learnt that concert pictures are never ever clear. They're always blurry and your kid's face is but a tiny speck in a crowd of faces.

So Lollies, don't feel bad.. you can ask Haziq to give you a private concert at home..! :)

*knock knock*

*knock knock*

helllloooooo......
anybody home?

Memoirs of a Geisha

Before I start, just wanted to announce that I have updated Izani's blog with the latest post: Sibling Smooches.

---

I borrowed this book from Sharlee, and read it while breastfeeding Izani. It took me about a week to finish reading it.

I thought the book was beautifully written. The language used is simple and not too bombastic, and I like the way it sounded like a woman was telling the story.
I absolutely loved the descriptions of the sceneries, the smells and sounds of the okiya and the teahouses, and of course the kimonos.. oh the kimonos..! It made me want to own one!
The story was quite intriguing. I kept on reading, wanting to know what happens to Chiyo/Sayuri next. I thought the author fleshed out his characters well. Chiyo was not potrayed as a simple, good girl, victim character, but she also had a stubborn and mean streak in her. I did however, grew tired with her obsession with The Chairman, and thought the ending was too common, like the ones you would find in every Mills&Boons book. I felt sorta cheated, like the book was actually really a Mills&Boons disguising itself underneath all the silk and cherry blossoms and complicated Japanese traditions.
I also found some of the things that geisha's go through quite appaling, especially about mizuage, selling a little girl's virginity to the highest bidder (it's borderline paed0philia!) and then danna, selling a woman's physical loyalty, also to the highest bidder. Just because all these are glamorized by the donning of expensive kimonos, hairdos, make-ups and strict procedures, the world considers it 'cultured', but the covering of a woman's hair using a simple veil is considered 'oppresive'. What double standards!

After reading this book, I found myself trying to do things more elegantly , imagining myself wearing a kimono and serving my husband in a teahouse.
The other day I had to put on my batik sarong because Izani peed on my last pair of clean pants and I found myself admiring the bold colorful prints and felt kinda .. hm.. feminine in it, almost like a geisha. And I subconciously try to walk and talk more softly and gently..
damn.. this book is evil, i tell you.

I'm want to watch the movie, just to see the splendid images.
rotidua: cue for u and firhad to look for this DVD.

Easy Peasy Strawberry Almond Crumble

The original recipe I followed was for Apple&Blackberry Crumble, which I got from thecookbook that the boys' school's Parent Volunteer Group compiled (and I contributed 2 recipes to) and sold.

I don't really like apples and I couldnt find blackberries so I decided to use strawberries instead. There weren't any fresh ones (Plus fresh ones are a bit expensive) so I used frozen ones instead (only SR5.20 per kilo).
I also didnt want a plain crumble topping, so I decided to add some almonds into the topping to give it a bit of an edge.

Easy Peasy Strawberry Almond Crumble

500g fresh strawberries sliced or cut into small pieces(or any kinds of berries/fruits you like, I used 1kg of frozen strawberries, reduced to 500g after defrosting*)
100g castor sugar

150g flour (i used plain white, self raising flour)
100g finely ground almonds (either buy them ready ground ones or just put some almonds thru your spice mill)
half teaspoon baking powder
100g unsalted butter
100g brown sugar
a handful of roughly chopped almonds (optional)

Pre-heat your oven to 375deg Farenhite.
For filling: Mix the strawberries with castor sugar thoroughly. Taste and add more sugar if necessary (coz some strawberries are more sour than others). Spoon into a 1.7L baking dish.
For crumble topping: Mix flour, ground almonds and baking powder thoroughly in a huge bowl. Rub in butter (with your fingers) to form fine breadcrumb-like mix. Carefully stir in brown sugar and chopped almonds.
Sprinkle crumble topping over the filling till it is completely covered.
Bake for 30-40 minutes till the top is golden brown. Set aside to cool before serving.

* Note: Since I used frozen strawberries, I had to defrost them first and they turned out to be quite soggy. In an attempt to reduce the sogginess, I decided to cook the filling over medium heat. When that didnt work too well, I added 2 teaspoons of corn flour to thicken it. It turned out okay. If you use fresh fruit, you do not need to cook them first. I think at least it'd retain its 'crunchiness'

This was served on its own or with a choice of vanilla ice-cream or whipped cream. YUMMEH!
The topping was nutty and crunchy and crumbly and buttery with just a slight sweetness, while the filling was fruity sweet and tangy and really soft.



Happy trying!

busy busy bee

okay I can't write much today coz I've got lotsa things to do.

1. I just updated Izani's blog: "Grandad Loves Me"
2. I have to cook lunch coz Taufik's coming home for lunch. I made kari telur yesterday, so today I'm gonna use the leftover gravy to make mee kari.
3. Taufik is coming home for lunch because right after lunch we're gonna go to the school to watch Ilham's summer concert.
4. Tonight I have a dinner invitation at Shalee's, and I'm in charge of dessert. I'm gonna try my hand at making strawberry almond crumble. sounds yummy? I hope so. if it works well, you know I will post pictures and recipes..

tomorrow is the weekend, I dont know whether I'll be able to blog, so see you whenever I see you :)

what did I do to deserve my kids?

I have been so blessed.. Masya-Allah, Alhamdulillah

I was watching Starting Over while breastfeeding Izani a few days ago when Anis came to me excitedly.
"Bonda, Bonda, come see what I did!" pointing towards the children's bedroom (which they dont sleep in, but has all the 3 kids' stuff in it).
I asked her to wait till izani has finished breastfeeding and she patiently said okay.
When the show was over, I put izani to bed and walked to the children's bedroom, expecting to see a sculpture, or a stack of books (coz Anis loves stacking stuff up), or a completed jugsaw puzzle (the only one we have and therefore the one she always plays with) or maybe a drawing on the computer or something.
To my suprise, she showed me a clean room.
I mean, a really clean room.
There were no clothes on the floor. The towels all neatly hung on the towel rack. The boxes and books neatly stacked on the desk. There wasnt a thing on the carpet of the whole room.
I screamed in delight "Oh thankyou so much, Anis!! That was so nice of you!!"
You should've seen the look of pride on her face when I kissed her.
and for the next few days, that was all I would hear about. How she cleaned the room all by herself.

---

Yesterday I was bit stressed out coz Izani didnt want to take a nap and all he wanted was someone to hold him all the time. It was Monday and that usually means I have to get dinner ready early coz Taufik had tajweed classes at 7:30pm. Furthermore Tajweed classes means I have to make something and I had wanted to make creme caramel. On top of that, there was a stack of dishes sitting in the sink since morning.
So I was like going back and fourth between the kitchen and the bedroom, doing stuff halfway, having to turn off the stove everytime I had to go see what Izani wants, and finally I brought Izani downstairs and put him in the carseat in the kitchen while I cook.
Izani still wouldnt settle down and the boys came back from playing in the park and Ihsan wanted to learn to rollerblade using his dad's rollerblades, which was of course to big for him and got me all agitated coz I started imagining him falling down and twisting his ankle. and my goreng pisang was burnt black!!
Somehow it got too much that I made the boys go upstairs watch TV and I sat at the kitchen table with Izani over my shoulder and I cried.
The phone rang and I heard Ilham pick up. From the way he talked, I figured he was talking to his dad.
After he put down the phone he came downstairs to the kitchen. The moment he saw me in tears, he stopped in his tracks.
He then proceeded cautiously and said "Um.. Bonda.."
I said "yes..."
He looked kinda nervous when he said "Um.. Bonda.. Ayah said his arabic class is cancelled today, so we can eat whatever you've made"
I said "okay".
Ilham sat down and looked at me quietly for a while.
"Bonda, what's wrong?" he finally asked.
"Nothing," I said, "I'm just tired".
"Oh" he said and twiddled his fingers.
I sniffled a bit and patted Izani who was finally going to sleep.
We sat in silence for a while.
Then suddenly Ilham decided to get up, walk to the sink and wash the dishes.
I put Izani back in the carseat, continued frying goreng pisang, checked on my creme caramel in the oven, then marinated the chicken for dinner.
I gave Ilham a hug and said "Thankyou so much, sayang" when he was done with the dishes.

---

Ihsan helps with arranging the shoes at our front door, but there's no interesting way to tell that story, so I'll tell another one about him.

We were having dinner and discussing about how everyone's day went. Taufik asked Ihsan what he did for Show and Tell and Ihsan said he showed a picture of Taufik and I when we were in Chicago. (it's a picture of Taufik and I on the shores of Lake Michigan with the Chicago skyline behind us)
Ihsan said
"I said, This is my father and mother.
Mrs. Snieder asked, where were they?
and I said they were in Chicago.
Mrs Snieder asked where is Chicago and I said I dont know
then everybody said where Chicago is (meaning everybody started guessing where Chicago is)
then Mrs Snieder said it is in Americ@.
Then I said my father did not meet Oprah when he was in Chicago
and Mrs Snieder laughed."

