Parental Engagement Week 2011

This past week, all GEMS schools around Dubai had their Parental Engagement Week.
'GEMS' is a corporate body that runs and owns several private and international schools in Dubai. 'Parental Engagement' is their effort in encouraging parents to be more involved and engaged in their children's development.
It was a hectic week, but boy, was it all worth it.

I had the opportunity to sit in Izani's class to see how he's learning to read and write using the Phonics method. Watching how attentive Izani was in class raised my confidence that he is going to do okay in school :) Watching how creative his teacher was in engaging her young students was really inspiring. It was also a little intimidating, because when it came to when it was my turn to sit with Izani and engage in some learning games, he totally ignored me! I tried using the sing-song voice, the freddy fingers, the exaggerated expressions, but no go. I finally threatened to leave, and that worked in making Izani sit down and play with me. *shame*. I definitely am not teacher material :( I don't know how I got through all the readaloud sessions I had been doing before, without pulling out my hair. Perhaps I was more patient before?
Anyway, back to Izani's learning, I really love the learning environment. They truly truly believe in learning through play over here. (Now here it comes ... ) I hope that Malaysia has something similar to this, in Alor Star.

Then I got the chance to sit in Anis's class and see how she's learning to write better. They call the session 'Big Write' and the children were taught how to expand their writing using the principles of V - vocabulary (using different, descriptive and 'exciting' words), O - openers (using great and appropriate openers to start a sentence and engage the reader), C - connectors (using relevant and appropriate connecting words to relate to sentences or ideas together), and P - punctuation (using the correct punctuation and speech marks to control the flow of ideas). Masya-Allah, I really don't remember when I learnt how to write like that, but I don't think it was when I was only 8 years old. I remember learning words, I remember learning writing sentences and paragraphs, but I don't think anyone ever taught me writing this explicitly. I really hope Anis remembers all of this when we leave this school.

I also got to sit in Ihsan's Math class where he showed to me the different methods he was taught on how to do addition, subtraction, multiplication and division. He showed me which were his favourite methods and why he liked them and I shared with him mine. We then had a race in solving a few SATs questions. No guessing to who won. (me. tee hee) I really liked it that the teacher said there are no wrong or right method, just use one that you are most comfortable with, because our brain works differently. As long as you show you understand the problem, show that you know how to solve it, you get points, even if you get the final answer wrong. The final answer costs only one point. What an epiphany.

Aside from classroom sessions, they also organized talks with renowned speakers and authors.
Dr. Ron Clavier, a neuropsychologist, talked to parents how a child's brain develop from being childish to adolescence to adulthood. He explained the limits of a child's ability to process information, and how to handle it. He revealed what to expect in the future years of our children turning into teenagers, how their 'changing' mind would affect their perspective of the world and their behaviour towards it, and how we could reason with them. He also explained how to tell when your teen is ready to be an adult, and ready to accept adult privileges and responsibilities.
Another speaker was Mr. Bill Lucas, an expert educator, who tackled the topic "How to help your child to succeed in school and in life". He said that though schools may teach a child the curriculum of the 3 Rs (Reading, wRiting and aRithmetic), both schools and parents need to also teach them a curriculum of these 6 new Rs - Resourcefulness, Remembering, Reciprocity, Resilience, Responsiveness and Reflectiveness. In short, we should teach our children not just WHAT to learn, but more importantly, HOW to learn, so that they continue learning throughout their lives. It's really just like the old adage, "Give a man a fish, then he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, then he'll eat for a lifetime".
Masya-Allah, so enlightening and enriching.

It wasn't all academic and boring, they also had fun sessions like the Art Carousel, where school staff offered parents and students a chance to try 3 different 20 minute sessions of activities ranging from Indian Paper Folding, ballroom dancing and beginner guitar. We did Mask Designing (which is basically gluing sequins, plastic jewels, glitter and feathers on paper masks), Bookmaking (where we learn how to make an 8-page and 16-page book just by folding and cutting paper - no glue involved at all!) and we joined Rock Challenge (dancing in groups! Izani had a blast!).
The highlight of the week had to be the drumming session with Dubai Drums. They brought in 200 african drums and had 3 half an hour sessions of teaching parents and children how to play them! This was the only time I had thought to bring the camera, so this was the only activity I had pictures of:




We enjoyed the drumming session very much! I am seriously thinking of getting an african drum the next time I go to Global Village! :D

Overall, it has been a tiring and enlightening week for me. I am so inspired and motivated at the moment. I have learnt so much about my children and how to handle them. I just hope I remember it all and can put it into practice.
This also makes me wonder if schools in Malaysia have something similar to this. The week had really made me feel like the teachers and I are a team, and we have one goal, that is to groom our children to become not just information guzzlers and spewers, but to become learners, do-ers, investigators, creators ... adults who can survive in any situation and have healthy and fulfilled lives.
Please God, give me the strength to keep at it!
Insya-Allah!

Long Way Home

If you've been reading me before (or if you just browse through my archives), you'll notice that I have been talking about going back home for good for a long time. When I mentioned our intention 2 years ago, our time in Saudi was extended by PokCik Smith. Then we were told we were moving to Oman. While preparing to move to Oman, PokCik Smith then told us we were moving to Dubai instead. Here we still are, one year later.
Suffice to say that I've been telling people I am going home so many times, but never get around to it, that it's getting kinda embarrassing. I have almost come to the point of not telling people about my 'schedule' anymore. So you are forgiven if you think, "Yeah , right... she's never going home" when I tell you this time that I will be going home this July.
This time we are sure, because this time, we are in control. Come July, Taufik will quit PokCik Smith (Insya-Allah), and we will be able to go wherever we want to go, and it will definitely back home to Malaysia (again, Insya-Allah).

