Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Just Playing


I think Izani can see now, coz he's smiling! (at you, as opposed to just smiling right before he belches)
This morning he was making complaining noises and I tested him to see if he wanted milk (put my knuckle on his cheek, if he turns to grab it with his mouth, he's hungry), and he did, so I propped him up on my pillow while I went to make milk.
When I got back, I saw him looking at me intently and curiously.
I greeted him with an excited "Hello, baby!" and gave him my biggest smile.
and he smiled back!!
(sorry, no pictures.. I think the camera is in Taufik's car)

So today I had fun playing making faces with him. Just sitting face to face and trying to extract a smile or an expression. He smiled and 'laughed' (wide open smile that shows his gums) several times, but there were also confused, cross-eyed looks.
All babies are cross-eyed at first, right?


We were playing a spelling game last night (as usual, at the dinner table). Taufik would give a word for Ihsan to spell and I'd give a word for Ilham to spell.
Anis pun nak menyebok, she wanted to join in, so she started saying "my turn, my turn!" so I gave her something I knew she could spell, which was her name, and she proudly spelled it.
Then she said "my turn, my turn" again, and this time she wanted to give the word, and she said "How to spell 'Monda'?"
and Ihsan started spelling, "M. O. .."
"No!!" Anis said,"it's B, Abam" (Abam='Abang', big brother)
"But you said 'Monda' ..." Ihsan protested, "that is spelled with an M"
"I said Bonda" she corrected, which Ihsan then spelled correctly.

Anis also likes to imitate Twinkle from Higglytown Heroes .. she'd go "Oh I know, I know!"
The only thing she doesnt do is go "aw.. pickles!"


This is Ihsan's new favourite song:
5 little monkeys, jumping on the bed
one fell off and hurt his head
mom called the doctor and the doctor said..
"No more monkeys jumping on the bed!"

4 little monkeys, jumping on the bed
one fell off and hurt his head
mom called the doctor and the doctor said..
"No more monkeys jumping on the bed!"


1 little monkey, jumping on the bed
one fell off and hurt his head
mom called the doctor and the doctor said..
"Send the monkeys off to bed!"

I think he learnt it from Bear (In the Big Blue House, not diah's bear)


Ilham is still trying to get a hang of rollerblading. He still falls down sometimes. When we go out on our walks, sometimes he gets tired and would whine for one of his siblings to come and tow him.
It looks kinda fun, really. Ilham would hold on to Ihsan's shoulders and Ihsan would walk or run, whichever seems exciting at the moment.
Sometimes Anis would tow Ilham, and she would do it with neighing sounds and she would do a little trot.
There's a particular bit of the compound that the kids like. It has a slight hill. Ihsan would patiently tow his brother up the hill, then as they reach the peak, he would watch out for traffic. He'd ask his brother "ready?" and without waiting for an answer, he would run down the hill. Both of them would scream "Rollercoaster!!!!" with glee till they reach the bottom of the 'hill' and cross to the other side to the road. Anis would run and scream along.
They'd do that till Taufik and I have caught up with them and told them it's time to move on.

ah.. the simple pleasures of childhood..

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Baby Boom, Unexpected Reunions and Baby Sitting

Baby Boom

I don't know if it's something in the water, or it's the weather, or what, but most of the M'sian ladies who recently located here are/were expecting.
I just gave birth 6 weeks ago, and day before yesterday one of the other ladies gave birth to a baby girl. There's this lady who just moved from Q@tar who's due in August. We found out 2 months ago that 2 other ladies are expecting. And I just found out last week that the lady who leads and guides us in our weekly Quran recital sessions is also expecting!
(Gee, maybe it's a sign for you!)
Izani's going to have lotsa friends to play with :)

Unexpected Reunions

I had two unexpected reunions with old acquaintences in the past few days.

I was transferring my fictional jam from m0dblog to here and discovered that 11 months ago, Kak Su, my roomate when I was in UIUC, had left a comment on one of my posts asking me whether I was who I was. She left an email address, so I emailed her back, half expecting to discover that the address has expired or become inactive due to my lateness in replying. I was glad to instead, get a reply from her on the very next day!! Woo hoo!!

And today, I got an email from Jagung, my roomate when I was 17 in EmmaRessEmm Kuantan (actually, we've been good friends since we exchanged eyebrow-raising across the dorm building the 2nd day I entered the boarding school. We were good together,"Jagung and Joe"). She somehow found me through g00gle or something, and then got my email address from dory (thanx, luv). I was so excited when I saw her name in my Inbox. I sent her a huge hug via email coz I have missed her so much. So we're now catching up.