We had a good laugh about that.

---

I should remember this when I'm nagging and screaming at them.

I believe I can fly

Last night I had the most exhilarating dream.
I dont know about other people, but I have this ability to tell myself I'm dreaming. Sometimes I can even detect a dream within a dream, like you're dreaming that you're asleep and dreaming another dream.
Last night I was fading in and out of wakefulness because I was coughing and also breastfeeding Izani on and off.
But at one point in the night, I dreamt that I was dreaming and at first I was chased by some evil guy who was shooting at me and I was running away in a box-cart (don't ask me why) and I was watching the road turn from asphalt to gravel to dirt to grass then back to asphalt to gravel to dirt to grass.. like the revolving background of a cartoon where the animators were too lazy to bother with details or think the audience won't notice.
I think I got shot or something coz suddenly everything stopped and I was looking at this serene lake with white cranes on it and the cranes started to fly off into the sky and as they did, i felt my soul soar with them.
And I mean i felt it really soar, like something tugging at my chest and sucking the air out of my lungs and throat. and I remember in my dream telling my sleeping self to clutch at my chest and my dream sleeping self did, but I don't know whether I really did.
Anyways, so I started soaring and flying over the trees and houses and I could see streets and rooftops and playgrounds and hills (funnily enough, it looked like PJ). And I remember feeling so elated and exhilirated that I thought hey i've got to remember this and write about it.
But i thought I needed proof (that it realy happened, coz I actually believed my soul was flying) so i reached out my hand at a passing tree and grabbed one of it's tender twigs. It tugged back at first, but then it soon released itself from the rest of the tree and I could smell the bitter sap and notice it had tiny white flowers and oval shaped leaves on them.
I braced myself for a sharp fall, but amazingly i didnt fall sharply. I sorta landed in a swoop, almost like a bird, into a wooden house, in which I woke up, with no twig in hand and a small kid (Anis) tugging at my arm asking me to bring her somewhere.
We were crossing the street when I told myself I should look at the signs to identify where I was so that I'd know it if I saw it again (coz, like i said, I really belive my soul was travelling) and I saw this sign: "SMK Pendang", and I actually said it outloud to Anis, "Sekolah Menengah Kebangsaan Pendang?", as we zig zagged through park cars.
Then I can't remember what happened in the dream.

Next time I come home and we drive back to Alor Setar, I'll ask Taufik to drive me to Pendang.

---

In other news, this morning I bopped about the room to Pearl jam's World Wide Suicide with Izani on my shoulder, and he seemed to like it :)

Fishy cooking

For a change, this is not a true culinary jam post.
Meaning, I won't be the one giving out recipes and cooking tips.
(I am not a true goddess after all.. but I am still a goddess.. a fake one, but still a goddess!!)
(by the way, this reminds me of the start of Neil G@iman's Americ@n G0ds .. if you've read it, you'd know what I mean.. that goddess that swallows guys through her .. you know what)

I digress.

Yesterday Taufik bought a few huge ikan kembung (fish. don't know what it's called in english. nice fish.). I deep fried 2 yesterday (garam kunyit, seasoned with salt and tumeric), so today I decided to do something different, something that I've never tried before but like very much.
I decided to make ikan belah belakang (slice the back of the fish and stuff it with paste made of ground shallots+chillies+tamarind juice), because the fish is big enough for this method.
I seasoned the outside of the fish with salt and turmeric, and decided to deep fry it, coz I read in one of the recipes on the net that I could deep fry it.
Bad Idea.
The paste started falling out of the fish, and got fried in the hot oil. It later burnt and turned the oil and my fish black. and my kitchen smells too.
In the end I didnt have enough of the paste to go with my fish. I think I didnt make the slit at the back deep enough as well. Coz only the top half of the fish were flavoured with the paste, the bottom half remained quite bland.
It was still yummy though, by my standards.

So my question(s) to you, my dear readers, is(are):
1. How deep should the slit be? I don't want to accidently filet the fish..
2. How do I keep the paste from spilling out while I deep fry it?
3. I don't have a grill, can I pan fry it with just a little bit of oil? Will that work?
4. How else can I cook it? Can I wrap it in foil and chuck it in the oven? (Temperature? for how long?) (No banana leaves, please. They're damn expensive over here) and how do I avoid it from getting watery (coz the steam gets trapped in the foil).

Appreciate your suggestions!
If your tip works, I promise to take pictures and post the successful result here!

Why so short?

Coz I'm sick... :(

I have a horrible throat infection. Which made it difficult for me to sleep last night. I went to see my gynae and she checked it out, and prescribed me antibiotics and this horrid brown liquid to gargle with.

I had just updated on Izani's Progress.
and since many people have been asking me when I'm going to come home, I'll write a bit about that as well.

Okay, the situation is this:

1. We just applied for Izani's passport 2 weeks ago (was it 2 weeks? or 3? nevermind). It usually takes 3 months for his passport to be ready. After we get the baby's passport, we need to include him into Taufik's iqama (work permit). Only after the baby is included in the work permit can we apply for a multiple entry visa for him. So till he gets his passport, I will not be able to go aaanywhere. Not even to Bahr@in. Do u think we'll get everything ready by July? You do the math.

2. We booked tickets for a flight home on July 22nd. That booking has been confirmed, but the flight back to Bahr@in has not been confirmed. Summer is like the peak season for travelling in the Ar@b countries, and as both S@udis and M@laysians will attest, these people will flock KLCC, Sunw@y Lagoon, Langk@wi, Pen@ng and Melak@ during the summer holidays. Do u think we'll get flight tickets? We doubt it.

3. They just announced an increase in flight tarrifs. bummer. Put that on top of it being peak travelling season, double bummer. A friend who wanted to holiday in scotland discovered that it was cheaper to fly from KLIA to Glasgow than from B@hrain to Glasgow, even though she's already halfway there in terms of distance.

So I think it is safe to say that we won't be able to go home till december.
*sigh*
Once Izani gets his passport however, we might take a short vacation somewhere somewhere.. Maybe even drive to Q@tar, since gas only costs 60 halallas(cents) per litre. Boleh tak, Lollies?

Just Playing

Izani

I think Izani can see now, coz he's smiling! (at you, as opposed to just smiling right before he belches)
This morning he was making complaining noises and I tested him to see if he wanted milk (put my knuckle on his cheek, if he turns to grab it with his mouth, he's hungry), and he did, so I propped him up on my pillow while I went to make milk.
When I got back, I saw him looking at me intently and curiously.
I greeted him with an excited "Hello, baby!" and gave him my biggest smile.
and he smiled back!!
yay!!
(sorry, no pictures.. I think the camera is in Taufik's car)

So today I had fun playing making faces with him. Just sitting face to face and trying to extract a smile or an expression. He smiled and 'laughed' (wide open smile that shows his gums) several times, but there were also confused, cross-eyed looks.
All babies are cross-eyed at first, right?

---

Anis

We were playing a spelling game last night (as usual, at the dinner table). Taufik would give a word for Ihsan to spell and I'd give a word for Ilham to spell.
Anis pun nak menyebok, she wanted to join in, so she started saying "my turn, my turn!" so I gave her something I knew she could spell, which was her name, and she proudly spelled it.
Then she said "my turn, my turn" again, and this time she wanted to give the word, and she said "How to spell 'Monda'?"
and Ihsan started spelling, "M. O. .."
"No!!" Anis said,"it's B, Abam" (Abam='Abang', big brother)
"But you said 'Monda' ..." Ihsan protested, "that is spelled with an M"
"I said Bonda" she corrected, which Ihsan then spelled correctly.

Anis also likes to imitate Twinkle from Higglytown Heroes .. she'd go "Oh I know, I know!"
The only thing she doesnt do is go "aw.. pickles!"

---

Ihsan

This is Ihsan's new favourite song:

5 little monkeys, jumping on the bed
one fell off and hurt his head
mom called the doctor and the doctor said..
"No more monkeys jumping on the bed!"

4 little monkeys, jumping on the bed
one fell off and hurt his head
mom called the doctor and the doctor said..
"No more monkeys jumping on the bed!"

.
.
.

1 little monkey, jumping on the bed
one fell off and hurt his head
mom called the doctor and the doctor said..
"Send the monkeys off to bed!"