The prospect of retiring at the age of 40 can be quite scary, especially with 4 school-going children, but we've been planning this for almost 20 years, I think we'll be okay, Insya-Allah. We have been saving up ever since we started working, and Alhamdulillah, we now think we have enough for the children's education, for emergencies (Na'udzubillah) and for living out a simple lifestyle for the rest of our lives.
The life that we are looking to live for the rest of our lives is not the life of luxury. I am not eyeing fancy cars, designer clothes and to be draped in jewelery. We plan to live in Kedah, where the low cost of living there would probably stretch out our savings further compared to if we were to live in a big city place like KL or PJ.
To sustain ourselves financially, we have a small fruit orchard and Taufik had also acquired some palm oil land. We will do our best to maintain these two small pieces of land and pray to Allah to bless our land so that we can reap what we sow ourself into the earth.
I'm gonna be a farmer, y'all.
Perhaps you would see me at my stall by the PLUS highway one day, selling my durians and rambutans and manggis :) (While facebook-ing, of course).

Am I looking forward to this change in lifestyle? I have been asking myself the same question, and you know what, I actually am.
I wasn't really looking forward going back to KL, because compared to Al-Khobar and Dubai, our capital is actually quite a scary place to live and raise a family in. I get stressed out just thinking about the traffic, the potential of being road-bullied, or the possibility of my house getting broken into. I am sure it's not really *that* bad, since I've lived most of my life in PJ and Alhamdulillah nothing untoward has ever happened to me, but I still find it kinda tiring to always be on-guard, after 6 years of not worrying about it.
So moving to the less metropolitan and more laidback state of Kedah is definitely more appealing to me.
I long for those days when an afternoon walk does not involve dodging traffic or dogs and you'd encounter a huge patch of nature in five minute's time. Taufik longs to be able to just go fishing whenever he wishes. He also longs to teach the children how to live a simple life, be self-sufficient, not be too dependent or distracted by technology. We long to teach our children to appreciate whatever they have, no matter how little and we found that to be very difficult in the current environment where so much is available.
I know we would probably get a few (a lot) of protests from the kids at first, but I am sure after a while they'd get used to it. Well, they better get use to it, coz they would have no choice.

The one thing that worries me the most is the children's education.
After being exposed to such an independent style of learning, would they be able to cope with the regimented Malaysian school environment? Will they lose out in the future because of the drastic school change?
My worries, however, are alleviated by looking at the children of other friends who have moved back to Malaysia. Alhamdulillah, they seem to be doing well. I think it all boils down to parent's attitude. We have to know when to push our children and how much. We are the ones who have to make sure that they turn out to be a well-rounded person who are comfortable and confident with their own selves, and not always comparing them with other children.
Insya-Allah I will try to do that. I will try to stay calm and not freak out too much when it comes to exams. ;)

Well, that is our plan. Only Allah is the disposer, so we will pray that our plan comes to fruition, and be accepting of whatever He decides is best for us.

One man's loss is another man's gain

"One man's loss is another man's gain" is very true to me, because I have benefited a lot from other people's losses.
Sounds very sinister, eh? Let me explain.

After the March 2003 terrorist attack in Khobar, there was an exodus of expats from that small oil town. PokCik Sm1th decided to turn their Saudi office into an all-muslim one, so they started pulling in folks from other regions to replace the westerners that were now leaving. One of folks that were pulled into Saudi was my husband. I don't know whether Taufik would have been offered something similar if the need for a specific type of replacement were not required. (Given his performance, I'm sure someone would've offered him something eventually, but I don't think it would've been that soon).
The exodus of westerners also resulted in lower house rents and availability of places in the already limited number of international schools in Khobar/Dhahran/Dammam area. When we were leaving Khobar after 5 years of living there, our house rent had increased by 50% (with possibilities of further increases in the future) and we heard numerous stories of children of friends who were not accepted into their school of choice due to it being full.

We believe that we are experiencing the same thing in Dubai. As we are all aware, Dubai is also currently experiencing a downturn. If we were to move here a few years ago, the rent would've been much higher than what we are paying now. There would be less houses available. I don't think we could have even had the chance to look at a villa like that we are currently living in, much less rent it.
In terms of schools, even though Dubai has so many international schools, a few years ago they still could not cope with the large number of expat children in the city, so a lot of new international schools started popping up. Due to that, when more expats started leaving, more places are available at more schools (even though the schools would tell you they were full if you asked).

But rent and schools are not the only thing we are benefiting from. With expat families leaving almost every week, there is an abundance of used furniture, and *that* is like candy to bargain hunters (read: kedekut taik hidung masin) like my husband and I. Through our used-furniture hunting escapades we had met a few very interesting folks with different and interesting situations.

