Ilham's Party

Ilham's party was a blast!
I cooked pasta in cream sauce (which was lapped up by kids and adults alike ), my mom helped me fry some kuey teow (flat noodles). My eldest suster brought Durians and glutinous rice and coconut milk (heavenly together!)
and my brother brought fruits.
The SpongeBobSquarePants cake was so cute!! My friend Marina stuck breadsticks to make the arms and legs. I broke the legs when I was transporting the cake, but I managed to stuck them back on , but now they were shorter than the original.. LOL
But the kids didnt care, because it was SPONGEBOB!! They've never seen anything like it and they were very impressed and Ilham felt so special so that's all that matters .. :)

I blew up the inflatable kiddie pool. I had wanted to fill it up with water and play Bobing for apples but considering some kids forgot to bring a change of clothes and towels , and judging from the horiffic expression on my siblings' faces when they saw the kiddie pool , I decided to cancel it. (hey, i did tell them it was a Bikini Bottom Birthday Bash ... *duh*)
So I brought out the fishing poles and fishies with magnets on them and threw them into the dry pool and the kids had fun 'fishing'. Some of the cheeky ones (like my kids) jumped inside the pool to make sure they got fish.. Thank god I didnt fill the pool up!
We also played cartoon charades -- i gave them cartoon characters and they have to act them out and the adults have to guess. It was so funny when Ilham tried to act out 'Gary the Snail' and Ihsan did 'Samurai Jack' and his father got it straight away.
Adam tried to do the donkey from Shrek but he chose to act out a scene from Shrek2 which only a few of the adults saw so people were like confused for a while..
The party was running a bit late, so it ended up being an F1 party coz the race in Germany started at 8pm and folks stuck around for dinner watching Ralf Schumacher's car get thrown out (again) and Raikonnen's car fail him (again).

Anyways, everyone went home around 9 , and we cleaned up, and went to bed by 10 or 11ish i cant remember coz it was all a blurrrrr...

Brought leftover cake to the office today. yum yum yum !!

Someone's a year older

Mood: chirpy Playing: Happy Birthday by *ME*

Today is the birthday of 2 of my favorite people in the world:
1. Ilham, my firstborn. He is 6 today!! He was so excited this morning. :)
2. Rizwal, my best friend. He is .. hrrrmmmm... 31? I sent him a text message this morning and got back a chirpy reply. As u may have read in my previous blog, he just became a daddy less than a month ago :)

A little bit of history on how/when Ilham was born:
(Warning: stories abt giving birth are seldom exciting)
My estimated due date was 10th of May. But i waited and waited and I didnt feel any contractions or had any sign that I was gonna deliver. For a week, I went out walking, but still no sign. So my gynae said, come in on the 20th so that we can induce you (they stick a needle into you and drip some sorta drug to force a delivery).
So I did, and they induced me, and still , no delivery. So in the end (after 20 hours doing nothing but joke around with my husband in the labor room) they decided to deliver Ilham by C-Section (that means they cut you up to pull out the baby).
Good thing, cos he was a big baby! He was 3.9kg (How many pounds is that?) and the reason I could not deliver him normally was because his huge head couldnt fit into my birth canal (now I can just picture SyntheticFaith's face reading this.. LOL).
I am 5ft 2in by the way.. don't ask me how I got such a big baby if I'm so small.

So that's the story how Ilham was born on my best-friend's birthday. Incidently, my best-friend became Ilham's godfather.

Sidenote:
My 2nd son, Ihsan, shares the same birthday with my husband. He was BIGGER than Ilham. He was 4.2kg.
So expect another posting like this on the 1st of October ;)

-------------------

I'm going to Ilham's school at 3:30pm today. I'm gonna read a SpongebobSquarePants storybook to him and his friends, then we're gonna have cake.
When we get home, I'm gonna give him the walkie talkies I bought him.
I wish I had gotten walkie talkies as a kid. All I had were tin cans connected with a string.