I think he learnt it from Bear (In the Big Blue House, not diah's bear)

---

Ilham

Ilham is still trying to get a hang of rollerblading. He still falls down sometimes. When we go out on our walks, sometimes he gets tired and would whine for one of his siblings to come and tow him.
It looks kinda fun, really. Ilham would hold on to Ihsan's shoulders and Ihsan would walk or run, whichever seems exciting at the moment.
Sometimes Anis would tow Ilham, and she would do it with neighing sounds and she would do a little trot.
There's a particular bit of the compound that the kids like. It has a slight hill. Ihsan would patiently tow his brother up the hill, then as they reach the peak, he would watch out for traffic. He'd ask his brother "ready?" and without waiting for an answer, he would run down the hill. Both of them would scream "Rollercoaster!!!!" with glee till they reach the bottom of the 'hill' and cross to the other side to the road. Anis would run and scream along.
They'd do that till Taufik and I have caught up with them and told them it's time to move on.

---

ah.. the simple pleasures of childhood..

Baby Boom, Unexpected Reunions and Baby Sitting

Baby Boom

I don't know if it's something in the water, or it's the weather, or what, but most of the M'sian ladies who recently located here are/were expecting.
I just gave birth 6 weeks ago, and day before yesterday one of the other ladies gave birth to a baby girl. There's this lady who just moved from Q@tar who's due in August. We found out 2 months ago that 2 other ladies are expecting. And I just found out last week that the lady who leads and guides us in our weekly Quran recital sessions is also expecting!
(Gee, maybe it's a sign for you!)
Izani's going to have lotsa friends to play with :)

---

Unexpected Reunions

I had two unexpected reunions with old acquaintences in the past few days.

I was transferring my fictional jam from m0dblog to here and discovered that 11 months ago, Kak Su, my roomate when I was in UIUC, had left a comment on one of my posts asking me whether I was who I was. She left an email address, so I emailed her back, half expecting to discover that the address has expired or become inactive due to my lateness in replying. I was glad to instead, get a reply from her on the very next day!! Woo hoo!!

And today, I got an email from Jagung, my roomate when I was 17 in EmmaRessEmm Kuantan (actually, we've been good friends since we exchanged eyebrow-raising across the dorm building the 2nd day I entered the boarding school. We were good together,"Jagung and Joe"). She somehow found me through g00gle or something, and then got my email address from dory (thanx, luv). I was so excited when I saw her name in my Inbox. I sent her a huge hug via email coz I have missed her so much. So we're now catching up.

In both of the emails, we updated on what's going on in our lives and what we've become. Kak Su works in IT, and Jagung is working as an editor for a publisher. It amazes me how we have ambitions and for some reason life steers us in different paths. I told Kak su how my friend in UIUC is now a Professor and i'm.. well, a housewife. Jagung would be the last person I thought would be an editor coz she had so wanted to be a gynae when we were in school. I think people were expecting me to be an editor or writer of some sorts.
But as I told Kak Su, different people are blessed in different ways. I may not have achieved fame for my engineering feats but when I look at my children's faces, I do feel a sense of achievement, and fullfilment. I am sure Kak su and Jagung find their satisfaction and fullfilment in different ways too, ways that I may be lacking in. :)

I am looking forward to renewing my ties with them! :D :D

---

Baby Sitting



I'm in a dillema about letting my older kids babysit Izani.
Even though I appreciate the assistance, I worry because they get too courageous and adventurous with the baby sometimes.
I don't ask them to carry the baby around, coz I know for sure they can't do that, so usually I just ask them to watch him, make sure the baby don't roll over and off the couch or bed or something and to call me if Izani wakes up and start to wail.
But they insist on picking him up, without my knowledge!

The other day I heard Izani cry while I was in the shower, and when I came out, Anis has him lying on her tummy (on the bed) and she was rolling and rocking left and right and saying "baby gemuk, it's okay its okay" (gemuk=fat). I wanted to scream in fright coz she might roll over on top of him, but I caught myself (coz I don't want to completely scare her off looking after her baby brother .. tee hee). So I told her sternly that next time she should not pick up her brother but should call me, because Izani *is* gemuk and would be too heavy for her.
She said okay, but the next time she outran me and got to the baby before I did, she had almost got off the bed with him. Oh horrors!!

Ihsan is a little more careful with the baby. He would only have Izani if he was sitting up on the couch, and the baby is lying across his lap. Even then, he would hold the baby tight (coz I told him to). Sometimes he'd ask to let him feed Izani and even though I taught him to not force the bottle and to take it out if Izani starts coughing or choking, I still don't dare to leave him alone with the baby.

Ilham would be the most adventurous. The other day I had left Izani downstairs in the car seat coz he was still asleep and I went upstairs to change, and when I came out of my room, Ilham had brought Izani upstairs (still in the carseat though). I don't dare imagine what would've happened if Ilham had tripped on the stairs with the heavy carseat.

All this is on top of the numerous cuddling, smooching, smothering and hugging that Izani gets from his 3 elder siblings, almost around the clock, until i shoo them away coz the baby needs his sleep.
I am proud that the older ones love the baby so much that they want to constantly take care of it, but sometimes I want them to keep a distance, for safety reasons.
I found that the only time they'd be scampering away from the baby is when he had pooped a huge pile and needs to be changed!

heads up

writing that story yesterday made me wanna archive my old stuff from m0dblog to here.
I don't know whether you'll get alerts, but if you do, and suddenly find yourself reading something you've read before, you know what's going on.

go read on izani. I'll be updating that in a few .. urm.. hours.. heh heh

-elisa

Rearviewmirror

Tina parked her car in her mother's driveway and decided to sit in it for awhile before stepping out and walking into the house.
She takes a deep breath to gather courage.
I can do this, she thought.
I think I've put up with this for long enough. They should hear me out. They should listen to me for a change. I'm sick of being the scared one.
She told herself, while checking out her eyes in the rear view mirror. The traces of redness and puffiness were no longer there.
She caught a glimpse of her mother's potted plants in the reflection. The bright, strong colours shining back at her. What a contrast to her pale skin.

When she stepped into the house, the smell of freshly baked muffins and the tinkling of the brass bells that her mom installed on the front door welcomed her.
"Tina, is that you?? We're all in the kitchen" she heard her sister called out.
She walked towards the back of the house, shedding her scarve along the way.
Her mother and her sister, Lily, was sitting at the kitchen table with a coffee mug each.
"What took you so long? I thought I heard your car drive up almost 10 minutes ago" her mom asked.
She took a mug from the mug tree sitting on her mom's counter top while she tried to come up with an answer.
"I.. uhm.. I forgot to put on my lipstick" she managed to lie while pouring herself some coffee, and flashed her mom a sheepish grin.

"Okay, now that you're here, let's get down to business" Lily said, putting down the muffin she was nibbling on.
Tina sat next to Lily and glanced at the notepad that her sister was scribbling on.
"So, we've decided we should do the party next-next Sunday, which is the 15th. Can you make yourself free?" Lily asked.
"Sure" Tina answered, slowly sipping the coffee while stealing a look at the guest list.
They discussed the menu and argued over what should be served with the lamb soup, rice or just bread rolls. Tina didn't even remember what was decided. She was distracted by the guest list.

"Set then. Can you call the caterer? I mean, since you know them better than I do.. Mom and I will handle calling up the relatives to invite them." Lily finally said.
Mom stood up to wash her mug and Tina decided to say something before she leaves the table.
"Uhm.. about the relatives.. will you .. will you be inviting him?" She hesitantly asked.
"him? who?" Tina's mother feigned ignorance.
"you know.. " Tina won't even say his name.
"Oh, of course." Mom says, and started to walk away. "It would be awkward if we didn't. You don't mind do you?"
"Actually, mom, I do mind" Tina said, trying not to look at her mother and betray her dissapointment that they still did not get it.

"but honey, what would people say? How would he feel if he knew he was the only one not invited?" Mom argued.
Lily just sat there, looking at Tina wide-eyed, but with a blank expression that says i'm not getting into this.
"What about how I feel about him being there, mom? Doesn't that count?" Tina tries hard to control her tone of voice. She has to stay strong. She cannot shake.
"Well," Mom acts a bit flustered, not knowing where to put her mug. "Your feelings do matter, love, but you've been okay with him being around before.."
"That's the problem. I was always the one who has to give in, who has to endure, who has to do the dodging and avoiding. I'm tired mom. I won't do it anymore." Tina's voice raised a note.
There was an awkward silence. Lily let out a gentle cough.

"It's either me or him, mom. If you invite him, then I won't come." Tina said finally.
"Honey, that's unreasonable." Mom sighed and finally put her mug in the kitchen sink. "Can't we just forgive and forget?"
"Forgive and forget???" Tina started to sound abit hysterical, but she collected herself. "No mom, even if I can forgive, I can never forget what he did to me. Besides, he never ever did come to me to apologize or say anything. He's acting as if nothing ever happened and that it doesnt affect him. But it affects me, mom. It affects me a lot." Tina tries to make her mom understand.
"Don't you think you're over-reacting though, Tina?" Mom says in the calmest voice she could muster, " I mean, it happened so long ago. And anyways it's not like he raped you or anything". She said it with a shrug, as if trying to let it slide off her.
Tina felt like pulling out her hair.
"The fact that he did it to me when I was so little should make it all the more disgusting. And just because he didnt stick his dick inside me, does not mean that he. did. not. rape. me." Tina tired so hard not to scream, that the words came out through clenched jaws.
Lily gasped and covered her mouth.
"You do not use that language inside my house, young lady" Mom glared from behind the kitchen counter. Tina pictured her mother wringing the dish towel she was using to wipe dry the mug she was holding a minute ago.