In both of the emails, we updated on what's going on in our lives and what we've become. Kak Su works in IT, and Jagung is working as an editor for a publisher. It amazes me how we have ambitions and for some reason life steers us in different paths. I told Kak su how my friend in UIUC is now a Professor and i'm.. well, a housewife. Jagung would be the last person I thought would be an editor coz she had so wanted to be a gynae when we were in school. I think people were expecting me to be an editor or writer of some sorts.
But as I told Kak Su, different people are blessed in different ways. I may not have achieved fame for my engineering feats but when I look at my children's faces, I do feel a sense of achievement, and fullfilment. I am sure Kak su and Jagung find their satisfaction and fullfilment in different ways too, ways that I may be lacking in. :)

I am looking forward to renewing my ties with them! :D :D

Baby Sitting

I'm in a dillema about letting my older kids babysit Izani.
Even though I appreciate the assistance, I worry because they get too courageous and adventurous with the baby sometimes.
I don't ask them to carry the baby around, coz I know for sure they can't do that, so usually I just ask them to watch him, make sure the baby don't roll over and off the couch or bed or something and to call me if Izani wakes up and start to wail.
But they insist on picking him up, without my knowledge!

The other day I heard Izani cry while I was in the shower, and when I came out, Anis has him lying on her tummy (on the bed) and she was rolling and rocking left and right and saying "baby gemuk, it's okay its okay" (gemuk=fat). I wanted to scream in fright coz she might roll over on top of him, but I caught myself (coz I don't want to completely scare her off looking after her baby brother .. tee hee). So I told her sternly that next time she should not pick up her brother but should call me, because Izani *is* gemuk and would be too heavy for her.
She said okay, but the next time she outran me and got to the baby before I did, she had almost got off the bed with him. Oh horrors!!

Ihsan is a little more careful with the baby. He would only have Izani if he was sitting up on the couch, and the baby is lying across his lap. Even then, he would hold the baby tight (coz I told him to). Sometimes he'd ask to let him feed Izani and even though I taught him to not force the bottle and to take it out if Izani starts coughing or choking, I still don't dare to leave him alone with the baby.

Ilham would be the most adventurous. The other day I had left Izani downstairs in the car seat coz he was still asleep and I went upstairs to change, and when I came out of my room, Ilham had brought Izani upstairs (still in the carseat though). I don't dare imagine what would've happened if Ilham had tripped on the stairs with the heavy carseat.

All this is on top of the numerous cuddling, smooching, smothering and hugging that Izani gets from his 3 elder siblings, almost around the clock, until i shoo them away coz the baby needs his sleep.
I am proud that the older ones love the baby so much that they want to constantly take care of it, but sometimes I want them to keep a distance, for safety reasons.
I found that the only time they'd be scampering away from the baby is when he had pooped a huge pile and needs to be changed!

Saturday, May 27, 2006

heads up

writing that story yesterday made me wanna archive my old stuff from m0dblog to here.
I don't know whether you'll get alerts, but if you do, and suddenly find yourself reading something you've read before, you know what's going on.

go read on izani. I'll be updating that in a few .. urm.. hours.. heh heh


Friday, May 26, 2006


Tina parked her car in her mother's driveway and decided to sit in it for awhile before stepping out and walking into the house.
She takes a deep breath to gather courage.
I can do this, she thought.
I think I've put up with this for long enough. They should hear me out. They should listen to me for a change. I'm sick of being the scared one.
She told herself, while checking out her eyes in the rear view mirror. The traces of redness and puffiness were no longer there.
She caught a glimpse of her mother's potted plants in the reflection. The bright, strong colours shining back at her. What a contrast to her pale skin.

When she stepped into the house, the smell of freshly baked muffins and the tinkling of the brass bells that her mom installed on the front door welcomed her.
"Tina, is that you?? We're all in the kitchen" she heard her sister called out.
She walked towards the back of the house, shedding her scarve along the way.
Her mother and her sister, Lily, was sitting at the kitchen table with a coffee mug each.
"What took you so long? I thought I heard your car drive up almost 10 minutes ago" her mom asked.
She took a mug from the mug tree sitting on her mom's counter top while she tried to come up with an answer.
"I.. uhm.. I forgot to put on my lipstick" she managed to lie while pouring herself some coffee, and flashed her mom a sheepish grin.