Ilham&Ihsan's morning routine

Mood: busy busy busy Playing: I Am Mine - Pearl Jam

Originally posted on http://www.ummikusayang.com
-------------------- ------------------

This is my kids' morning routine:

1am, 2am, 3am, 4am ... 6am :
- spin around on my bed, make sure my feet touches somebody's face at least once

615am :
- Whine about not being able to open my eyes when my Ayah (Dad) wakes me up.
- sleep on my stomach to shield my eyes from the bright lights.
- wonder why my Ayah wont stop waking me up.
- Give up and sit up.
- Rub my eyes and whine some more.
- Wait for Ayah or Bonda (mom) to say something that could motivate me to walk to the bathroom. Good ones would be:
"It's X number of days till your trip to the Bread factory",
"It's X number of days till A's birthday party",
"It's X number of days to a holiday".
- Follow Ayah/Bonda to the bathroom.
- If I still can't open my eyes, whine and complain some more.
- Sit on the loo and whine and complain some more while I pee.
- Get off the loo, rinse my dickie and look for my toothbrush.
- Wait for my brother while complaining why he's not brushing his teeth.
- Brush my teeth.
- Wait for Ayah or Bonda to tell me to take a shower.
- Walk to the shower, walk around the shower gel bottle a few times till Ayah or Bonda to tell me again to take a shower.
- Walk to the shower v e r y s l o w l y.
- Wait for ayah or bonda to tell me to turn on the shower.
- Hold the shower faucet. Yawn. Wait for ayah or bonda to tell me
again to turn on the shower.
- Turn on the shower v e r y s l o w l y.
- Once the water hits my body, jump about like a lunatic and scream as loud as I can about how cold the water is, ignore whatever ayah or bonda says about feeling more fresh if the water is cold.
- Wait for ayah or bonda to ask whether I have used soap.
- Pump some shower gel in my hand, rub it into my hair and my chest only.
- If my ayah or bonda asks, then I'll consider putting soap on my
other body parts.
- Rinse off soap from my body.
- Stand by the bathroom door, jump up and down and yell "I'm done!!!!",
- shiver and complain about feeling cold.
- If my ayah or bonda notices, I'll go back and rinse off the soap in my hair. If not, I will just wipe it off with my towel. Which I
will also use to rub my face and then complain that my eyes hurt.
- Taunt my brother about being SLOW.
- Go to my room, pick out my clothes.
- Insist on wearing my batman t-shirt with the cape. Insist even if it's torn under the arm or even if it's in the washing machine.
- Insist that my brother is wearing my underwear.
- Bring all my clothes to my parent's room.
- Put on my underwear v e r y s l o w l y.
- Watch my bonda/ayah pray. Sit as if time is frozen. DO NOT PUT ON MY CLOTHES.
- If there's a book lying around, read the book. If there's a toy
lying around, play with the toy.
- Wait for ayah/bonda to tell me to put on my pants. Wait for a 'Please'.
- Put on my pants v e r y s l o w l y.
- If there's a book lying around, read the book. If there's a toy
lying around, play with the toy.
- Wait for ayah/bonda to tell me to put on my shirt. Wait for a 'Please'.
- Put on my shirt v e r y s l o w l y.
- Taunt my brother for being slow.
- Gawk at bonda putting on her headdress.
- Ask whether today is the day we go to the bread factory or if
it's A's birthday or if it's a holiday.
- If there's a book lying around, read the book. If there's a toy
lying around, play with the toy.
- Gawk at ayah while he combs his hair.
- Wait till ayah/bonda says "Okay it's time to go, lets go downstairs".
- Say "I want to comb my hair".
- Complain why parents are so cranky in the morning.

Running in the rain

Got this in the email today. Thought it was so sweet.
I wish I could have this perception for everything in life

-------------------- ------------
A little girl had been shopping with her Mom in K-Mart. She must have been 6 years old, this
beautiful red haired, freckle faced image of innocence. It was pouring outside. The kind of rain
that gushes over the top of rain gutters, so much in a hurry to hit the earth it has no time to flow down the spout.
We all stood there under the awning and just inside the door of the K-Mart.

We waited, some patiently, others irritated because nature messed up their hurried day.
I am always mesmerized by rainfall. I got lost in the sound and sight of the heavens washing away the dirt and dust of the world. Memories of running, splashing so carefree as a child come pouring in as a welcome reprieve from the worries of my day.