Adrian, who organizes polar expeditions (yes, believe it or not), sold us a set of 3+2 seaters and a what-i-hope-is-milo-stained sofa bed, for Dhs300. He had to downsize, send his family back home and move to an apartment.
Jill, who sold us a set of like brand new red 2+3 seaters for Dhs800 and 2 gigantic desert rose plants for Dhs100 each, was going back to South Africa because that's where her husband's work is taking him.
John (Actually, I can't remember his name), who sold us an extremely like brand new Ektorp 3-seater with matching stool (with storage space) for Dhs750 and his TV cabinet for Dhs200, had the saddest story of all. He was retrenched from his bank job. They had to empty the house by end of the month, and his family has to rent an apartment while he tries to look for another job. Failing which, he would have to go back home, survive on his savings and stay with his brother while he gets things together.

Sometimes I leave these houses with mix feelings. I feel sad for the situation that they are in, but I also feel grateful for the cheap stuff that I got. So it's like, "I am sorry that you are leaving, but I am glad that you are leaving me your stuff".

Sick?
Not if you see who else benefits from the numerous garage sales that pop up around this area every weekend.
Garage sales usually starts around 8am, and as early as 7:30am, you could already see people hanging around the residence's gate. Most of them would be filipinos and indians/pakistanis/srilankans and 2 malaysians (*raising our hands*). Apart from the 2 malaysians, most of them are what one house-owner we talked to would call "Professional Garage-Sale Buyers". They come in, go through the stuff, grab what they want, pile them in front of the seller, and place their price. It is then up to the seller to agree or not agree and bargain for a higher price.
Most of them would buy used clothes, kitchenware and cutlery, decorative items and sometimes furniture and toys. I am guessing some of them would buy them for their own use, and some would buy them to bring back to their home country on their next holiday (I know my cleaner buys used clothes to give to an orphanage in her hometown). So I guess it is a good thing, because unwanted items do not go to waste and people who couldn't afford (or don't want to pay the high price) to buy certain types of items could have a chance to own one (albeit used) at a more affordable price.

As I said, one man's loss is another man's gain.

Dubai Drama : House

I just realized that I have had it easy when it comes to moving.
When we moved to Saudi, Taufik had gone 6 months ahead of us to look for houses. He had the freedom to look wherever and whenever without having to haul all of us in the car. Plus, most of the houses were in a compund and came fully furnished. When we finally arrived, he had had everything ready - a fully furnished house, washer&dryer, even a television. We only had to put our clothes into the cupboards and I remember cooking rice and making omelletes for dinner on the very first evening we arrived.

Moving to Dubai is a totally different story though.
They don't have compounds just like in Saudi, and with PokCik Smith's budget, all we could afford was an empty villa. We had to start looking from scratch, scouring through advertisements in the property section of the paper, calling up whoever advertised their number. We also drove around the area we were interested in, looking out for 'To Let' signs. (Even now, the kids and I still perk up whenever we see a 'To Let' sign). While doing this, we were also looking for schools. We had to find a school that is close to residential areas and then find a house that is close to the school.
When the kids got accepted into Jumeirah College and Jumeirah Primary School, we set our sights on a few villas in the neighbourhood.

Our first choice was a 4-bedroom double-story villa located 5 minutes (15 minutes walking) from school. We called this house "Villa 118". The first time we looked at it, we liked it for the huge backyard and mature garden. Taufik was already seeing himself doing lots of gardening in it. The house was a little dilapitated though. A few doors were old and rotting, the walls had nail-holes in them, a few marble tops and tiles were broken in the bathrooms and some parts of the concrete fencing was crumbling. We left the house feeling dissapointed that it wasn't in as good a condition as the other houses we saw.
The second time we looked at Villa 118, we went with Sharliza (whose house is 5 doors away). She pointed out its good points : All bedrooms had built-in wardrobes and ensuite bathrooms, the fittings were relatively new, the kitchen had built-in cabinets, a washing machine and a fridge and the living area is quite a huge space. We really didn't need much convincing actually, because despite the dust and dried leaves on the floor, we felt at home the moment we stepped into the house.
Taufik called up the real-estate agent, Mohsen, who was unfortunately away on vacation, but was able to negotiate rent via phone calls and emails. We met with Khaldoon, the maintenance supervisor to itemize what needed fixing and he assured us that the villa would be ready by Feb 1st.
We thought our house is settled, but a day later we got a call from Mohsen's associate who demanded that we pay the rent in full before they proceed with the repair work. We refused, of course, because they have not given us an agreement in writing on whether they were going to fix anything and we have not even seen any lease contract. What is the guarantee that we won't end up living in a dilapitated house? Taufik tried to discuss and negotiate with the associate but he was so rude (shouting and not listening) and insistent that Taufik decided to CANCEL renting the villa right there and then!

On to plan B, which was another 4-bedroom double-story villa a little bit further away (10 minutes by car, 30 minutes on foot) from Villa 118, which we called "Uzma's house". This house was almost as big as Villa 118 and had almost the same emnities, but the backyard was tiny and the yard was void of plants except for a coconut tree in front. Unlike Villa 118 though, Uzma's House was fixed and cleaned while waiting for a tenant, so we could move in right away if we wanted to. Taufik managed to negotiate with Uzma, the real-estate agent, to rent the house at a lower price than Villa 118. So, we flew back to Saudi with a secure feeling.
Unfortunately, a few days later we found out that PokCik Smith has a problem with Uzma's House. Uzma wasn't really a real-estate agent with a real real-estate company. She was just an individual acting on behalf of the landlord. PokCik Smith (or actually, the finance folks) were a little nervous about writing out a cheque to an individual. After days of discussing back and forth, we had no choice but to agree with PokCik Smith.
So, cancel Uzma's House.