"Okay, now that you're here, let's get down to business" Lily said, putting down the muffin she was nibbling on.
Tina sat next to Lily and glanced at the notepad that her sister was scribbling on.
"So, we've decided we should do the party next-next Sunday, which is the 15th. Can you make yourself free?" Lily asked.
"Sure" Tina answered, slowly sipping the coffee while stealing a look at the guest list.
They discussed the menu and argued over what should be served with the lamb soup, rice or just bread rolls. Tina didn't even remember what was decided. She was distracted by the guest list.

"Set then. Can you call the caterer? I mean, since you know them better than I do.. Mom and I will handle calling up the relatives to invite them." Lily finally said.
Mom stood up to wash her mug and Tina decided to say something before she leaves the table.
"Uhm.. about the relatives.. will you .. will you be inviting him?" She hesitantly asked.
"him? who?" Tina's mother feigned ignorance.
"you know.. " Tina won't even say his name.
"Oh, of course." Mom says, and started to walk away. "It would be awkward if we didn't. You don't mind do you?"
"Actually, mom, I do mind" Tina said, trying not to look at her mother and betray her dissapointment that they still did not get it.

"but honey, what would people say? How would he feel if he knew he was the only one not invited?" Mom argued.
Lily just sat there, looking at Tina wide-eyed, but with a blank expression that says i'm not getting into this.
"What about how I feel about him being there, mom? Doesn't that count?" Tina tries hard to control her tone of voice. She has to stay strong. She cannot shake.
"Well," Mom acts a bit flustered, not knowing where to put her mug. "Your feelings do matter, love, but you've been okay with him being around before.."
"That's the problem. I was always the one who has to give in, who has to endure, who has to do the dodging and avoiding. I'm tired mom. I won't do it anymore." Tina's voice raised a note.
There was an awkward silence. Lily let out a gentle cough.

"It's either me or him, mom. If you invite him, then I won't come." Tina said finally.
"Honey, that's unreasonable." Mom sighed and finally put her mug in the kitchen sink. "Can't we just forgive and forget?"
"Forgive and forget???" Tina started to sound abit hysterical, but she collected herself. "No mom, even if I can forgive, I can never forget what he did to me. Besides, he never ever did come to me to apologize or say anything. He's acting as if nothing ever happened and that it doesnt affect him. But it affects me, mom. It affects me a lot." Tina tries to make her mom understand.
"Don't you think you're over-reacting though, Tina?" Mom says in the calmest voice she could muster, " I mean, it happened so long ago. And anyways it's not like he raped you or anything". She said it with a shrug, as if trying to let it slide off her.
Tina felt like pulling out her hair.
"The fact that he did it to me when I was so little should make it all the more disgusting. And just because he didnt stick his dick inside me, does not mean that he. did. not. rape. me." Tina tired so hard not to scream, that the words came out through clenched jaws.
Lily gasped and covered her mouth.
"You do not use that language inside my house, young lady" Mom glared from behind the kitchen counter. Tina pictured her mother wringing the dish towel she was using to wipe dry the mug she was holding a minute ago.

Tina buried her face in her hands.
"I just don't want him to be around me, mom" Tina sighed "And I'm tired of running away. I was hoping that you, of all people, would understand, or at least, agree and support me".
Mom put her mug back on the mug-tree in silence. Lily stood up from the table and brought her mug to the kitchen sink and started to wash it. Tina just sat there at the table. Waiting. Waiting for someone to understand.
Tina feels like giving up. Perhaps she should just accept whatever is being dished out to her. That is certainly much easier than having to go through this.

"Okay." her mom sat back down at the table.
Tina looked up to face her mom.
"If it makes you feel better, I won't invite him" Mom said, "but what will I say when the others ask why?" her eyes challenged her daughter.
"Tell them the truth." Tina said bravely.
Mom shook her head.
"Then tell them to ask me." Tina said courageously, feeling like she's finally climbed the hardest part of the mountain. "Then I'll tell them the truth"
Her mom looked at her doubtingly "Wouldn't you feel ashamed?"
"You know what mom, I think it's high time I stopped feeling ashamed" Tina tapped the table for effect. "It's high time that he should be the one who is shamed for what he did. I should stop being scared of meeting him. He should be scared of meeting me. I should stop worrying about who knows my secret. He should start worrying about who knows about the secret he made me keep all the years. I should stop shrinking. I should.. I want to start to shine again."
For the first time since the conversation started, Tina saw Lily, who was behind the kitchen counter, smile and look at her with pride.