The little voice was so sweet as it broke the hypnotic trance we were all caught in.
"Mum, let's run through the rain," she said.
"What?" Mum asked.
"Let's run through the rain!" She repeated.
"No, honey. We'll wait until it slows down a bit, " Mum replied.
This young child waited about another minute and repeated:
"Mum, let's run through the rain".
" We'll get soaked if we do," Mum said.
"No, we won't, Mum. That's not
what you said this morning," the young girl said as she tugged at her Mum's arm.
Mum said, "This morning? ... When did I say we could run through the rain and not get wet?"
"Don't you remember?" Little girl
replied.
"When you were talking to Daddy about his cancer, you said, 'If God can get us through this, he can get us through anything!"
The entire crowd stopped dead silent. I swear you couldn't hear anything but the rain. We all stood silently. No one came or left in the next few minutes. Mum paused and thought for a
moment about what she would say. Now some would laugh
it off and scold her for being silly. Some might even ignore what was said. But this was a moment of affirmation in a young child's' life. A time when
innocent trust can be nurtured so that it will bloom into faith.
"Honey, you are absolutely right. Let's run through the rain. If GOD lets us get wet, well
maybe we just needed washing, "Mum said.
Then off they ran.
We all stood watching, smiling and laughing as they darted past the cars and yes, through the
puddles. They held their shopping bags over their heads just in case. They got soaked.
But they were followed by a few who screamed and laughed like
children all the way to their cars. And yes, I did.
I ran. I got wet. I needed washing.
Circumstances or
people can take away your material possessions, they
can take away your money, and they can take away your health. But no one can ever take away your precious memories ..
So, don't forget to make time and take the opportunities to make memories everyday. To
everything there is a season and a time to every purpose under heaven.

A friend sent this to me to remind me of life. Hope
you enjoy it.

I HOPE YOU STILL TAKE THE TIME TO RUN THROUGH THE
RAIN.
-------------------- --------------

*grin* wasnt that good? Whoever the author is, thankyou :)

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Blog Comments

Posted by: kawan (Offline)
Date: 5/19/04 at 1:41AM (21d22h ago)
that's beautiful. a few weeks ago, I had to run in the rain. why? because I was too cheap to buy a new umbrella - had too many of them but was unlucky not to bring it with me during the lunch break.

Posted by: elisataufik (Offline)
Date: 5/19/04 at 1:47AM (21d22h ago)
ha ha !! then we should write another story.. the story about the woman who has too many umbrellas and always forgets them.. tapi moral nya..
erm.. gotta think abt that

Posted by: dextrous (Offline)
Date: 5/19/04 at 5:13AM (21d18h ago)

Cool entry. It made me smile.

Posted by: Cimorene130 (Offline)
Date: 5/19/04 at 10:47PM (21d1h ago)
That's sweet. I love the rain. and if it's not lightning, i go outside walk in it.

"We've gotta phsyco on our hands. I repeat, one insane teenage girl...I need backup!"

Posted by: nectar
Date: 5/19/04 at 10:49PM (21d1h ago)

that would be a nice story

Posted by: Sihah
Date: 5/20/04 at 2:07AM (2w6d ago)
Wat a simple story and yet deep enough for enjoyment.. Are you wondering wat a zephyr is? well, it is a light, gentle breeze that blows through normally in the summer winds. Anyway, take care and if you CAN ride a zephyr, remember to bring me along yah..

nothing much, but quite a lot.

Mood: busy busy busy Playing: Zephyr (?) by RHCP

Gosh.. this next few days are going to be so busy!

Thursday:
Its visitors' day in my BNI Mtg, and I've got 2 guests coming. So gotta wake up early to make sure I get to the meeting before they do. I still have to prepare the network education and my 60seconds.. thinking of doing a testimony-type commercial. After meeting got to do some networking and hang out with my guests then I'll be off to Subang Parade (a mall) to buy stuff for Ilham's and another client's party.. After lunch , gonna come back to work. Prolly spend the night packing up Ilham's party packs.

Friday:
Is Ilham's 6th birthday. I'll be at work only in the morning, then afternoon I'll be taking off to go to Ilham's pre-school with the cake and party favors. He wanted a spongebobsquarepants birthday but I think i'll do that for the party with the family and the party at the pre-school has got to settle with Mississipi mud pie cake decorated with sea shells. Friday night will prolly be spent preparing for the client's birthday on sunday (got to blow up balloons).

Saturday:
I still have not finished Anis's fairy wings for Shasha's fairy party.. and clean up the house!!