There we were, packing 5 years of accumulated stuff into 81 boxes, with no idea where to put them when we get to Dubai.

Cue an SMS from Mohsen : "Sir, are you still angry, and are you still interested in Villa 118?"
:)

Mohsen was back from vacation (and I hope he fired his associate's ass), and he managed to convince us to reconsider Villa 118 (We didn't need much convincing, really, but of course we didn't show him that). He said they will start working on the house, and that he only needs the refundable security deposit (which we can pay once we are in Dubai), before he draws up a lease agreement upon which, the full rent will be due. We agreed, but only after he sent us an email commiting to the list of items that needs to be fixed. When we returned to Dubai and visited Villa 118 again, we were happy to find people working on getting the interiors of the house ready. The supervisor present assured us that work will be completed on the 1st of February.

Oh Happy Joy Joy?
Not quite yet.
(Today is the 1st of February and I am still living in a hotel)

For the workers to complete the cleaning of the interiors, they need water and electricity. DEWA (Dubai Water & Electricity Authority) services are applied and paid by the tenant, not the landlord, so the moment the previous tenant left, the water & electricity was cut off. We needed to apply for DEWA services, and that requires a signed lease agreement and proof that the latest bill was paid up. These documents will only be provided to us by the landlord when we have paid the rent due and sign the lease agreement. Since PokCik Smith is paying the rent, we have to wait for a cheque from the PokCik Smith Finance department. Some joker in finance 'forgot' to sign the approval form, which delayed the issuing of the cheque, which delayed everything else. We only got the cheque on Thursday afternoon, therefore we could only get the lease agreement completed and a copy of the last paid bill after the weekend wasover (read: Sunday).
Yesterday we went to DEWA with all the required documents to apply for water & electricity. After waiting for 2 hours for his number to be called, Taufik discovered that he needed more than the required documents that was stated in the application form, something that someone (or a properly printed form) could have told him 2 hours earlier. They could build the tallest building in the world, but could not think of having an information counter (or at least a notice board for instructions) in government offices. Go figure.

So here we are, still living out of a hotel, which is seriously overrated, if you ask me. At this point we are so fed-up that we are thinking that the moment the house is cleaned and liveable, we're gonna get mattresses and pillows and move right in, with or without furniture.

I don't think I can handle anymore drama.

Realizations

In searching for schools back home for my children, I realized a few things.

Firstly, how much I took formal islamic education back home for granted. The adage "You dont know what you've got till it's gone" could never be more true. I only realized how much I had learnt from the religious classes I had to attend since Year 1, when I compared what I knew at that age to what my children know now.
The absence of formal religious lessons in their international school had robbed them of the knowledge they could have gained if their were to be schooling back home.
I worry how they will cope when they go to school in Malaysia. Will they be ridiculed, will they be seen as 'unislamic'?
However, I realized that going to an international school has also made them more analytical, outspoken and not shy to ask questions and seek understanding, traits that I see lacking in some malay muslims. I hope that they will continue with this trait, so that they will fuly understand Islam, Allah and His infinite wisdom and become a well-rounded muslim, rather than one that just follows without understanding why. I hope that with these traits, they will be able to recognize the wrong path when they see one.

I also realized that as parents, we have also tried our best to instill islamic values in our children. We have taught them the basics, how to pray, fast and right from wrong. Is that enough though? I feel limited in my own knowledge that I am afraid I have not provided them with enough, or worse, if I had provided them with wrong information. Na'uzubillah!
However, I realized that in teaching them, I am improving myself. With every question that they pose to me, I am learning new things as well. It also made me look at the world in a different way. I now see everything around us as an opportunity to teach, to show how a real muslim should think and act and to point out the beauties of Allah.
I also now see that every single thing that I do, from brushing my child's teeth, to making them breakfast, to putting them to bed, is an ibadah, for I am raising muslims, someone who will in turn, dedicate their own lives to pleasing the Almighty. (Insya-Allah).

Masya-Allah, what a blessing children are.

Self-ness

What is it about women that makes them always think about everybody else first then only themselves? Men has no trouble putting themselves first, it's almost an instinct.

Take this argument I had with Taufik last night:
I have been discovering that he gets up and goes to sleep with the kids almost every night in the past few days. When I asked him why before, he said our room was too warm and the kids' room was cooler (which is true.. our airconditioning distribution is a bit wonky). But last night he told me that I snored too loud, so he had to get away to get some sleep.

Okay, I admit that I snore. Especially when I have a stuffed nose and is forced to breathe through my mouth. Sometimes the snore is so loud, it penetrates my dreams. Sometimes it even blocks my breathing that I wake up because I was suffocating.
BUT.
Taufik snores too. (In fact, i think it's a genetic trait, because everyone in this house, including Izani, snores!). His snores are probably as bad as mine, because there were times when I would wake up just to adjust his head and pillow so that his breathing is not obstructed. Or I would try to turn his body sideways so that he could breath easier.

But that is the extent of how I would handle his snore. It never crossed my mind to leave the room to get a better sleep, no matter how sleepless or groggy I felt in the next morning. Maybe because I thought it would hurt his feelings if I did, just like it would hurt mine.

He didnt even need to think twice about sleeping in another room though. To him, he comes first. He needs his sleep, and that's the bottom line.

He comes first.

Now why is it that I can't bring myself do that?
Is it some internal wiring or what? Can I re-wire myself, and if I did, would it make me a better person?