Two weeks later, they were back in the kitchen. This time it was filled with the aroma of spices wafting out of the huge pot of lamb soup. Lily was ladeling soup into large tureens. Tina was piling bread rolls in a cotton-lined basket, while Mom was busy chatting with guests outside.
Tina was setting the bread basket on the buffet table when she saw the car pulling in to park at the roadside in front of the house.
Her heart sank.
She turned and looked for her mother.
She finally found her mother in the kitchen, listening to her aunt rave about the delicious soup and can she have a bowl of it to take home?
"I can't believe you invited him, mom" Tina interrupted.
"Tina, please, honey, I just want you to learn to forgive him" her mother pleaded. Her aunt looked on, slightly confused.
"You still don't get it, mom" Tina said, and went to grab her car keys.
She stormed out of the house, brushed by her tormentor at the front door, and headed for her car.

Lily caught her just as she was backing out of the driveway.
"Tina.." Lily tried to reason through the driver's window, "Please understand.. you're asking her to choose between her brother and you".
Tina stopped the car and looked at Lily.
Lily saw for the first time how much her sister is hurt.
"The thing is, Lily, it's obvious that she already made a choice. She chose him over me." Tina swallowed hard. "Why didn't she choose me?"
Lily let her go.
Tina drove off, watching her mother's house look smaller and smaller in the rear view mirror.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

AI 2006: Final 2

Kat was, as usual, stunningly beautiful today, but unfortunately it takes more than perky b00bs to win the competition (in my opinion). I thought her repeat performence of Black Horse Cherry Tree was so-so, and not as spectacular as the first time we saw it. I wasnt suprised that she picked to sing Somewhere Over The Rainbow again, and she did a good job of it. Her downfall, to me, was when she performed My Destiny. She came off really amateurish, and she lost all control of her voice towards the end. I think she was trying too hard to do vocal acrobatics and lost it, like she is wont to do in her previous performences.

Taylor, on the other had, exuded professionalism. Each and every one of his performence was world class. I thought he totally rawked with Leavin For the City, and the only thing lacklustre about Levon was the song (I always found the song a bit boring, I thought he sang it pretty well.). I totally loved Make You Proud. He really outshone Kat then.

Now, I just hope that the voters see that, and not just be bedazzled by Kat's beauty.

Was there a girl in a headscarve in the audience when they showed Ben Stiller?

Monday, May 22, 2006

Easy Peasy Birthday Cake & Kuih Bakar

If you really want to impress your kid, bake him a birthday cake . Doesn't matter if it's a cheat recipe or if it's made from scratch. They can't tell the difference anyways. But make sure he is old enough to appreciate it. I think any kid above 4 years old would notice if you've made something special for him/her.

Easy Peasy Birthday Cake

One box of Betty Crocker Cake Mix (any flavour, but in my house, it's gotta be Chocolate)
Heavy whipping cream (1/2 box)
cream cheese (200gm box)
4 tablespoons of icing sugar (or more if you like it sweeter)
2 tablespoons of chocolate drink powder (Milo, ovaltine, whatever. can be substituted with appropriate coloring/flavour)
Chocolate rice or colorful sprinkles.
Mini marshmallows

Bake the cake per instructions on box. (Note: for mine, I added 2 tablespoons of cocoa powder into the mix and folded in half a packet of hershey's semi-sweet chocolate chips before pouring into the cake tin).
Beat cream cheese, sugar and choc drink powder till soft and well mixed. Add in whipping cream and whip till mixture is thick enough to spread.
Spread cream cheese frosting on cake, arrange marshmallows in child's name or age, sprinkle chocolate rice as contrast.

I know I said that I was going to spell Ilham's name, but there wasnt enough space, so I did the number '8' (his age) instead.
Variations: decorate the cake with tiny figurines/toys of his favourite hobby or character.
Guaranteed smiles.
He even requested (REQUESTED! I didnt even have to suggest it or twist his arm!) to bring the leftover cake to school for his class teacher and friends. He came home today telling me how much they loved it. Yay!!

I got this next recipe from Sunflora. She served me this delicious dessert when I was at her house and I asked her where she bought it and was very glad to know that she made it herself and that the recipe was crazy simple (senang giller). She wrote it down for me and I tried it last night. Took me less than 10 minutes to mix everything.