Sunday:
Is my client Hanisah's PowerPuff birthday party in KGNS. I'm in charge of decorations and entertainment (games). It's gonna be a fun 3hours! afternoon we have invitations to Shasha's fairy party. I'm praying that I finish the fairy wings on time.

if you're confused, its coz you don't know this:
I'm currently working for a multi-national company. But, I'm thinking of quitting. And I've launched this plan to quit: I've started a side business as a party organizer. I'm building my customer base by joining BNI, and then I'm gonna finish this one project, and quit.
Based on my plan, I was supposed to quit in February. But my project deadline keep getting postponed because of hardware unavailablity. I don't feel good about leaving things unfinished. And my customer base is growing!! So I'm now like juggling 2 jobs..

so if I'm like 'missing' for the next few days, you know what I'm doing.. ;)

Show & tell

Mood: cheeky Playing: Supercallifradgillisticexpialadocious

Sunday morning I got a call from my sister who asked me if I knew the kids were supposed to bring pets to school for show and tell on monday.
She's panicking coz she's got a cat and Aiysha (her daughter) is insisting they bring Snowy to school coz Masha (Aiysha's best friend/competitor)(i snt it disturbing that we see this weird girl-friend/enemy dynamics in pre-school) .. anyway, where was I?
oh yes, Aiysha insists on bringing the cat because Masha is going to bring her hamsters.
My sister is afraid that the cat would eat the hamsters.
I was assigned the task to ascertain whether Aiysha was telling the truth about the show&tell at school.
So I went to Ilham&Ihsan.
Me:"Ilham&Ihsan, do you have any homework?"
Ilham:"No"
Me:"Are you supposed to bring anything to school on Monday?"
Ilham:"No. eh.. Yes. Teacher Imah said we should bring our pet to school but Bonda, I don't have a pet"
Ihsan:"Bonda, at school, Teacher Imah asked whether we have any animals at home and I said we had Butterflies and lizards and roaches and flies and ants"
Me: *fainted in embarassment*

-----------

So Monday morning Ilham was complaining that he doesnt have a pet to bring to school.
So I told him, if Teacher Imah asked him, to hold out his hand and introduce her to Mr. Plankton (SpongBobSquarePants is Ilham's latest craze)
That made him giggle.
Ihsan wanted a pet as well, and since he had a sore throat, I told him to cough in his hand and introduce Mr.Virus
Anything to make them go to school.

----------------
Ilham came back from school and had this to report:

Ilham: "Bonda, I showed Mr.Plankton to Teacher Imah today"
Me: *uh-oh* "Oh really??? And what did she say?"
Ilham:"She said, ohhhh very nice..." (Imitating his teacher's voice and tone)

ThankGod for wacky boys.

Aiysha didnt bring her cat and she complained to her mom that masha brought hamsters to school.
(Aiysha hangs out at my house after school so I get privy to her life)
I bought her a pair of pink sweat pants with them stripes on the sides.. the one that is oh-so-stylish nowadays.. and she was happy.

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Blog Comments

Posted by: ummi (Offline)
Date: 5/17/04 at 9:28PM (3w2d ago)

Roaches and flies as pets... hahaha thats so cute. I guess the boys must have mixed up pets and pests. Wonderful kids. They'll make it through life just fine, InsyaAllah.

Posted by: elisataufik (Offline)
Date: 5/17/04 at 9:33PM (3w2d ago)
Insya-Allah!!! I'm trying to raise them with a sense of humor.. i think it'll be a fun ride for them, and also especially me! :)

Posted by: nectar
Date: 5/17/04 at 9:54PM (3w2d ago)

they are so cute and funny. but I wonder why a pre-school would ask kids to bring pets to school? Isn't that too troublesome? What if everybody insists on bringing their pet turtle, fish, spider, chameleon whatsoever - and the parents might have to take a leave from work to accompany their child to school? my daughter refused to go to school just because she didn't have the right colour panties.

Posted by: elisataufik (Offline)
Date: 5/17/04 at 10:13PM (3w2d ago)
I think the school just asked a few people to bring their pets, not all. And only pets that were in cages, hence hamsters and rabbits, but not fish and butterflies hee hee.
Oh my god. My kids wont go to school in shorts. they *have* to wear long pants. ThankGod Anis is still too young to fuss.

Posted by: Leen
Date: 5/18/04 at 5:28AM (3w1d ago)
Hi Elisa,

I love your blog.. your kids sound very very cute :). Tis Leen from Ryze by the way :)

Posted by: RockLobster (Offline)
Date: 5/18/04 at 9:20PM (3w1d ago)
I remember back in yr 7 I wrote "Supercallifradgill is ticexpialadocious" on the desk and then next week was asked 'Erin, did you write '"Supercallifradgi llis ticexpialadocious" in really tiny letters on the science desk?" by a really mad science teacher. I laughed and said 'No, of course not!'. Inside I was like ' ....... and I wouldve gotten away with it too if it wasnt for you meddling kids!'