Tina buried her face in her hands.
"I just don't want him to be around me, mom" Tina sighed "And I'm tired of running away. I was hoping that you, of all people, would understand, or at least, agree and support me".
Mom put her mug back on the mug-tree in silence. Lily stood up from the table and brought her mug to the kitchen sink and started to wash it. Tina just sat there at the table. Waiting. Waiting for someone to understand.
Tina feels like giving up. Perhaps she should just accept whatever is being dished out to her. That is certainly much easier than having to go through this.

"Okay." her mom sat back down at the table.
Tina looked up to face her mom.
"If it makes you feel better, I won't invite him" Mom said, "but what will I say when the others ask why?" her eyes challenged her daughter.
"Tell them the truth." Tina said bravely.
Mom shook her head.
"Then tell them to ask me." Tina said courageously, feeling like she's finally climbed the hardest part of the mountain. "Then I'll tell them the truth"
Her mom looked at her doubtingly "Wouldn't you feel ashamed?"
"You know what mom, I think it's high time I stopped feeling ashamed" Tina tapped the table for effect. "It's high time that he should be the one who is shamed for what he did. I should stop being scared of meeting him. He should be scared of meeting me. I should stop worrying about who knows my secret. He should start worrying about who knows about the secret he made me keep all the years. I should stop shrinking. I should.. I want to start to shine again."
For the first time since the conversation started, Tina saw Lily, who was behind the kitchen counter, smile and look at her with pride.

Two weeks later, they were back in the kitchen. This time it was filled with the aroma of spices wafting out of the huge pot of lamb soup. Lily was ladeling soup into large tureens. Tina was piling bread rolls in a cotton-lined basket, while Mom was busy chatting with guests outside.
Tina was setting the bread basket on the buffet table when she saw the car pulling in to park at the roadside in front of the house.
Her heart sank.
She turned and looked for her mother.
She finally found her mother in the kitchen, listening to her aunt rave about the delicious soup and can she have a bowl of it to take home?
"I can't believe you invited him, mom" Tina interrupted.
"Tina, please, honey, I just want you to learn to forgive him" her mother pleaded. Her aunt looked on, slightly confused.
"You still don't get it, mom" Tina said, and went to grab her car keys.
She stormed out of the house, brushed by her tormentor at the front door, and headed for her car.

Lily caught her just as she was backing out of the driveway.
"Tina.." Lily tried to reason through the driver's window, "Please understand.. you're asking her to choose between her brother and you".
Tina stopped the car and looked at Lily.
Lily saw for the first time how much her sister is hurt.
"The thing is, Lily, it's obvious that she already made a choice. She chose him over me." Tina swallowed hard. "Why didn't she choose me?"
Lily let her go.
Tina drove off, watching her mother's house look smaller and smaller in the rear view mirror.

AI 2006: Final 2

Kat was, as usual, stunningly beautiful today, but unfortunately it takes more than perky b00bs to win the competition (in my opinion). I thought her repeat performence of Black Horse Cherry Tree was so-so, and not as spectacular as the first time we saw it. I wasnt suprised that she picked to sing Somewhere Over The Rainbow again, and she did a good job of it. Her downfall, to me, was when she performed My Destiny. She came off really amateurish, and she lost all control of her voice towards the end. I think she was trying too hard to do vocal acrobatics and lost it, like she is wont to do in her previous performences.

Taylor, on the other had, exuded professionalism. Each and every one of his performence was world class. I thought he totally rawked with Leavin For the City, and the only thing lacklustre about Levon was the song (I always found the song a bit boring, I thought he sang it pretty well.). I totally loved Make You Proud. He really outshone Kat then.

Now, I just hope that the voters see that, and not just be bedazzled by Kat's beauty.

Was there a girl in a headscarve in the audience when they showed Ben Stiller?

Easy Peasy Birthday Cake & Kuih Bakar

If you really want to impress your kid, bake him a birthday cake . Doesn't matter if it's a cheat recipe or if it's made from scratch. They can't tell the difference anyways. But make sure he is old enough to appreciate it. I think any kid above 4 years old would notice if you've made something special for him/her.

Easy Peasy Birthday Cake

One box of Betty Crocker Cake Mix (any flavour, but in my house, it's gotta be Chocolate)
Heavy whipping cream (1/2 box)
cream cheese (200gm box)
4 tablespoons of icing sugar (or more if you like it sweeter)
2 tablespoons of chocolate drink powder (Milo, ovaltine, whatever. can be substituted with appropriate coloring/flavour)
Chocolate rice or colorful sprinkles.
Mini marshmallows

Bake the cake per instructions on box. (Note: for mine, I added 2 tablespoons of cocoa powder into the mix and folded in half a packet of hershey's semi-sweet chocolate chips before pouring into the cake tin).
Beat cream cheese, sugar and choc drink powder till soft and well mixed. Add in whipping cream and whip till mixture is thick enough to spread.
Spread cream cheese frosting on cake, arrange marshmallows in child's name or age, sprinkle chocolate rice as contrast.

I know I said that I was going to spell Ilham's name, but there wasnt enough space, so I did the number '8' (his age) instead.
Variations: decorate the cake with tiny figurines/toys of his favourite hobby or character.
Guaranteed smiles.
He even requested (REQUESTED! I didnt even have to suggest it or twist his arm!) to bring the leftover cake to school for his class teacher and friends. He came home today telling me how much they loved it. Yay!!

---

I got this next recipe from Sunflora. She served me this delicious dessert when I was at her house and I asked her where she bought it and was very glad to know that she made it herself and that the recipe was crazy simple (senang giller). She wrote it down for me and I tried it last night. Took me less than 10 minutes to mix everything.

Easy Peasy Kuih Bakar (Baked Custard?)

1 bowl eggs (crack eggs in a bowl till the bowl is full)
1 bowl sugar
1 bowl flour (plain white flour)
2 bowl coconut milk
1 teaspoon all spice (I subtituted with vanilla)

It's all about the volume. Make sure you get the volume proportions right.
Pre-heat oven to 325Farenhite. Wipe baking pan with some cooking oil and pre-heat the pan in the oven.
Mix all ingredients in a bowl (i just used an egg beater).
Pour into pre-heated pan (mixture should sizzle a bit), bake for 45 minutes.

Result should be golden yellow and very soft. If it's slightly brown at the edges and hard (like mine, below), that means you've overcooked it. But it's still really gooood!

Ilham is 8 today!

Today is Ilham's 8th Birthday, so we made a doll of him together. He chose the outfit and we chose the features together. I started out with Taufik's doll and amazingly he recognized that the doll looked like his ayah :). Each time I would changed a feature, I'd ask him, "Does this look like you?".
Anyways, here's what Ilham looks like as a doll:


So how has he progressed in the past year?
1. He has improved his English a lot. He speaks more english than malay now. He also speaks in a mixture of accents.. english and american (shich sunflora labelled as 'canadian' ha ha).
2. He has improved his Math, a lot!
3. He has learnt to ride a bicycle on his own.
4. He has learnt how to rollerblade, with the help of his father.
5. He is more patient with his siblings (but sometimes he still gets a bit frustrated with them).
6. He has the confidence and knowledge to handle money, he just needs to learn to value money.
7. He is more confident with himself, especially when expressing his opinions.
8. He takes a bigger part in household chores and does it willingly (i.e. vacuum and wash dishes and take out the garbage).
He still needs his brother to 'teman' him to the toilet and he can't sleep alone, though.. we need to work on that.

Taufik offered to buy him an ice-cream cake, but he wanted a chocolate cake, so I decided to bake him one. I already baked the cake in the morning, later I'm gonna make some whipped cream topping and put on chocolate sprinkles and spell his name out with mini marshmallows :)



HAPPY BIRTHDAY ILHAM!!

---

Edited to add:
Happy Birthday to 'bapak-tak-larat-angkat' Ilham - The Elusive Mr. R !! Happy .. hm.. 33rd(?) Birthday! (Ilham was born on his birthday)
And Happy Belated Birthday to Zharif too!! (macamana auntie boleh lupa nih..?) Zharif is now 2 years old!

For Adam, Aiysha and Aliya

Mokciknab's kids requested stories on my kids.

---

Ilham wrote a letter to me the other day.

Dear Bonda,
Just now I heard Ayah say a bad word. He said bullsh1t on the phone. Please scold him because I know bullsh1t is a bad word.