Easy Peasy Kuih Bakar (Baked Custard?)
1 bowl eggs (crack eggs in a bowl till the bowl is full)
1 bowl sugar
1 bowl flour (plain white flour)
2 bowl coconut milk
1 teaspoon all spice (I subtituted with vanilla)

It's all about the volume. Make sure you get the volume proportions right.
Pre-heat oven to 325Farenhite. Wipe baking pan with some cooking oil and pre-heat the pan in the oven.
Mix all ingredients in a bowl (i just used an egg beater).
Pour into pre-heated pan (mixture should sizzle a bit), bake for 45 minutes.
Result should be golden yellow and very soft. If it's slightly brown at the edges and hard (like mine, below), that means you've overcooked it. But it's still really gooood!

Sunday, May 21, 2006

Ilham is 8 today!

Today is Ilham's 8th Birthday, so we made a doll of him together. He chose the outfit and we chose the features together. I started out with Taufik's doll and amazingly he recognized that the doll looked like his ayah :). Each time I would changed a feature, I'd ask him, "Does this look like you?".
Anyways, here's what Ilham looks like as a doll:
elouai's doll maker 3

So how has he progressed in the past year?
1. He has improved his English a lot. He speaks more english than malay now. He also speaks in a mixture of accents.. english and american (shich sunflora labelled as 'canadian' ha ha).
2. He has improved his Math, a lot!
3. He has learnt to ride a bicycle on his own.
4. He has learnt how to rollerblade, with the help of his father.
5. He is more patient with his siblings (but sometimes he still gets a bit frustrated with them).
6. He has the confidence and knowledge to handle money, he just needs to learn to value money.
7. He is more confident with himself, especially when expressing his opinions.
8. He takes a bigger part in household chores and does it willingly (i.e. vacuum and wash dishes and take out the garbage).
He still needs his brother to 'teman' him to the toilet and he can't sleep alone, though.. we need to work on that.

Taufik offered to buy him an ice-cream cake, but he wanted a chocolate cake, so I decided to bake him one. I already baked the cake in the morning, later I'm gonna make some whipped cream topping and put on chocolate sprinkles and spell his name out with mini marshmallows :)


Edited to add:
Happy Birthday to 'bapak-tak-larat-angkat' Ilham - The Elusive Mr. R !! Happy .. hm.. 33rd(?) Birthday! (Ilham was born on his birthday)
And Happy Belated Birthday to Zharif too!! (macamana auntie boleh lupa nih..?) Zharif is now 2 years old!

For Adam, Aiysha and Aliya

Mokciknab's kids requested stories on my kids.

Ilham wrote a letter to me the other day.
Dear Bonda,
Just now I heard Ayah say a bad word. He said bullsh1t on the phone. Please scold him because I know bullsh1t is a bad word.

Then he drew a small 'wanted' poster with Taufik's face on it, and a caption 'For saying bullsh1t' underneath.

Ihsan announced that he had invented a new weapon. It's called a "Spender Gun" (spender=briefs, underwear). He said it's just like a rubberband sling.
So his father suggested that he bring it to school for Show and Tell (his class has show and tell every wednesday). So we discussed how he should do the show and tell. Start with showing the spender and asking his audience "Do you know what this is?". Taufik suggested that if somebody doesn't know, then Ihsan should aim the gun at the person. But Ilham came up with a better idea. He said "Or you can ask, Can I have a volunteer?".
We pictured Ihsan standing in front of the class with his green underwear that has a picture of an excavator on the front, explaining to his friends how his Spender Gun works. We also tried to imagine Mrs. Snieder's face. We laughed so hard we almost choked on our rice.

Anis was reading Sunflora's daughter's ABC book and she was going
"L, for Lion. M for Monkey. N, for .. Telur!"
Next to N was a picture of a Nest, and Telur=Egg.

We were halfway to Riyadh and the kids were sleeping when I suddenly heard a continuous "k k k" sound coming from the back seat. I turned around and found that Anis was awake and was practising making her "k" sounds.

Today is Ilham's birthday, but I'll blog about that later.
I updated Izani's progress.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

How do you know?

oh would you tell me, I wanna know
how can you tell if he loves me so?

How do you know if your husband really loves you?

If it's by the amount of gifts he bestows you, then I'm screwed. Coz i seldom get gifts. I used to get flowers on birthdays, but nowadays I don't even get them anymore. Forget about jewellery. He has stopped buying me those aeons ago. In fact the last gift I got was a watch. I can't remember when I got them. Last year, I think. Lingerie? *laughs* fergeddit.
So when he stops buying you gifts, does that mean he's stopped loving you?

Is it in his eyes? The way he looks at you? The way he steals looks at you?
Would it mean that when he doesnt notice what you're wearing, that he doesnt love you?