Posted by: nectar
Date: 5/19/04 at 10:49PM (21d43m ago)

okay. I thought she asked the whole class to bring their pets.

Love: Stuff & Nonsense?

Mood: *smile* Playing: Stuff & Nonsense - Eddie Vedder and Neil Finn


I was kissing my husband the other day, and I had opened my eyes and looked at his face real close and suddenly felt this surge of love.
As if I've never seen his face before.
As if it was the first time I've kissed him.

Within a span of nanoseconds , i was thinking...
. we've been married for more than 10 years
. we have 3 kids
. i have kissed him like ... thousands of times
. I love him . love him love him.
. I can't imagine living without him
. but I can't depend on the future always turning the way I want it to.

It scared me and I cried.
He opened his eyes when he felt my tears on his cheek.
Hugged me and asked me why.
I couldnt explain.

___________________
Stuff & Nonsense - Split Enz

Disobey my own decisions, I deserve all your suspicion
First it's yes and then it's no, I dilly dally down to duo
But I got no secrets that I babble in my sleep,
I won't make promises to you that I can't keep

And you know that I love you
here and now, not forever
I can give you the present (presence?),
I don't know 'bout the future,
that's all stuff and nonsense

I once lived for the future, every day seem one day closer
Greener on the other side, this I believed before I met you
I soon learned your love burned brighter than the stars in my eyes
Now I know how and when
I know where and why

And you know that I love you
here and now, not forever
I can give you my present,
I don't know 'bout the future,
that's all stuff and nonsense

--

And you know that I love you
here and now, not forever
I can give you the present,
I don't know 'bout the future,
that's all stuff and nonsense

___________________

Is it possible to be so confident and yet so unsure about something?

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Blog Comments

Posted by: nectar
Date: 5/17/04 at 12:35AM (3w2d ago)

sometimes that kind of thoughts scare me too.

Posted by: pezman32 (Offline)
Date: 5/17/04 at 8:25PM (3w2d ago)
I know the fear you are going thru. I think knowing what that pain feels like without actually feeling it is what kinda keeps me from finding someone.

I don't know the pain of losing a spouse. I do know of it first hand though. I watched a love/bond (one and the same) between two people my entire life. The woman did everything for her man, and that man did everything for her, no holds barred. Those kinds of unions are few and far between right now, and I honor those that actually share the same thing as the couple I watched for so long.

The man passed away in August of last year. The woman is now lost and learning to go on with life until it is her turn to meet him again.

The purpose of this note is, you have something very special, something blessed that a lot of todays population may or may not ever feel. I truely admire you. There's nothing like watching an ederly couple walking down the sidewalk, hand in hand. Give me goosebumps, to think true love still exists, and is stronger than ever.

Just a note: The couple I watched for all of my life was my mom and dad.


Posted by: elisataufik (Offline)
Date: 5/17/04 at 10:38PM (3w2d ago)
hey pez, thanx for writing this . it's beautiful.
i remember when my grandfather died when I was 8. i felt sad for losing him, but I didnt feel sad for my grandma. But when I got older and discovered 'love' *smile*, I remember wondering how my grandmother survived with him gone. I mean, he wasnt 100% faithful to her, but still, did she miss him? I never got to ask her that question because we didnt have that kind of relationship..
My parents, hm.. they are sorta separated.
So see, i have nothing much going on around me to assure me that I'm going to make it through. Maybe that's why I'm trying so hard. And feeling scared. I need someone to tell me: It's not in your genes!
:)


Posted by: mamasparks (Offline)
Date: 5/18/04 at 5:36PM (3w1d ago)

somehow, i know how you feel....love is so damn complicated....reall y sucks...but at the same time, it's wonderful...how do we win? :)

Posted by: elisataufik (Offline)
Date: 5/18/04 at 8:29PM (3w1d ago)
I guess you don't.. coz one way or another, you will always lose the one you love..
So I guess the best thing to do is just enjoy the game! hee hee!!

Ilham's Psyche

Mood: Lazy Playing: Pearljam's Long road, sung by Michael Stipe

I'm kinda lazy today, so I'm posting something I wrote on www.ummikusayang.com on March 16th 2004.
____________________ ________

Last weekend I had a peek inside Ilham's psyche.