Then he drew a small 'wanted' poster with Taufik's face on it, and a caption 'For saying bullsh1t' underneath.

---

Ihsan announced that he had invented a new weapon. It's called a "Spender Gun" (spender=briefs, underwear). He said it's just like a rubberband sling.
So his father suggested that he bring it to school for Show and Tell (his class has show and tell every wednesday). So we discussed how he should do the show and tell. Start with showing the spender and asking his audience "Do you know what this is?". Taufik suggested that if somebody doesn't know, then Ihsan should aim the gun at the person. But Ilham came up with a better idea. He said "Or you can ask, Can I have a volunteer?".
We pictured Ihsan standing in front of the class with his green underwear that has a picture of an excavator on the front, explaining to his friends how his Spender Gun works. We also tried to imagine Mrs. Snieder's face. We laughed so hard we almost choked on our rice.

---

Anis was reading Sunflora's daughter's ABC book and she was going
"L, for Lion. M for Monkey. N, for .. Telur!"
Next to N was a picture of a Nest, and Telur=Egg.

We were halfway to Riyadh and the kids were sleeping when I suddenly heard a continuous "k k k" sound coming from the back seat. I turned around and found that Anis was awake and was practising making her "k" sounds.

---

Today is Ilham's birthday, but I'll blog about that later.
I updated Izani's progress.

How do you know?

oh would you tell me, I wanna know
how can you tell if he loves me so?


How do you know if your husband really loves you?

If it's by the amount of gifts he bestows you, then I'm screwed. Coz i seldom get gifts. I used to get flowers on birthdays, but nowadays I don't even get them anymore. Forget about jewellery. He has stopped buying me those aeons ago. In fact the last gift I got was a watch. I can't remember when I got them. Last year, I think. Lingerie? *laughs* fergeddit.
So when he stops buying you gifts, does that mean he's stopped loving you?

Is it in his eyes? The way he looks at you? The way he steals looks at you?
Would it mean that when he doesnt notice what you're wearing, that he doesnt love you?

Is it in his words? Is saying "I love you" everyday enough to make you believe?
If he doesnt do that, what does it mean?

Is it in the way he supports you? Like if he pays the bills, then you don't even need to question where his heart lies?

Or maybe the way he helps you? If he mops the floor, cleans the house.. that should make you feel special?

it's in his kiss
really? So if he has stopped kissing you, or if he doesnt kiss you the way he used to, does it mean that his feelings have changed?

Maybe just being loyal should be enough? That he does not cheat on you, or look or even think of another woman, you should feel assured that he loves you?
Who needs diamonds when he's there all the time?

Don't I deserve the whole package?

meh.. I don't know where this post is going.

maybe I'm in post-partum something.

laytur.
when I fell better.

blurrness forgiven

tee hee

so I was in bed breastfeeding izani and I dozed off.
Taufik was ready to go to work, so he touched my thighs to wake me up and say goodbye.
He rubbed my tummy, gave me a kiss and said "Sayang dah kurus dah" (You've lost weight, love).
Then he grabbed my butt.

so, all forgiven !
*grin*


p/s today I wore my dark blue jeans with a normal blue shirt. No more t-shirts and track pants :)

DownUnder=ok, middleEast=so-so, husband=blurr

I got back into my jeans yesterday.
and without the aid of any girdles or corsets of any kind, if I may add..
I think this calls for a little "Yay!" :D
Verdict: my butt is still the same size (if the jeans have not stretched while it was in the closet), but my tummy area still needs a bit of work. Its a bit .. erm.. geleber (soft). I never had hard-rock-abs in the first place, but hey.. I can work on it, can't I?

So I wore my jeans proudly when I greeted Taufik at the door. He asked me to help take in the groceries.
I paraded it while preparing dinner in the kitchen and but he was too pre-occupied with transferring the rice from the gunny sack into the rice bin.
I wore it during dinner and while we watched F1.
Finally I gave up, and changed back into my comfortable track pants.

:| *sigh*

Mum's the word

I think moms really get the short end of the stick.

Think about it, to be a mom, we have to first endure living with a man. Though that experience may be pleasurable, you have to admit that it takes a lot of work. We are usually the ones who have to compromise, to sacrifice and most often that not, we are the ones who have to initiate things, or else we wont get what we want/need.

When this mission is accomplished, we then need to live through nausea, mood swings, cravings, itchy tummies, tooth-aches due to lack of calcium, paleness due to lack of iron, constipation due to excessive iron, weight gain due to increased appetite (or the rare case of dangerous weight loss due to no appetite).
As the pregnancy progresses, we get back pain due to the extra weight we're carrying, possible ugly varicose veins and we develop a bit of an inferiority complex coz we look in the mirror and see a whale.
Before the very end, we feel like someone's squeezing our insides every few minutes and we go to the hospital for assistance but instead we get poked down there every few hours. Then we are either expected to squeeze a watermelon through straw or we are cut open and stitched up.

Oh, but it's not ever yet!
We then have to content with whiny babies, sore nipples, sleepless nights, shitting what feels like rocks the size of boulder, colorado, and post-partum depression because when we look in the mirror we *still* see a whale.

From the way I see it, flowers once a year in May would not cover it.
The ground that we walk on should be worshipped every day for the rest of your lives.
(I can also live with getting diamonds once in a while). :laugh:

Happy Mother's Day!

---

But it's not all bad... just go read Baby Izani's latest progress.

Pengasuh Mek Fi, Gunung Patah-belakang, Rempuh

Translation: Pengasuh= Nanny, Gunung= Mountain, Patah=Broke, Belakang= Back, Rempuh= Crash.

Thanx to my dad and my siblings, I managed to watch the above movies these past few weeks, and at least 2 of them, in full.

Pengasuh Mek Fi

We watched this movie as a family 2 weekends ago and we enjoyed ourselves immensely. The kids guffawed at the naughty children’s antics while I dreamt of getting myself that magic walking stick (or at least some sort of help) and prayed that my kids don’t ever get to tie anyone up on the kitchen table.
We were captivated throughout the movie. Ilham, particularly, was so engrossed in it, that when the kids in the movie asked their dad Mr. Brown whether he loved Evangeline, Ilham burst out “Say Yes! say Yesssss!”, clenching his two fists tightly and watched the screen with such an expression of hope that Taufik and I couldn’t help laughing.
I only cried once: when C0lin F1rth ran after the carriage begging for his daughter not to be taken away.

Gunung Patah-Belakang

I didn’t get to finish watching this movie because the copy was really bad that towards the middle the images and sounds were breaking up. I only got to the part where Ennis got divorced, and even then, some bits in between were lost to me.
With all the hype surrounding it, I already knew what the movie was basically about, and watched it with an open mind, and tried to watch it like it was any other love story (coz that’s what Ang L33 wanted it to be seen as).
After watching only about an hour (before the images went kaput), I can’t help but feel that it was more of a lust story than a love story. Somehow the ‘love’ part was either not conveyed properly, or maybe it was never there.
Their first physical contact was too rushed, too ‘physical’ and lack emotional attachment that I didn’t understand how it happened at all. I expected more tenderness, more touchy-feely kinda relationship (first), or at least something that might indicate that they did fall in love with each other before they got physical. Having them go physical before they got emotionally attached somehow debased their relationship, and the story. I have never witnessed a g4y relationship blossom, but I’m sure that there’s more to it than just physical/s3xual attraction.
I haven’t watched the whole movie till the end, so maybe I’m wrong. Or maybe that’s what the story is all about.
From what I’ve seen so far, I think that Jack might be in love, but I think Ennis was more in it for the piece of the assaction. Because or else, they would’ve found a way to be together, move to L.A. or something, instead of trying to put up the whole charade.
Meh.. maybe I should hold my opinion till after I’ve watched the whole thing properly, eh?
My favourite scene so far was when Jack was driving away and he looked at Ennis walking away in his rearviewmirror. I thought that was such a touching scene. (Or maybe coz I know how it feels coz I’ve caught Taufik looking at me while he was driving away a coupla times too)
And Jake Gyllenh4ll is a superb actor.. I think he’s even better than He4th.

Rempuh

I really liked this movie, though I hated the language. Do people really talk with a lot of expletives in real life? I remember when I was in college, the only people who insert a swear word in every sentence they spoke were freshmen. drunk freshmen.
Anyways. I thought the movie was very very interesting. I found myself predicting what will happen next (based on my own prejudices) and is often pleasantly suprised when I am wrong. But there were also moments when I found that I was right, and felt a little dissapointed..
My favourite scene is when that little girl saved his dad. Damn. Both my mom and I gasped in horror, then relief, then I got a little teary eyed (i didnt check whether my mom cried or not).
and did I detect a little something going on between Brendan Fr4sier and his assistant?
And ugly as he is, I wanna hug D0n Che4dle.
I'm gonna watch this again.
Weirdly enough, this copy was clear and distortion free.. (Thanx Pa)

Note: The last 2 movies were watched without my kids around, and I made Anis play with the computer or go take a shower.