Is it in his words? Is saying "I love you" everyday enough to make you believe?
If he doesnt do that, what does it mean?

Is it in the way he supports you? Like if he pays the bills, then you don't even need to question where his heart lies?

Or maybe the way he helps you? If he mops the floor, cleans the house.. that should make you feel special?

it's in his kiss
really? So if he has stopped kissing you, or if he doesnt kiss you the way he used to, does it mean that his feelings have changed?

Maybe just being loyal should be enough? That he does not cheat on you, or look or even think of another woman, you should feel assured that he loves you?
Who needs diamonds when he's there all the time?

Don't I deserve the whole package?

meh.. I don't know where this post is going.

maybe I'm in post-partum something.

when I fell better.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

blurrness forgiven

tee hee

so I was in bed breastfeeding izani and I dozed off.
Taufik was ready to go to work, so he touched my thighs to wake me up and say goodbye.
He rubbed my tummy, gave me a kiss and said "Sayang dah kurus dah" (You've lost weight, love).
Then he grabbed my butt.

so, all forgiven !

p/s today I wore my dark blue jeans with a normal blue shirt. No more t-shirts and track pants :)

Saturday, May 13, 2006

DownUnder=ok, middleEast=so-so, husband=blurr

I got back into my jeans yesterday.
and without the aid of any girdles or corsets of any kind, if I may add..
I think this calls for a little "Yay!" :D
Verdict: my butt is still the same size (if the jeans have not stretched while it was in the closet), but my tummy area still needs a bit of work. Its a bit .. erm.. geleber (soft). I never had hard-rock-abs in the first place, but hey.. I can work on it, can't I?

So I wore my jeans proudly when I greeted Taufik at the door. He asked me to help take in the groceries.
I paraded it while preparing dinner in the kitchen and but he was too pre-occupied with transferring the rice from the gunny sack into the rice bin.
I wore it during dinner and while we watched F1.
Finally I gave up, and changed back into my comfortable track pants.

:| *sigh*

Mum's the word

I think moms really get the short end of the stick.

Think about it, to be a mom, we have to first endure living with a man. Though that experience may be pleasurable, you have to admit that it takes a lot of work. We are usually the ones who have to compromise, to sacrifice and most often that not, we are the ones who have to initiate things, or else we wont get what we want/need.

When this mission is accomplished, we then need to live through nausea, mood swings, cravings, itchy tummies, tooth-aches due to lack of calcium, paleness due to lack of iron, constipation due to excessive iron, weight gain due to increased appetite (or the rare case of dangerous weight loss due to no appetite).
As the pregnancy progresses, we get back pain due to the extra weight we're carrying, possible ugly varicose veins and we develop a bit of an inferiority complex coz we look in the mirror and see a whale.
Before the very end, we feel like someone's squeezing our insides every few minutes and we go to the hospital for assistance but instead we get poked down there every few hours. Then we are either expected to squeeze a watermelon through straw or we are cut open and stitched up.

Oh, but it's not ever yet!
We then have to content with whiny babies, sore nipples, sleepless nights, shitting what feels like rocks the size of boulder, colorado, and post-partum depression because when we look in the mirror we *still* see a whale.

From the way I see it, flowers once a year in May would not cover it.
The ground that we walk on should be worshipped every day for the rest of your lives.
(I can also live with getting diamonds once in a while). :laugh:

Happy Mother's Day!

But it's not all bad... just go read Baby Izani's latest progress.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Pengasuh Mek Fi, Gunung Patah-belakang, Rempuh

Translation: Pengasuh= Nanny, Gunung= Mountain, Patah=Broke, Belakang= Back, Rempuh= Crash.

Thanx to my dad and my siblings, I managed to watch the above movies these past few weeks, and at least 2 of them, in full.

Pengasuh Mek Fi

We watched this movie as a family 2 weekends ago and we enjoyed ourselves immensely. The kids guffawed at the naughty children’s antics while I dreamt of getting myself that magic walking stick (or at least some sort of help) and prayed that my kids don’t ever get to tie anyone up on the kitchen table.
We were captivated throughout the movie. Ilham, particularly, was so engrossed in it, that when the kids in the movie asked their dad Mr. Brown whether he loved Evangeline, Ilham burst out “Say Yes! say Yesssss!”, clenching his two fists tightly and watched the screen with such an expression of hope that Taufik and I couldn’t help laughing.
I only cried once: when C0lin F1rth ran after the carriage begging for his daughter not to be taken away.