On saturday I was feeling kinda down for some reason. I was making myself a drink and he came to me and asked,
"Bonda, I have something, and you can smile, what do you want?"
I was like "huh?? I dont understand your question.."
He frowned and looked at his glass of ribena and said "I'm not good in English",
so I replied "then tell me in bahasa malaysia".
He said "Kalau Ilham ada benda yang boleh buat bonda senyum, bonda nak apa?"
[ If I had something that can make you smile, what would you want?]
I was stunned.
After a while watching him drink his ribena, I finally answered him
"If you have something that can make me smile, I would want a hug"
He gulped down his ribena and then came up for breath (you know how kids get when they drink too fast and for too long) and breathlessly said, "okay" and gave me a long hug.
I hugged him back and added ".. and also if you want, you can help me wash the dishes.."
which he did. tee hee hee. Sneaky, but hey.

On Sunday we attended a birthday party at McDonalds and they were having games. Knowing that Ilham can sometimes get easily frustrated when he loses, I stayed close to the kids. First they played a version of 'hot potato' with a burger box. Ilham was one of the last few to get 'kicked out' of the game and he went "Arrrghhhh", so I ruffled his hair and said "Hey, that was fun! Let's see who wins!"
and he sportingly watched the rest of the game.
Next game was the ever popular musical chairs and I asked him whether he wanted to play and
he said "I want to play but I'm afraid I will lose".
So I had to convince him that it doesnt matter if he wins or loses, as long as he tries and that he has fun. His eyes lit up and said "Yeah, like Samurai Jack!"
and jumped in to join the game. And he won the game!! yay!! he joined in the other games after that and it looked like it didnt matter to him when he lost.

*sigh* Kids grow up fast, don't they? It felt just like yesterday
when Ilham was teased in school for calling his mom 'Bomba'.

[Note: The kid's call me 'Bonda' which is 'Mother' in classical malay. 'Bomba' is malay for 'Fire Department'.]

Okay so I'm just goofing off

Mood: Upbeat Playing: Segitiga by Cokelat

Got this from flypixie's blog, who got it from some one else:

_______________

I want everyone who reads this to ask me 3 questions, no more no less. Ask me anything you want (you may post anonymously if you wish). Then, I want you to go to your blog, copy and paste this allowing your friends (including myself) to ask you anything.
________

I hope it doesnt hurt.

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Blog Comments
Posted by: Myhopesandfears (Offline)
Date: 5/13/04 at 7:47AM (3w6d ago)

1-faviorte movie and why
2-scariest moment of your life
3-if you could change anything , what would you change?

If you can imagine it,You can achieve it.If you can dream it,You can become it."


Posted by: elisataufik (Offline)
Date: 5/13/04 at 7:12PM (3w6d ago)
Hey.. that's 5 questions!! hee hee
okay so here goes:
1. hm.. toughie.. it's a toss between Singles (coz it's like, the movie that defines my generation) and Enchanted April (because I liked the story, cinematography, the smart use of visuals..) .. but gosh there's so many!! I also liked Spawn coz the SFX was so cool (I have not seen Hellboy)... why in the world did u ask me this question..
2. Last week!! I went up Mount Machinchang in Langkawi on a cable car. I mean, it's like an 8'by8' box, attached to a steel cable by just what looked like not even a foot long god knows what material clip. A CLIP. We were hanging almost 700meters above sea level. My thoughts then were, I hope, if God wanted to punish me for my sins, he doesnt do it now. Obviously, I survived. *phew*. Wanted to write abt this experience but didnt have the time to. So thanx for the question :)
3. Change about.. me? the world? anything? I'd change people's attitude. And make people be able to see the positive sides of things when they start to focus on only the negatives.. and I'd like to start with myself. :)

I hope I am not like a mushroom.. coz I have the power of judgement and I have feet. So I can decide whether things are shit or not and go out and discover the light.. :)

Posted by: cassitea (Offline)
Date: 5/13/04 at 9:36PM (3w6d ago)
1. does the idea of death scare you?

2. have you ever lost sleep over a relationship?

3. what do you choose history or future, and tell me why? (take the question however you want)

Posted by: elisataufik (Offline)
Date: 5/13/04 at 9:57PM (3w6d ago)
hey devin,
1. The idea of death does not scare me. The idea of the pain before death does. and the idea of punishment in the afterlife does.

2. YES. Everytime I argue with my husband and things don't get resolved before bedtime, I won't be able to sleep. So what I'd do is wake him up and force him to discuss things over with me (which pisses him off SO MUCH) till we're both satisfied. after that we make up ;) (and sometimes making up is worth losing sleep over .. hee hee)

3. hm... i would choose the future, coz I think it has potential, and I would have some degree of control over it. But I'd choose history to learn from.
Oh so cliche but what the heck that's the way I feel.