Don't get me wrong ...

.. I love my mom.
And I know that she loves me, because or else, she wouldnt have travelled so far to come and take care of me.
If I ever felt that I'm being sidelined by her paying more attention to my other siblings, it's only because she knows that I can take care of myself, and don't need her to dote on me all the time. (Which makes me wonder, if I were a little more whiny and pretend I am hopeless and useless and incompetent, would I get more tender loving care?)

And I know that she doesnt mean to nag.. it's just that she's from Venus and venusians just have this need to regurgitate everything that goes on in their minds. She just have the need to tell somebody. And that somebody just happens to be me, at the moment.
It's just that sometimes during the 'conversation' (and I use the term loosely coz it's usually her doing all the talking and I would just go "hm" and "uh, yeah" and "i don't know lah ma..."), i think in her mind, I would transform into the person she's talking about and her tone would change and suddenly I start to feel like I'm the one who did something wrong, or the one who needs correction/advice. That's when i get a little peeved...

But other than that, I really appreciate it that she's here, coz at least there's one extra person to pay attention to my attention seeking/deprived kids and i don't get a headache everytime 3 o=clock comes and I hear the school bus and then the doorbell and the screams of "Bondaaa......look what Ilham/Ihsan did!!" ...

Alhamdulillah.

hodge podge

arrrghhh there's so much I want to say, but after reading half of my blog alerts, (some of them read while one arm is supporting izani's head while breastfeeding him), I now have to go down and prepare dinner. (Taufik bought some swakni lamb meat+bones last week and I made soup and it turned out so good that he bought some more so I'm gonna make curry today).
anyways.
so short, quick statements:

. I'm glad paris is out instead of elliot. I think elliot will be out next if he does not bring it on. I want chris to stop screaming. I want kat not to stop her charm, but to start singing in tune. I want taylor to win coz I love 'Something'.

. the disadvantage of having your mom around and you're the only adult in the house most of the time is that you are the target of her conversations (read: nagging). She may be nagging at someone else, or thinking of someone else, but you are at the receiving end of the brunt of her advices/ngomelan/nagging.
Orang2 yang berkenaan, sila telefon ibu kamu supaya dia boleh membebel at you personally and say all that she feels needs to be said, because or else, she'll be saying those things to me and keep asking me to convey it to you, which is something I am SO malas to do.

. I love my mom, I really do. I'm just not used to being the centre of her attention. I'm not used to even being at the edge of her attention...

. last night I watched an old episode of X-Files. I thought of Suhai.

. Last night Ilham heard the theme song for X-files and covered his ears in terror. I think it's the same kind of spine-chilling fear that I used to get when I heard the theme for Twilight Zone when I was a kid.

. i really have to go downstairs and cook now.

adios amigos.

---

Edited to add: I have updated Izani's blog. Go and read!

Doll vs. Real

okay here goes.. compare away..



I can't find a picture of me that is anywhere close to resembling the doll (read: I am not as cute or as skinny as the doll.. suprise suprise). So you people just have to use your imagination.. tee hee.

Easy Peasy Cashew Chicken

Haven't done one of these in a while, eh?
It's not that I have not been cooking, it's just that since I can't go out grocery shopping, and my mom was having digestion problems and I personally don't have the time to think about cooking creative and complicated dishes, I have been cooking only simple, boring dishes lately. Like plain soups (not even the creamy kind), omelettes and fried stuff.

Yesterday, however, what started out as a day with nothing to eat (coz Taufik couldnt go to buy groceries coz he sent his car for service), ended up with me making cashew chicken.
I had initially asked my mom to go to the compound's mini market to buy some chicken so that we could make chicken soup. She came back with a pack of frozen chicken breasts and a large potato.
I started cutting up the chicken and it turned out that there was too much chicken for soup, so I decided to set aside half of it for 'something else'. The potato was also too big, so I decided to also set half of it aside for 'something else'.
After making the chicken soup, I looked at the chicken breasts, half a potato, and some cashew nuts I had in the cupboard, I decided, oh well, why not Cashew Chicken, since I haven't had that in a while..

Easy Peasy Cashew Chicken

200grams Chicken Breasts (diced/cut up into bite sized pieces)
1tbsp. dark soy sauce (for color)
2tbsp. sweet soy sauce (for sweetness, add more if you like)
1tbsp, oyster sauce (for flavor)
1 clove garlic (finely chopped)
1 small potato (or half a large potato, cut in small dices, deep fried)
1 fistful of cashew nuts (blanched or dry roasted, u can use as much as u like)
1 large onion (diced into large pieces)
5 stalks of dried chillies (optional, cut into 1/4 inch pieces, remove seeds if you want it less spicy)

Marinate chicken in dark soy sauce, sweet soy sauce and oyster sauce.
Heat 2 tablespoons of cooking oil in a frying pan or wok, saute the garlic till fragrant. Add in the chicken with all the marinade and stir fry. Once chicken pieces are thoroughly cooked, add in the fried potatoes, cashew nuts, diced onions and dried chillies. Stir fry to evenly coat everything in sauce. Add more sweet soy sauce if you like.
Serve with white rice.

Variations: Add diced bell peppers. Substitute chicken with beef or batter fried fish.

Sorry, no pictures. I didn't have time to take them.
Because I was cooking for kids, I omitted the chillies.
This dish served 3 adults and 3 kids. Taufik would pick out the cashews and put them in my plate, while I would pick out the onions and put them in his plate. The kids would eat the potatoes.
It should taste slightly sweet&salty (and a little spicy if you added the dried chillies). This dish also goes well with rice porridge, though I would make extra marinade to add more sauce to it.

---

Edited on July 5th 2006:
I made Cashew Chicken again today. This time I added the dried chillies, and took a picture. So this is what it's supposed to look like ...

guess who this is?

It actually looks like him. When he was younger. Coz now he wears glasses, and I couldnt find the right one. I couldnt find the right hair either, but this was close enuf.
Actually I couldnt find the right shirt either, coz he isnt really a metrosexual kinda guy, but he did have a leather jacket once, when we owned a bike, and he likes polo shirts, so this was close enuf.
somehow it turned out to look exactly like him.
isnt he so cute?
damn, i'm falling in love all over again.

dammit.. i forgot to give him shoes!
meh.. i'm too lazy to go back and put on some...

p/s db, this is all your fault!!

Blame it on the boing

My hair actually looks like that now. Taufik has cut it (it was really long before), and you know how he is with scissors and hair..
I wanted boots, but was too lazy to search for it.. heh heh

You know I'm gonna play around with this summore, don't you?

untitled

Who knows how a woman's mind works.
She calls me up out of the blue and asks me to come home.
After years of my efforts of showing that I still have affections for her have been thwarthed time and time again, she finally tells me that she needs me.
After years of just coming home to 'visit' and never to stay, she is asking me to be with her again. To return to my post as the pillar of strength to which she can cling to for support.
Do I say yes? Or do I say "too little too late?"

Because I love her, I say Yes.

---

Tidak ada kena mengena dengan yang hidup atau yang mati.

heh.

Sometimes I wonder what goes on in the heads of other people. Sometimes I wonder, if I were to listen to what they are thinking, would I understand them better? Would I be able to get to know them better?
Or would it suffice to just know what went on in their lives, to listen to what comes out of their mouths, to watch how they react to situations, to speculate and surmise .. would that make me really know them?
Maybe it's better that I do not know people so well. Coz then I wouldn't be suprised anymore.

AI 2006: Final 6 results: If America picked to pickle Pickler, will pickler be pickled?

I love it when I'm right.

---

Sorry, too busy to write a real post today.

AI 2006, Final 6

They're singing love songs this week.
Thank God Ace was kicked out last week.. I could just imagine him revelling in this category coz he would get to practice his 'hypnotic gaze' on the camera..
tee hee.
okay lah cukuplah mengutuk mat sengau tu.. dia pun dah keluar kan?

Kat (I Have Nothing) - was so hawt hawt hawt!!! My god what a dress!! How does she keep her boobs in? I thought she performed the song quite well even though none of the judges seem to agree. She definitely exuded pesona bintang (star quality). I think the phone bill at all frat houses all across america just went up a notch this week.

Elliot (Song for You) - was slammin! I saw a lot of soul and I was feeling the love from his performence this week. I thought the song was a bit draggy, but my attention was held fast by his awesome vocals. and Paula is so emo tak pasal2.. ntah apa apa..dah lah cakap merapu

Kelly (Unchained Melody) - meh... i tried looking into her eyes to find an aota of emotion while she was singing, but as usual, nada. She has limited taste/knowledge in music (and almost everything else), doesnt she? I'm starting to get tired of her.