Dare

I think continuing to build settlements after the US President called for its halt is a defiance, but calling it Givat Obama, is like them thumbing their noses at you while doing it.
It's an outright dare.

Do you dare to walk the talk, Mr. Obama?

Killer Among Us

Yesterday I caught Larry King Live and the topic was 'A Killer Among Us', discussing about how sociopaths and psychopaths think and how difficult it is to understand and identify them before they start killing people.
Suddenly one of the members of the panel came up with this gem:
"In fact, the most dangerous psychopath is the one that appeared on this show, and I'm talking about M@hmoud Ahmadenij@d ... wants to destroy Israel, etc etc."
(or something to that effect).

I am not a supporter nor fan of Ahmadinej@d, but mister member of the panel sir, should I point out to you that Ahmadinej@d has not started any wars and has not directly caused deaths of any citizens from his own country or another country, but I can't say the same about your former president.
If you put your former president against the same standards, who's the psychopath?

The Fountain, and death.

After receiving news of the passing of a young man yesterday, I needed distraction.
I dont know why the news affected me so, since I dont really know him. Perhaps the thought of the loss that his family is feeling reminded me of my own loss.
I tried sewing. An online quiz gave me relief, for a short time. I made chicken soup for dinner, and made a spicy chilli+soy sauce to go with it, but that reminded me of Lollies, which in turn reminded me of the boy and the grief the family must be going through.
I decided to watch TV and discovered The Fountain was on. Surely Hugh Jackman and the always beautiful Rachel Weisz would be able to cheer me up?
This movie started off really confusing, but I kept on watching believing it is going to be a love story with a happy ending and I was going to emerge warm and fuzzy at the end.
This movie was really really really sad.
I kept crying and crying, even long after the movie was over. Even when I didnt understand the ending.
I tried to sleep but I continued thinking about the scenes in the movie. The sense of love, of loss , of extreme grief, of loyalty, of tenacity, of what you would do for love that was potrayed in the movie really affected me. Perhaps more so with the current news still lingering in my mind.
I finally slept, and couldnt remember what I dreamt of.
When I woke up though, I had a sense of peace.

I think I know now.

Death is inevitable. No matter how much you try to avoid it, no matter how much you try to prolong your time (or somebody else's time), you will, eventually, face death.
This does not mean you should stop trying to prolong life, it only means that you need not fear death so much so that you stop living.
And when death does come (to you or your loved one), and you suffer the loss, we need not fear the loss, because it is not the end.
Death is not the end of the person.
The end of the life does not signify the end of the loving.
Thus we should not wallow in grief or regret, because it does nothing to the dead, nor the living.
Continue loving, and continue living.

Knowing this, I am ready to let go.
I love you. I am ready to let go now.

I know

I know
that I have been neglecting this blog for a long while.
It's not like I have nothing to write about. I've got this rant I want to get off my chest, but everytime I want to put something down, I start to worry about something else I should be doing, and then I'd be distracted by something else totally different, which will then lead to a different distraction... and before I know it, it's time to cook. then eat, then feed (izani), then clean up, then the cycle goes on and on again.

Anyways.

I know
I've got to iron some of the clothes I'm bringing to the roadtrip.
I've got to finish sewing the edges of my purple tudung munah. (Why lah do I keep procrastinating till the last minute).
I also need to sew a button on Taufik's pants
I've got to make sure the kids choose and pack their clothes (and the right ones)

I know
I am really excited about this trip!

I know
I also need to plan for a family-only pool party for Sya and Izani. woo hooo!
I am out of ikan bilis, so need to figure out what to make for breakfast. Something heavy so that they have to delay their departure the next morning. *mwahhaahha*
(any suggestions?)

I know
I have to get off this computer now.

NOW.

NOW!

Now, Elisa.
Scoot!

High Five!

I just finished cleaning the house (read: the bits that are visible) and thought I'd give myself a little pick-me up.
I would like to high five these people. If you're one of those people, high five me back!

*high five* If you have a messy kitchen!

*high five* If you have dusty shelves!

*high five* If there's junk and dust bunnies under your bed!

*high five* If you wrap the round metal thingy under your burners with foil and they.. well.. look like they are wrapped in foil !

*high five* If you have enough bread crumbs under your toaster to coat a chicken!

*high five* If your store room looks like a store room, and not a store front!

*high five* If you let your clean laundry sit in their baskets long enough to leave wrinkles!

*high five* If you always think about clearing out your closet but never get round to it!

*high five* If sometimes you just feel like vegging out!

*high five* If it's noon and you're still in your jammies!

This is not a tag, but if you feel the need to high five people too, go ahead, knock yourself out.
hey, you might even find me high fiving you back!

Instead of Complaining, Do Something!

The hottest current issue right now seems to be the Palestinian-Israeli issue, even though it is not really a new issue, in fact it's an issue that is older than most of us. It only becomes a renewed and hot issue (to the masses) when there is military action going on.
I know it makes some of you feel helpless and angry, and some of you are wondering "Why are there no one doing something?". Well, here I am to tell you to stop wondering and stop feeling helpless, because you CAN do something.

1. You can contact your local red cross/crescent society or Mercy malaysia or malaysians for peace and see if they are organising an aid mission, and find out how you can help out. Sometimes all they need are people who can help man the phones, or make phone calls, or type up reports, or fill up forms, or pack boxes. Help out with anything you can. No job is too small or too menial.