Good luck with yr friend.

What I did with my christmas single

Mood: Upbeat Playing: MFC (Live version) - Pearl Jam

There was a blackout at my block the other day. We had to sleep with the windows open coz it was *so* hot. But if we slept with the windows open, then the mosquitoes would get in, so everyone slept on my bed, the only bed with a mosquito net.
Of course it was still hot sleeping in the mosquito net even with the windows open...
so I had to find something to fan me and my kids with.

yup. you got it. I used PearJam's 2003 Christmas Single.
It was the right size, right stiffness, right thickness.
Thank God for PJ loving vinyls so much. :)

Segitiga - Cokelat

(literally translated as Triangle, by Chocolate)

This was the song I was listening to the other day. I didnt know what it was called then.
So I went out and bought my self a compilation of Indonesian Hits, not knowing what would be in it.
I am not dissapointed! *smile*

It also has another cool song: Rahasia Perempuan (A woman's secret) by Ari Lasso .
Though i think if i translate the lyrics, it'll sound like an english/american song..

A woman's secret by Ari Lasso
-------------------- ---------------
There's a part of a woman
That is so sensitive to touch
when it is touched by a man.
Where is that part,
do you want to know?
Cos that part
is only for a matured man
coz that part
is very 'deadly'
for women
who are in love.
where is that part,
do you want to know?

Touch her right
at her heart
and she'll be yours
forever
Touch it
with sincere love
make her heart soar.
Touch her heart
very carefully
when you mention
her heart
coz this part
is deadly
very deadly
for women in love
infatuated
where is that part
do you want to know?

-------------------- -----------

Does that sound familiar to you?
What english/american song is that?

Shared Responsibility

Mood: Apalled Playing: January by Glenn

Okay, so there was this 2 yr old girl who died of abuse 2 weeks ago. The cause of death is liver puncture due to being hit by a blunt object (a shoe, with feet still in it). Doctors also found other tell-tale abuse signs: scalding marks, bruises, her ear was almost torn off, there were brusies and marks on her private parts and her anus is torn.
Initially everyone thought it was the maid, or the daycare. The parents claimed that they were not aware of the other injuries. Good God!, how can you not be aware of a torn anus? Change her diaper and you would notice it. I mean, I notice even one mosquito bite. It was so obvious her parents neglected her.
As the week went on, it became more and more obvious as to who had been doing the abuse. The nursery had reported signs of abuse THREE times prior to the child's death, but nobody did anything to stop it.
Last week, the parents were brought in for questioning and remanded (held in jail) for a period of time. Yesterday, the mother was officially charged with murder. The father was released.
There are alot of issues here. But I won't touch on the beaurucracy and stuff like that.

I am just apalled that the father was let go. I mean, when you're a parent, aren't u responsible for the safety and well-being of your child? Even if your wife was doing the abuse, i think not stopping her makes you an accessory. That guy should be charged for being an accessory to murder. Or for negligence at the very least (i don't know if there is such a law in Malaysia, but there should).
He might be innocent of murder, but he is definitely not innocent of neglecting to take care of a child, neglecting to save a person's life.

I am not a perfect mother.
I do scream at my kids. And I have caned them, only once before, when they did something totally out of line and had endangered the well being of their siblings.
Raising kids are not hunky dory all the time. You've got to accept that. Kids are loud, and whiny and demanding and gosh sometimes they get on your nerves.
But you just have to remember that these are children. they were born fresh and innocent. They dont cry and whine out of malice. It's always for some reason, and it's up to us adults, who are more capable and more knowing, to find out what that need is. And find out in a calm and non threathening way. (at least, that's what i tell myself ..)
and sometimes, when the kids are at their worst, I try to think of when they were at their best.. to remind myself that even though at that moment they drive me up the wall, there were and will be moments when they just lift me up to the clouds and make me feel special.

Love love love your kids.. and other people's kids as well, if you can..