Taylor (Just Once) - I thought he picked the perfect song for him, but he was a bit pitchy at some parts. I actually pity him coz the judges (especially Simon) never seem to be satisfied with him. He injects a little craziness and they call him 'drunk', he keeps it serious and they call him 'uptight'. What the hell?

Paris (The Way We Were) - somehow this song always reminds me of Leslie Cheung. aaanyways.. I thought Paris went a bit over with this song.. it sounded very very broadway but not classy broadway like Streisand. I hope the stylist would stop dressing her up in black. I think she would've looked better in a flowy ivory dress singing this song.

Chris (Have You ever Loved a Woman) - at last!! he sings Bryan Adams! And he nailed it!! I knew he'd be good with Bryan Adams. I thought it was such a good performence, and singing while lying down has definitely cured him of his vibrating vocals. I really loved this one. I'm actually gonna go and download it. The look he had at the last 'woman', reminded me of how Bo looked when he sang that whatsitstitle song acapella. Total satisfaction of a job well done.

Who I want to be out: The Pickle.
Who I think will be voted out: either the Pickle, or if the voters are cruel and listens to the judges, Kat.

We'll see how tomorrow..

I want my sexy back

I don't want a look, I want a gaze
I don't want a hug, I want an embrace
I don't want a peck, I want a passionate kiss
I want to experience, I don't want to miss

I don't want a touch, I want a caress
I want passion to burn right beneath my breasts
To not just be needed but to also be desired
To be revived as the goddess when the goddess is tired

I want my sexy back

aiyooohh lambat lagi ke nak habis pantang nih..?

My mom is here, yay!

Okay, so my mom arrived at 3am this morning. I just had put Izani down after his feed, so I sat and chatted with her while waiting for the time for Fajr prayers, which was only 45 minutes away.

She told me that she had been feeling very tired coz she couldnt sleep, worrying about a lot of things. How my youngest sister is doing with the new baby, how my eldest sister is going to move into her house, how the-one-who-does-not-blog (TDB) is going to handle her kid when her maid goes home, her impending trip alone to a foreign land.. She almost wanted to cancel the trip to come visit me, because she had felt so tired.. but then my bro-in-law (TDB's hubby) asked her to reconsider, and she was reading the Quran and she kept encountering words of encouragement for people who sacrifice themselves to help other people in need. Then my dad came over to see her and bought her some essence of chicken and that made her feel revived and better..(Thanx, Papa!)
So she finally went to the airport, got help from a man heading to Manchester to get to her gate, then on the plane met a nurse who was working here in Al-Kh0bar, so she had company and felt more secure about travelling.
Alhamdulillah!! He moves in mysterious ways
I told her that I was apprehensive about her coming as well, for the same reason that she was apprehensive about coming. Plus the fact that I actually am feeling better already. She said that she's glad that I'm feeling better, but she is still happy that she's now here and she'll try to help as best as she can, plus she's looking forward to seeing the kids.
She then started unpacking her stuff, and we discovered that most of 'her stuff' were actually my stuff!! Gifts from friends + family (Thankyou thankyou thankyou!! *muahs muahs* love you all! I laughed out loud when I saw the minyak Yu Yee!), keropok and ikan bilis, Sea cucumber jelly, tudung mun@warrah, letters.. and DVDs!! Yay!
I finally left her to freshen up and perform her solat and I went to bed at around 4am.
Izani woke up at around 6am, about the same time that Taufik woke up and he woke the boys up for school. We told Ihsan that nenek is here and the first thing he did was go look for her. She sounded happy to see the boys. I overheard her remark that Ilham is now almost as tall as her. She came into the room to look at Izani and the first thing she said was "eh, he looks just like Aliff!" See, kan dah kata..?? All cucu kustamangs look almost alike.
She held Izani while I went to the bathroom and went down to help Taufik with the boys. I had a bit of breakfast, then my mom came down with Anis to have breakfast (she made Anis scrambled eggs). I came up to see that Izani has fallen back to sleep and so has Taufik, so I switched on Disney Channel for Anis and went back to bed as well.
When I woke up at 9am when Taufik was getting ready for work, I discovered that my mom had cleaned and arranged everything in my kitchen! She was by then asleep in her room.
I cooked lunch (rice, vegetable soup, fried chicken and sambal tumis ikan bilis with the ikan bilis that my mom brought for me) and went upstairs to wake my mom up, and saw her by the sink brushing her teeth. She wanted to shower and pray first, so Taufik and I had our lunch by ourself (it was yummy by the way.. been awhile since I had sambal tumis ikan bilis).
After lunch we sat together watching Opr@h, Starting Over and Dr.Phil while I fed Izani and then folded laundry.
She is now in the kitchen frying up sweet potatoes for my kids.. and when I went down a few minutes ago to see if I could help her, she was sweeping up the kitchen floor.

I think this visit is not going to be so bad after all... :)

My three other kids

Okay so everyone's been wondering about how my other kids are taking to baby Izani.

Sorry for the bad lighting. Taufik put the baby by the window to prevent jaundice

Well, what can I say, they just love the baby to bits.
Everyone wants to hold the baby (which I do not allow), and they're always kissing him. I wipe their noses before they kiss him, though. And make sure they wash their hands coz god knows where those grubby fingers have been.
They have lots of questions.
Like

"is that the straw where he gets food when he was in your tummy?" pointing to the umbilical cord
"does it hurt?" while I was breastfeeding
"why doesn't he look at me?" when they see him open his eyes but don't look directly at them
"do you know how to take care of him? I think we need a nurse" when the baby cries.
"was I this little?" when they compare the size of their hands and feet.

Last night Izani had the hiccups and the kids were laughing at each and every hiccup.

"His head is so small, but his face is so big!!" Anis commented.
"He looks like he's drunk" Ilham said.
"tee hee he's so funny" Ihsan remarked.

Anis, of course, is the one who dotes on her baby brother the most. She is the one who runs downstairs (or sometimes yells from upstairs) that the baby is crying when I'm doing stuff downstairs.
She would stand by the changing table everytime I change Izani's diapers and ask if she could help opening the diaper, handing me wet-wipes and giving the ocassional commentary on the different odors, saying "Eyewww that is gross" at appropriate times.
While I'm bathing Izani, Anis is the official towel holder.
And she's the one who powders him (and powders herself in the process).
And she insists to be the one who combs his hair. Her favourite style is the front-comb. You know.. just like the way George Michael did his hair when he made his second comeback.

If the baby cries, and I'm busy doing something else, Anis would be the first one to sit by him, stroke his hair and say "It's okay, baby...it's okay.."
Sometimes she'd tell him stories.
She kisses him A LOT.
Baby Izani just lets her do anything she wants to him..

HOWEVER, Anis is acting extra whiny since the baby got home. She cries very easily, especially when we scold her for doing something wrong. Instead of asking for things nicely, sometimes she cries and whines instead, as if she expects us to say no. I think she just wants attention and is feeling a little bit insecure about her ability to get our attention. So we try not to make her feel like she's being loved less now that the baby is here.
Taufik took 30 minutes after lunch today to play with the jigsaw puzzle with her. She was so happy :). I think she will be happier when her grandmother gets here, coz then there will be an extra person who would pay attention to her.

My mom will be arriving in Bahrain at 1am tomorrow. Taufik will be leaving here at midnight to drive to Bahrain airport to pick her up. They'll arrive home at 3am, we estimate. I'm sure she'll be really jet-lagged and tired, so I'll let her rest for a bit.
I'm actually abit apprehensive about her visit.
She just got back from Seattle helping out my youngest sister with her baby, and from what I heard so far, she has been worrying about how my youngest sister is handling it alone with her new baby. I am afriad if she will still be thinking about my youngest sister when she gets here. I am afraid of what she would think when she comes here and sees me all hunky dory and acting like I'm super-woman.
Would she be angry at me for taking her away from someone who she feels needed her more? Would she think it is selfish of me to have brought her here to help me out, when I am actually capable of taking care of myself?
Maybe I am being apprehensive for no reason. And this is not a good state of mind to be in at the start of the visit.
Relax. Have an open mind. Things will be just fine.. Maybe she will enjoy being here after all. Maybe I am delusional about being able to take care of everything myself. Maybe she'll see that she *is* needed here, and she won't feel so bad about leaving Seattle so soon.
Insya-Allah.

---

There's a new post on Baby Izani's Blog, by the way.

slowly but surely..

so I'm down to 15 alerts.
My strategy was to go blog by blog, instead of post by post. So now I'm left with posts from pizzofmine, benthere and syntheticfaith..
Saving the best for last? :)
Or
Saving the most for last? ;)

Sorry if I read your post and didnt comment. It's kinda hard when you're trying to catch up.. and when you're also kinda sleepy :(

well, I better get back to it..


suddenly I feel like eating some cheesecake..
damn.

i'm back, but my back, and oh those backlogs!!

