Sunday, May 16, 2004

Love: Stuff & Nonsense?

Mood: *smile* Playing: Stuff & Nonsense - Eddie Vedder and Neil Finn

I was kissing my husband the other day, and I had opened my eyes and looked at his face real close and suddenly felt this surge of love.
As if I've never seen his face before.
As if it was the first time I've kissed him.

Within a span of nanoseconds , i was thinking...
. we've been married for more than 10 years
. we have 3 kids
. i have kissed him like ... thousands of times
. I love him . love him love him.
. I can't imagine living without him
. but I can't depend on the future always turning the way I want it to.

It scared me and I cried.
He opened his eyes when he felt my tears on his cheek.
Hugged me and asked me why.
I couldnt explain.

Stuff & Nonsense - Split Enz

Disobey my own decisions, I deserve all your suspicion
First it's yes and then it's no, I dilly dally down to duo
But I got no secrets that I babble in my sleep,
I won't make promises to you that I can't keep

And you know that I love you
here and now, not forever
I can give you the present (presence?),
I don't know 'bout the future,
that's all stuff and nonsense

I once lived for the future, every day seem one day closer
Greener on the other side, this I believed before I met you
I soon learned your love burned brighter than the stars in my eyes
Now I know how and when
I know where and why

And you know that I love you
here and now, not forever
I can give you my present,
I don't know 'bout the future,
that's all stuff and nonsense


And you know that I love you
here and now, not forever
I can give you the present,
I don't know 'bout the future,
that's all stuff and nonsense


Is it possible to be so confident and yet so unsure about something?

Blog Comments

Posted by: nectar
Date: 5/17/04 at 12:35AM (3w2d ago)

sometimes that kind of thoughts scare me too.

Posted by: pezman32 (Offline)
Date: 5/17/04 at 8:25PM (3w2d ago)
I know the fear you are going thru. I think knowing what that pain feels like without actually feeling it is what kinda keeps me from finding someone.

I don't know the pain of losing a spouse. I do know of it first hand though. I watched a love/bond (one and the same) between two people my entire life. The woman did everything for her man, and that man did everything for her, no holds barred. Those kinds of unions are few and far between right now, and I honor those that actually share the same thing as the couple I watched for so long.

The man passed away in August of last year. The woman is now lost and learning to go on with life until it is her turn to meet him again.

The purpose of this note is, you have something very special, something blessed that a lot of todays population may or may not ever feel. I truely admire you. There's nothing like watching an ederly couple walking down the sidewalk, hand in hand. Give me goosebumps, to think true love still exists, and is stronger than ever.

Just a note: The couple I watched for all of my life was my mom and dad.

Posted by: elisataufik (Offline)
Date: 5/17/04 at 10:38PM (3w2d ago)
hey pez, thanx for writing this . it's beautiful.
i remember when my grandfather died when I was 8. i felt sad for losing him, but I didnt feel sad for my grandma. But when I got older and discovered 'love' *smile*, I remember wondering how my grandmother survived with him gone. I mean, he wasnt 100% faithful to her, but still, did she miss him? I never got to ask her that question because we didnt have that kind of relationship..
My parents, hm.. they are sorta separated.
So see, i have nothing much going on around me to assure me that I'm going to make it through. Maybe that's why I'm trying so hard. And feeling scared. I need someone to tell me: It's not in your genes!

Posted by: mamasparks (Offline)
Date: 5/18/04 at 5:36PM (3w1d ago)

somehow, i know how you is so damn complicated....reall y sucks...but at the same time, it's do we win? :)

Posted by: elisataufik (Offline)
Date: 5/18/04 at 8:29PM (3w1d ago)
I guess you don't.. coz one way or another, you will always lose the one you love..
So I guess the best thing to do is just enjoy the game! hee hee!!

1 comment:

  1. Hisham saw the creepy man on the wooden bridge that the motorcyclists used to get to the other side of the drain. He was wearing a long black robe, his face hidden under the care tips