Gunung Patah-Belakang

I didn’t get to finish watching this movie because the copy was really bad that towards the middle the images and sounds were breaking up. I only got to the part where Ennis got divorced, and even then, some bits in between were lost to me.
With all the hype surrounding it, I already knew what the movie was basically about, and watched it with an open mind, and tried to watch it like it was any other love story (coz that’s what Ang L33 wanted it to be seen as).
After watching only about an hour (before the images went kaput), I can’t help but feel that it was more of a lust story than a love story. Somehow the ‘love’ part was either not conveyed properly, or maybe it was never there.
Their first physical contact was too rushed, too ‘physical’ and lack emotional attachment that I didn’t understand how it happened at all. I expected more tenderness, more touchy-feely kinda relationship (first), or at least something that might indicate that they did fall in love with each other before they got physical. Having them go physical before they got emotionally attached somehow debased their relationship, and the story. I have never witnessed a g4y relationship blossom, but I’m sure that there’s more to it than just physical/s3xual attraction.
I haven’t watched the whole movie till the end, so maybe I’m wrong. Or maybe that’s what the story is all about.
From what I’ve seen so far, I think that Jack might be in love, but I think Ennis was more in it for the piece of the assaction. Because or else, they would’ve found a way to be together, move to L.A. or something, instead of trying to put up the whole charade.
Meh.. maybe I should hold my opinion till after I’ve watched the whole thing properly, eh?
My favourite scene so far was when Jack was driving away and he looked at Ennis walking away in his rearviewmirror. I thought that was such a touching scene. (Or maybe coz I know how it feels coz I’ve caught Taufik looking at me while he was driving away a coupla times too)
And Jake Gyllenh4ll is a superb actor.. I think he’s even better than He4th.


I really liked this movie, though I hated the language. Do people really talk with a lot of expletives in real life? I remember when I was in college, the only people who insert a swear word in every sentence they spoke were freshmen. drunk freshmen.
Anyways. I thought the movie was very very interesting. I found myself predicting what will happen next (based on my own prejudices) and is often pleasantly suprised when I am wrong. But there were also moments when I found that I was right, and felt a little dissapointed..
My favourite scene is when that little girl saved his dad. Damn. Both my mom and I gasped in horror, then relief, then I got a little teary eyed (i didnt check whether my mom cried or not).
and did I detect a little something going on between Brendan Fr4sier and his assistant?
And ugly as he is, I wanna hug D0n Che4dle.
I'm gonna watch this again.
Weirdly enough, this copy was clear and distortion free.. (Thanx Pa)

Note: The last 2 movies were watched without my kids around, and I made Anis play with the computer or go take a shower.

Monday, May 08, 2006

Don't get me wrong ...

.. I love my mom.
And I know that she loves me, because or else, she wouldnt have travelled so far to come and take care of me.
If I ever felt that I'm being sidelined by her paying more attention to my other siblings, it's only because she knows that I can take care of myself, and don't need her to dote on me all the time. (Which makes me wonder, if I were a little more whiny and pretend I am hopeless and useless and incompetent, would I get more tender loving care?)

And I know that she doesnt mean to nag.. it's just that she's from Venus and venusians just have this need to regurgitate everything that goes on in their minds. She just have the need to tell somebody. And that somebody just happens to be me, at the moment.
It's just that sometimes during the 'conversation' (and I use the term loosely coz it's usually her doing all the talking and I would just go "hm" and "uh, yeah" and "i don't know lah ma..."), i think in her mind, I would transform into the person she's talking about and her tone would change and suddenly I start to feel like I'm the one who did something wrong, or the one who needs correction/advice. That's when i get a little peeved...

But other than that, I really appreciate it that she's here, coz at least there's one extra person to pay attention to my attention seeking/deprived kids and i don't get a headache everytime 3 o=clock comes and I hear the school bus and then the doorbell and the screams of "Bondaaa......look what Ilham/Ihsan did!!" ...


Saturday, May 06, 2006

hodge podge

arrrghhh there's so much I want to say, but after reading half of my blog alerts, (some of them read while one arm is supporting izani's head while breastfeeding him), I now have to go down and prepare dinner. (Taufik bought some swakni lamb meat+bones last week and I made soup and it turned out so good that he bought some more so I'm gonna make curry today).
so short, quick statements:

. I'm glad paris is out instead of elliot. I think elliot will be out next if he does not bring it on. I want chris to stop screaming. I want kat not to stop her charm, but to start singing in tune. I want taylor to win coz I love 'Something'.