2. If you can afford it, donate some money so that they can fund their mission. No amount is too small.

3. For the same amount of time it takes to finish a Sudoku Challenge game, you can type up a short email directing your friends to the above websites and encourage them to help out in any way they can. For once, use spam for the good of mankind.

4. You can donate your saliva and tell your friends about the above things while you're chatting at the water cooler, coffee corner, kopitiam, waiting for your nasi ayam/goreng pisang at the roadstall.

5. Now, this last point might be a little a difficult for some of you, especially now that money is a little tight. But if you're willing to sacrifice a portion of your salary on this, instead of buying that new blackberry/iPhone or that LV handbag or that set of blueray discs or forgo that trip to that exotic location or new sports rims for your car, I assure it will be extremely rewarding, not just in this life, but even in the afterlife, InsyaAllah.
For as little as RM1640 (or (RM2210 if you want to include some duit raya), you can sponsor a palestinian orphan who is a refugee in Lebanon.
Your money (less than RM200 per month), will allow the child to go to school and get an education so that he/she can better the lives of his/her family. Your money (which you will receive a receipt for and can be deducted from your tax) will help ease the burden of the mother who has lost her husband and now has to support her children with her measly salary as a house cleaner.
You can even make your niat as zakat if you want, thus fulfilling your obligation as a muslim.
Your letters (because you will treat the child like your own child and write him/her letters) will give him/her hope that his/her lives did not end when his/her home was forcefully taken away. It will show them that someone out there, still remembers them, and still cares for them. In return, the child will write to you, and to have a child call you 'mother' or 'father' even though he/she has never met you, is an indescribable feeling.
Your efforts will not be just for palestinians now, but will be for palestinians of the future.
To do this, you can contact the Malaysian Sociological Research Institute, at msri.sponsorship@gmail.com or call (6)03- 4257 8649 .
You can even tell them you heard it from me, if you want. I dont mind at all.
If you think you can't afford to sponsor a child, do number 3. Forward this email to someone who you think can. Or do number 4, tell people that this program exists.

May Allah reward you justly for your efforts.

slow and bumpy start

I hope it's not too late to wish everyone Happy New Hijrah year 1430 and Gregorian Year 2009!

This year started a little bumpy.

My internet is intermittent :P, really killing my mood to blog.
I got a little sick on new year's day, perhaps due to my over enthusiasm of having a few Hajis and Hajjahs over for a potluck high tea. After almost a week, my nose is still blocked and I am still coughing a bit, but at least I'm not woozy all the time.
Then I heard about someone who barely know me accusing me of talking bad about her behind her back and that she'd never forgive me ever.
wth.I dont know whether it's true (that she thinks of me that way) because the last time I met her she seemed okay and friendly, and this piece of news did not come from the horse's mouth.
I dont know what to make of it.
Perhaps this is my punishment for reading so much piah before I went for Hajj. (Tu lah dia.. seronok sangat baca orang lain mengutuk orang lain, sekarang kita pulak kena kutuk.. mmmrasakan!)

In other news though,
I am determined to get meself a sewing machine!!
I have set my eyes on a bernina, but I havent visited the shop yet coz of the cold weather and my health. Thinking of asking a friend to come along and help me choose, coz I know zilch about sewing machines.
We have officially launched Ops Jalan Sakan (Operation Travel Lots). It started with that trip to Qatar (I will blog about it soon, I promise!). We're trying to go somewhere interesting and new at least once a month, if health and weather permits. I already have a Desert Rose expedition in Abqaiq, visit to oasis in Hofuf, visit to Old Diriyah in Riyadh, camping in Udailiyah and the week-long road trip to UAE and Oman in our list. Insya-Allah, we'll explore this peninsula as much as we can before we move back home!

So what's up with you?

Hajj Lessons

Alhamdulillah, I am back home safely.

If you don't mind, I won't be writing much on my experience. Not because I dont want to share, but because I am afraid if I write too much, I would be prone to riak (boasting?) or might induce other people to make fitnah from misconception.

But I do would like to share this:
Performing the Hajj is truly like going to battle. You leave your family behind, you take along only the essentials and you make do with whatever we have.
But the battle is not only physical, it was also emotional, psychological and spiritual.
I believe that Allah gives you lessons to learn everyday, irregardless of whether you are on Hajj or not, but somehow during that period, perhaps due to the situation, lessons seems to be more intense and you are somewhat forced to learn it.

I learned a very shocking thing about myself during this hajj.
I learned that even though I consider myself to be a very open minded, understanding and polite person, deep down inside I am actually very presumptuous and judgemental.
My mom's main advice to me was to watch what I say and to try to keep my mouth shut and refrain from giving my opinion whenever I feel the need to (for she surely knows her daughter well). I did not heed my mother's advice. I admonished someone close to me for being judgemental, only to realize that I myself was being judgemental of her. I hurt her feelings and was wrecked with guilt until I approached her for forgiveness. Truly we are meant to be friends, because she forgave me, masya-Allah.