So far, the first day at home back to the usual routine with the new baby and no extra help seems to be going okay.

Izani woke up twice last night. Once at midnight, another time at 3am. The thing is, my wound is still abit sore, so I can't lie on my side to breastfeed him, which means I have to wake up and sit up and feed him. Which means every time he feeds, I have to be awake... :(
But I try not to be too stressed out about it, coz I can always catch up on sleep during the day.. tee hee..
Izani woke up again at around 6:45am hungry, so I fed him. Taufik got the boys ready and packed their lunchbox. After he sent the boys off to the bus, he came back and helped me hold Izani while I go do my thang in the bathroom.
After Taufik left for work I put Izani down for his nap, loaded the washing machine and made me two cheese sandwiches for breakfast. I ate them while I surfed the blogs (I have 80 post alerts!! dayummmm). Anis woke up, so I made her breakfast. I put the first laundry load into the dryer and put in the second load into the washing machine. Then I washed dishes for a bit, and sterilized Izani's bottles.
I surfed abit more, then when baby izani woke up at 10am, I bathed him, took some pictures, updated Izani's Baby Steps, fed him, put him to sleep, then surfed some more.
Then I made lunch (Yesterday one of my egyptian friends gave me a whole roast chicken, we had leftovers so I'm making soup and noodles today to eat with the leftover chicken), which is just boiling vermicelli and making a pot of chicken soup (nothing fancy or strenuous), which I didnt get to eat till about 2:30pm coz Izani woke up so I had to feed him, burp him, change him, and put him down to sleep.
The kids are now back from school. They're watching TV but they have to do their homework soon. Ilham came home with a tupperware of lasagna from Shalee (my friend whose son is in the same class as Ilham), which I heated up but havent eaten yet. I guess we'll have it for tea (and if there are leftovers, it'll be my breakfast for tomorrow too)
For dinner, I am just gonna have to marinate the chicken (which Taufik will fry for dinner) and cook rice. (I already made soup, remember).
My 2 loads of laundry is all dried and folded, so .. i guess when dinner is done, I'll be done for the day.. i'll feed izani before bed, and get ready to wake up at midnight for the whole cycle to begin again...

So you see, it's not like I'm superwoman or anything.. I just take my time and pick my battles.

My back is killing me though.. I havent had any ME-time yet.. havent taken any jamu (herbal preparations) or put on any barut (herbal treatment for the tummy) or bertungku (hot stone treatment) .. I guess I have to wait for my mom to get here before I can do that.

Did I tell you I have 80 post alerts??
Don't worry.. I'll get there eventually.. I don't know whether I'd comment on all of them, but I'll definitely read them.
sooner or later.

p/s If you have not noticed, I started a seperate blog for stories about Izani. I will not be blogging about Izani as often as I blog here, so you might wanna subscribe to Izani's Baby Steps. (If you're interested, lah). I will try to remember to mention it here if I made any updates there. I think, at the very least, I'll update on Izani's progress weekly.

I'm baaccckkkk!!!

:D

okay before I say anything else, I'd like to state that I didnt get to watch this week's Americ@n Id0l and that my only regret is not seeing the The Face go with my own two eyes. Yes yes yessssssss!!!

---

Warning: May contain gory details and way too much information

So I delivered Baby Izani on Saturday, 15th of April. (i'll get to changing the ticker tomorrow).
It was pretty quick. I was rolled into the operating room around 10am. They poked the IV into me, then strapped me down, then a lady held a mask in front of my face (but didnt attach it) and I caught a whiff of something smelling vaguely of insecticide.
Another lady put her face in my view and said something like "kaserser" and I said I didnt speak arabic and she repeated "kaserser" and I finally comprehended. "Catheter? oh, okay" I said and the lady poked me around 'down there' and stuck stuff up my you know what. Damn. Only then did I recall the benefits of being on epidural.
Then the doctor came and started to swab my abdomen and I was like starting to panic coz hey I'm not unconcious yet!! Don't start! Don't start!
and the next thing I knew, they were calling my name and I remember going "mmm" in reply. I started to shiver, which I found really weird but I remember someone telling me about it so I didnt freak out or anything.
After that I started to feel pain and am reminded again how good epidural is. I told the nurse about the pain and she injected something into my IV that made it bearable. I think it was around 11am that I was rolled out and sent back to my room.
I didnt get to see Izani till around 3pm or so coz he had to sit under the light to heat his body up or something. Taufik said when they rolled the baby out, Izani was so quiet.. he didnt even cry.
Izani has thick black hair like Ilham, and he looks like Ilham and Anis when they were babies.
I tried to breastfeed him on the first day, but didnt have much milk, so I gave him the bottle. He's quite a drinker, this boy.

The recovery was pretty quick too. No nausea, no dizziness. Though I slept for abit while waiting for the baby. I was also really hungry and thirsty.
By the second day they had taken out the catheter and I was expected to go to the loo on my own. I was allowed to drink. I was also asked to walk about, which was kinda difficult with the IV. The nurses/doctors kept coming in to ask whether I had pass motion/gas, to which I would answer no.
On the third day when I still have not passed motion/gas, my doctor decided to give me an enema. *Ouch*. But after that they allowed me to eat pureed carrot soup. I was just happy to get something to eat.
They also took out the plaster covering the cut on the third day, and replaced it with just a dressing of gauze and tape. I was quite suprised, because for my previous deliveries, they didnt do that till maybe after a week! I was kinda scared of moving about coz of the 'wobbly bits'. They took off my IV from time to time to allow me to walk around the room coz they said it would help with my digestion. It didnt help.
Fourth day was a bliss, coz I discovered that the wound didnt hurt as much as it did in my previous deliveries. I got them to bring Izani to the room ans breastfed him for the whole day. He looked a bit yellow though. I told the nurse that I wanted to go home the next day if possible, so to make sure that I could bring the baby home as well.
The next morning (fifth day), we found out that Izani has jaundice, so he had to be under phototherapy the whole day. I couldnt breastfeed or see him, so I had to pump my milk out. I was super-bored in my room. I finished reading Gertrude and Claudius. Watched TV and more and more TV. In the evening I checked with the nursery and discovered that we had to stay and extra day. Anis came from ABC's house and we found that she had fallen on her face and her two front teeth had been pushed up into her gums. She looked so bad, I cried. I felt kinda guilty (for not being there for her) and kinda angry (like when you let someone borrow your car and found a huge dent when they return it to you). I cried alone when she left for home that night.
Oh, they also took out my stitches! And amazingly, I felt pretty good.
The next day (which was yesterday, Thursday) Taufik brought Anis to see the orthodontist and he said the two front teeth are loose and are pushed up into the gums which is making the gums swell, but they're not touching the permanent teeth, so there shouldn't be any deformities, but to come again in a week for a follow-up.
Izani was under phototherapy again and we were to check again in the evening on whether he could be discharged. Alhamdulillah, the evening's blood test showed that his bilirubin level is now safe, so he can go home. We packed our bags and settled the bill (can't remember how much it was.. around 8k I think). I hugged the nurses goodbye.
I got home, unpacked, changed into my jammies. Izani was asleep the whole time. He woke up at around midnight to feed. and again at around 4am ..
Here we go...

My bags are packed, I'm ready to go ...

.. the only thing is, I am not leaving on a jet plane.
Though according to Ilham (who had his circumcision done under general anaesthesia), it did feel like he was a pilot in a jet fighter (coz he had the gas mask on) and he was about to crash. Then the next thing he knew, he saw us by his bed.

I packed the boys' lunchbox this morning. I kissed them goodbye and gave them a hug. Taufik showed them where he hid the house key.
I called Noran up and told her what's up. She wished me all the best. :)

Our smallest suitcase is packed to the max with my stuff (and one complete outfit for baby Izani to come home in). It's almost like I was going for a holiday instead of a delivery.
Come to think of it... maybe I *will* consider it as a holiday, since I won't have to clean house and cook food.. tee hee!
I've brought along John Updike's Getrude and Claudius with me. When I'm done with that, I'll probably ask Taufik to bring Azar Nafisi's Reading Lolita in Teheran to the hospital. The hospital is about a 15 minute drive from our house and his office, so.. I think I'll be okay.
Today he's taking the whole day off.
The rest of the week he said he'll come by during lunch and after work.
I've already showed him where all the stuff for the boys' lunchbox are and how Ilham likes his toasted sandwich with sugar and Ihsan likes his with chocolate (macam Milo lah). I showed him the cupcakes in the oven.

Boy I'm hungry and thirsty... Last night I only ate a cupcake and some milk before going to bed at 10pm, and I am not allowed to have anything else..

Okay then, see you when I see you!!

p/s Thankyou for all your prayers and well wishes!