. the disadvantage of having your mom around and you're the only adult in the house most of the time is that you are the target of her conversations (read: nagging). She may be nagging at someone else, or thinking of someone else, but you are at the receiving end of the brunt of her advices/ngomelan/nagging.
Orang2 yang berkenaan, sila telefon ibu kamu supaya dia boleh membebel at you personally and say all that she feels needs to be said, because or else, she'll be saying those things to me and keep asking me to convey it to you, which is something I am SO malas to do.

. I love my mom, I really do. I'm just not used to being the centre of her attention. I'm not used to even being at the edge of her attention...

. last night I watched an old episode of X-Files. I thought of Suhai.

. Last night Ilham heard the theme song for X-files and covered his ears in terror. I think it's the same kind of spine-chilling fear that I used to get when I heard the theme for Twilight Zone when I was a kid.

. i really have to go downstairs and cook now.

adios amigos.

Edited to add: I have updated Izani's blog. Go and read!

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Doll vs. Real

okay here goes.. compare away..

I can't find a picture of me that is anywhere close to resembling the doll (read: I am not as cute or as skinny as the doll.. suprise suprise). So you people just have to use your imagination.. tee hee.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Easy Peasy Cashew Chicken

Haven't done one of these in a while, eh?
It's not that I have not been cooking, it's just that since I can't go out grocery shopping, and my mom was having digestion problems and I personally don't have the time to think about cooking creative and complicated dishes, I have been cooking only simple, boring dishes lately. Like plain soups (not even the creamy kind), omelettes and fried stuff.

Yesterday, however, what started out as a day with nothing to eat (coz Taufik couldnt go to buy groceries coz he sent his car for service), ended up with me making cashew chicken.
I had initially asked my mom to go to the compound's mini market to buy some chicken so that we could make chicken soup. She came back with a pack of frozen chicken breasts and a large potato.
I started cutting up the chicken and it turned out that there was too much chicken for soup, so I decided to set aside half of it for 'something else'. The potato was also too big, so I decided to also set half of it aside for 'something else'.
After making the chicken soup, I looked at the chicken breasts, half a potato, and some cashew nuts I had in the cupboard, I decided, oh well, why not Cashew Chicken, since I haven't had that in a while..

Easy Peasy Cashew Chicken

200grams Chicken Breasts (diced/cut up into bite sized pieces)
1tbsp. dark soy sauce (for color)
2tbsp. sweet soy sauce (for sweetness, add more if you like)
1tbsp, oyster sauce (for flavor)
1 clove garlic (finely chopped)
1 small potato (or half a large potato, cut in small dices, deep fried)
1 fistful of cashew nuts (blanched or dry roasted, u can use as much as u like)
1 large onion (diced into large pieces)
5 stalks of dried chillies (optional, cut into 1/4 inch pieces, remove seeds if you want it less spicy)

Marinate chicken in dark soy sauce, sweet soy sauce and oyster sauce.
Heat 2 tablespoons of cooking oil in a frying pan or wok, saute the garlic till fragrant. Add in the chicken with all the marinade and stir fry. Once chicken pieces are thoroughly cooked, add in the fried potatoes, cashew nuts, diced onions and dried chillies. Stir fry to evenly coat everything in sauce. Add more sweet soy sauce if you like.
Serve with white rice.

Variations: Add diced bell peppers. Substitute chicken with beef or batter fried fish.

Sorry, no pictures. I didn't have time to take them.
Because I was cooking for kids, I omitted the chillies.
This dish served 3 adults and 3 kids. Taufik would pick out the cashews and put them in my plate, while I would pick out the onions and put them in his plate. The kids would eat the potatoes.
It should taste slightly sweet&salty (and a little spicy if you added the dried chillies). This dish also goes well with rice porridge, though I would make extra marinade to add more sauce to it.

Edited on July 5th 2006:
I made Cashew Chicken again today. This time I added the dried chillies, and took a picture. So this is what it's supposed to look like ...

Monday, May 01, 2006

guess who this is?

elouai's doll maker 3

It actually looks like him. When he was younger. Coz now he wears glasses, and I couldnt find the right one. I couldnt find the right hair either, but this was close enuf.
Actually I couldnt find the right shirt either, coz he isnt really a metrosexual kinda guy, but he did have a leather jacket once, when we owned a bike, and he likes polo shirts, so this was close enuf.
somehow it turned out to look exactly like him.
isnt he so cute?
damn, i'm falling in love all over again.

dammit.. i forgot to give him shoes!
meh.. i'm too lazy to go back and put on some...

p/s db, this is all your fault!!