I realize that each and everyone who went for the hajj has their own private battles and private lessons to learn. You really need to learn the lesson on your own, no one is going to take you aside and point out to you what you need to learn. Being confined in terms of space and schedule really force you to really look into yourself and discover and think about who you really are and what you want to become.
They tell you to do alot of dzikr and reading the Qur'an and think about Allah, and even though you do it for Allah, I discovered that all those actually benefited me more than I can explain. It kept me away from doing wrong things, it reminded me of what was important in life, and masya-Allah, I even found a verse that provided a solution to a dillema that I have been struggling with for most of my life. Truly, Allah is great.
Even when I thought a situation is bad, friends all around remind me that Allah is All-knowing and he's trying to teach me a lesson, I think about Allah and try to find the lesson in the bad situation, and Alhamdulillah, I got through it.
I never understood it when people come back from Hajj say they had a 'beautiful experience', but now I do. Masya-Allah.

Insya-Allah, I have prayed for all of you to have peace, happiness and good health.
May Allah grant my prayers and accept my hajj. Amin.

p/s I'd do another post on tips for Hajj (i.e. what to bring, what to do). But maybe in a few days, okay, coz I still need to do laundry then pick up my kids (Gosh, I missed them so much!!)

Preparing Myself - Ready to go

Alhamdulillah, I think I have everything I need.
I leave everything else to Allah.

Please pray for the safety of my children.
Please pray for Hajj that is mabrur (accepted by Allah) and a safe return, for my husband and I.

my number is on my FB account if you have last minute requests for me to make du'a for you.
Insya-Allah, I will pray for all my family and friends, happiness, health and baraqah, and if you are a muslim (or will be become one in the future), I will also pray that you will get the opportunity to perform your own Hajj & Umrah.
Insya-Allah.

p/s thankyou for all the well wishes and advice you have given me via this blog, FB, email and sms.. forgive me if I have not had time to reply to you.

Preparing Myself - Leaving the kids

I've been preparing the kids about being away for us for 10 days since the day we decided to go for Hajj (about 2,3 months ago). I consulted them on who they would like to stay with. I told them why I needed to go and why I couldn't bring them along like when we were going to Umrah. I briefed them on what was the acceptable and expected behaviour at someone else's house (make the bed, clean up messes, help wash dishes, take care of your own laundry). I told them to pray for my safety after they solat. I also told them that their dad is going to come back home with a surprise (bald head). They keep urging to me to tell them what it will be, but Taufik and I said it wouldnt be a suprise if I told them.

Izani had been watching me pack these last few weeks and he's been asking me
"Yee goin?" (Where are you going?) and I've been telling him I was going to Makkah and when he says "I wan go makah" (I want to go to Makkah) I would tell him "You will stay with Auntie Ana, and I'd tell him he'd get to eat currypuffs and watch TV and watch Ben10 and Dinosaurs and he was happy with the response.

So yesterday we sent the kids to Kak Ana and Ahmad Shah's house. We spent about 3 hours there, assuring ample time for the kids to know the family and their kids, telling them how to prepare Izani's milk, what my kids like/dont like to eat and such. Kak Ana and Ahmad Shah have been helping to take care of people's kids many times before, so I was assured that my kids will be safe.

When it was time to say goodbye, Anis and Ilham came and hugged me tight. Ihsan, however, was bawling his eyes out. He was asking why he could go with me, he promised he'd be good and would hold tightly to my hand so that he wouldnt get lost. I tried to explain to him why I thought it would be dangerous for him to come along, but yet I was also reluctant to tell him of all the dangers coz I was worried if he would think that his parents would be in danger. SO I tried to appease him by telling Ilham to let Ihsan play with the computer. Ihsan finally calmed down after Taufik gave him 10riyals for pocket money. hee hee.

Izani ...
was totally hunky dory! He kissed me, hugged me and said "I laf yew bodha" (I love you Bonda) and went back to eat his carrot. When I was waving the kids goodbye as we drove away, Izani was all smiles and waving at me "bye bye, bye bye!".
Sheesh.

I didn't cry.

Until it was time for bed, and I was checking my alarm on my phone and saw izani's face on the screen saver.
dang.
I lay in bed looking at the empty spot in between Taufik and I where Izani usually sleeps, and I could almost feel him hugging me and his tiny peck on my lips as he would say "goo nite bodha, i laf yew bodha". I could smell his lotion and powder on my pillow.
I lost it then.
I asked Taufik whether he thought the kids would be asleep then. We had been re-packing our bags so it was almost 11:30pm, so Taufik said it'd be too late to call.
*sigh*

I called them at 9am this morning.
Izani was still asleep, only Ilham wanted to talk to us. Ihsan and Anis was at the computer and couldnt care less.

hokay.
One less worry on my mind.
Now, concentrate on hajj!

Preparing Myself - 4 days to go.

So ..
logistic wise, everything is confirmed.
We're leaving on 4th Dec (Thursday, 6th Dzul-Hijjah), coming back on the 12th (14th Dzul-Hijjah).
We'll be performing Umrah (Tawaf Qudum & Saei) at Masjidil Haram the night we arrive, then only go to our hostel. We'll be staying in Awali, a suburb of Makkah, for the 2days.
On the 7th (9th DzulHijjah), we'll move after fajr to Arafah and spend most of the day there. After maghrib we'll make a move to Muzdalifah.
After midnight on the 8th (10th DzulHijjah), we'll leave Muzdalifah and head for masjidil Haram and perform our Tawaf ifadhah and saei and tahallul and be free of our ihrams. (Taufik is going to shave his head! eeeps!!)
In the afternoon we'll leave for Mina to stone Jamratul Aqobah, then rest for the night at the camp.
We'll spend the 9th (11th DzulHijjah) in Mina, hopefully using up the battery on my handphone reading Qur'an and reciting dzikir, insya-Allah, then stone the 3 jamrats after Isya'.
On the 10th (12th Dzulhijjah), after fajr, we'll return to Awali, or maybe not, depending on the camp conditions in Mina (if it's comfortable, we may just stay). If we do go back to Awali, we will travel to Mina at night to stone the 3 Jamrats for the 2nd time, and spend the last night there.
On the 11th (13th DzulHijjah), we will stone the 3 jamrats after dzuhr, for the last time, then head for Makkah for Tawaf Wida'. That night we will head for Taif Airport.
Our flight will leave Taif at 7:30am and arrive Dammam around 11:00am, Insya-Allah.

I have packed my bags. I've bought socks and other essentials. I have sewn a few slip on tudungs. All I still need is a cardigan, and a small bag for the nights in Mina.
I have written all the du'a-s everyone have asked to make for them. I have yet to write down my own (and list everyone who have passed that I want to pray be placed in jannah).
I have downloaded dzikrs and some surahs with translation into my phone for me to listen to while on the bus or if I feel like sewing instead of reading.

I still have not finished writing down my will. I am procrastinating for some reason.

My kids will be staying with a family friend. They have 4 children of their own, 3 of which are older girls. The wife is a good cook and she loves to cook, so I am assured that my kids wont go hungry. Incidently they will also be taking care of 4 other children from a friend of ours who are coming with us, so they will have 12 children in their house! Allah bless their souls for being so kind and helpful in our time of need!
I havent packed their bags, will do that on Wednesday. I have written a note to their teachers to excuse them on Wednesday (It's the last day of school anyways).
Still need to buy cereal and snacks for the kids.
I have bought activity books for them to use so that they dont get bored.
I have trained Ilham to basuh bontot izani.

I have been dilligent in my solat and making sure I do it on time.
I have performed Solat Tawbah.
I have sent an email to a friend whom I felt I have wronged. She forgave me.
I have called my mom and family to ask for forgiveness. I will call my dad on Thursday before I leave. He always knows how to assure me.
I have stopped reading piahzadora and pray I will not go there again.

hm.. so why do I still feel like I am not ready?
It's normal to feel nervous, yes?

fishing for ideas

Hypothetically speaking lah kan,
if I am compiling my easy peasy recipes into a book,
what (which or what kind of recipes) would you like to see in it
and into what categories should I divide them into?
Would you like pictures?

P/s
please take a moment to vote on my poll ------------------------>
p/p/s
If you think my recipes suck, please do leave a comment on why it does and how it can be improved.
Dont be a d*ck when people are trying to be productive.

Bus Rants

I just need to vent this out.

My kids go to school with the bus service provided by the compound. We mothers of the children that go to school on that bus take turns to become the bus monitors. Bus Monitors have to make sure that children are following the rules to ensure their safety, i.e. take attendance (to make sure no child is left behind), put their seat belts on, no eating/drinking in the bus (though I do allow them to drink water during the hot summer months), no shouting, verbal/physical abuse or bad language on the bus.

Today I get a call from the bus coordinator (she's like the 'head' of the bus monitors lah), telling me that the management asked her to remind us of the bus rules and remind us to enforce the bus rules. I agree with all the bus rules accept for one - in the past few months my children have been complaining that they are not even allowed to TALK in the bus.
My children get stressed out every time they have to go to school (especially if they see that the bus monitor on duty is going to be one of these two particular moms) because they know it's gonna be 2 long boring, rigid bus ride to/from school.
I mean, these are children, and you expect them not to talk? come on.
I argued this point with the bus coordinator, and she says it's distracting the bus driver, and she pointed out that I seem to be the only one who's complaining about this rule. She said the kids need to only keep quiet for 20 to 30 minutes, that's all. Knowing my kids (and myself), keeping quiet for even 5 minutes is torture! Especially when you've just come back from school, and looking forward to chucking your books and playing outside. Especially when you're sitting next to your friend.

Am I really the only one who thinks this rule is too much?
Or am I being unreasonable about it?

How can I implement this rule when I don't believe in it?
If I flout it, I would be setting a bad anti-establishment example to my kids. But if I enforce it, I'd be going against my own principles.

Perhaps I need to find a way around it.
Teach the kids (not just mine, mind you, the whole bus!) how to have fun, without talking (too loud). Whispering game? hm.. maybe that would actually work.
*light bulb*

Preparing Myself

I'm preparing myself for hajj. It excites me, yet scares me. I'm excited that I will be able to carry out the 5th pillar of my religion, but I am scared if something happens and I will not be able to do it for some reason. I am scared that even if I was able to do it, it is not 'as good' as others.

I keep thinking of things that I have done wrong, or I have not yet done (like, bila nak start ganti puasa nih? isy isy isy). I keep thinking about what if I had unintentionally hurt someone's feelings through my jokes or sessi menyakat or if I am tak sedar diri ter-mulut laser... will that bear weight on my hajj? Will some sins i've commited in the past be my obstacle to my journey?
Then again, I've managed to do my umrah before, so perhaps I should be confident, that I will once again be accepted to be a guest in His 'house'?

Sometimes I feel the need to distract myself and while I'm clicking on sudoku numbers I tell myself have faith have faith, don't get discouraged by your fears, just do your best, he is Ar-Rahman, Ar-Rahim, loving and forgiving. You take one step towards God, and He will repay you ten-fold if not more. Right?