*Phew*

Mood: better Playing: Don't know the name of this song.. it's Indonesian

Okay, so today was a bit better.
I had cream cheese on toast for breakfast. Drank my skyfruit fibre drink and lotsa water.
Towards noon I started feeling a bit dizzy and woozy but not enough to make me puke. Took my medicine.
During lunch managed to eat only a quarter bowl of curry noodles but managed to finish my mango juice, and a strawberry ice blend after. Since I already had the icy-cold strawberry drink, didnt think I should get myself a soft serve.
Took a nap after lunch and actually felt better!
yay!!
Even managed to successfully and coherently troubleshoot a problem and solve it! *woo hoo*
I hope this lasts.
okay gonna get off and go pick up my kids now.
Ta ta for now!

driving the porcelain bus

Mood: not so nauseous

okay after my last entry I kept going back and forth from my cube to the ladies room, to 'drive the porcelain bus'.
I don't remember where I learned that expression.
So there I was, gripping the edges of the sink like I would a steering wheel, trying to balance myself so that my face dont fall into it.
Out came:
potato chips that I had for breakfast.
and then i think big mac from lunch the day before
(sorry if I'm grossing u out)
after that the other trips yielded nothing but spit.
Everyone who walked in on me hanging over the sink went "*big gasp* are you pregnant?"
I said NO, i've tested negative, and got all sorts of theories on how home pregnancy tests can be innacurate.
Didnt go out to lunch. My friend brought me back an oatmeal loaf instead, and some corn & yam ice cream (which was yummy, and help settle my stomach a bit).
When I had felt a bit better , I walked over to the plant's clinic (Note: I work in a manufacturing plant) and saw the doctor who asked me whether I did the pregnancy test correctly but gave me anti-vomitting pills and antacids anyway.
So today I'm feeling much better, but somehow am craving for vanilla soft serve...

I don't know what's wrong...

Mood: nauseous

I have been feeling kinda weird since I got back from Island hopping in Langkawi.
Note: I was on the Langkawi Island last week and we went 'island hopping' on one of the days there. Basically we hopped on a tiny boat and they brought us to Pulau Dayang Bunting , literally translated as The Island of the Pregnant Woman, and then to a cove where they tried to feed the eagles (they didnt eat much prolly coz the other boats who were ahead of us had fed them enuf, but it was quite thrilling to see them swoop down to check out the food ) and then we were brought to what they called 'the most beautiful island in Langkawi' (NOT), where the kids could hop down and swim on the beach.
I had no problem with the boat rides. But I can't stand it when they stop, and the boat kinda sways on the water.. it makes me sick.
Then the next day we had the ferry ride home. That was horrible! The water was choppy and I could feel the ferry swaying and the windows were too high that I couldnt look out. By the time we reached the port and they opened the doors and the exhaust fumes wafted in, i couldnt hold my breakfast. I puked into a plastic bag which was meant for the kids to puke in.
It's been.. hm.. 3 days? since the ferry ride, but I still feel nauseous. Since I got back, I have no stomach for anything.
To rule out the possibility, yesterday I went to the drugstore and bought myself a pregnancy test.
But it turned out negative!!
so.. i seriously don't know what's wrong with me.
I'll try to get some soup in me today. We'll see what happens.

maybe I'm allergic to work? Coz the moment I sit in my cubicle I get all woozy.
heh heh

Edited coz there were too many typos.. I can't even type right. I'm gonna change the position of my laptop.. maybe that'll help

---

Blog Comments
Posted by: Fina
Date: 5/11/04 at 7:03PM (21d7h ago)
Hi Elisa,
take care ok?
Get well soon ... or is that a sign of another round of motherhood? :D

Man and Boy

Mood: feeling better Playing: James, from James and the Giant Peach

I visited pezman32's blog and it reminded me of Tony Parson's "Man and Boy" which I have just finished reading while on holiday this past week.
The book is almost like 'Kramer vs Kramer' except the ending is a bit different. I wonder why its a best seller though. Granted that Tony Parson has a flair for writing and that his characters are very well fleshed out .. but I'm just wondering what is it that makes the story unique to people. Is it because it is about a MAN who's a single parent? And that he was the one who stayed behind and took care of the kid? I mean, is that unique? If you visit pezman's blog (http://pezman32.modblog.com), you'd see that it is not so unusual that the man is the single parent. It is not unusual for the man to be the tender, loving and caring half.
And why is it that I don't see books about female single parents on the best seller's list (or maybe there are, but I have not been reading them.. heh heh).

After finishing the book, I also wondered.. if the couple had 3 kids instead of just one, Would the wife had left as easily as she did? Would the husband still be willing to take care of the 3 kids with the wife gone? Would the husband still be fighting for the custody of the kids?

This book made me ask my husband whether he was happy with his life and whether he thinks he's having a mid-life crisis (coz I can't tell.. I mean, he's not like obsessed with his looks or fast cars or looking at other women yet .. he just kept renovating our house and complaining abt money).
This book also made me evaluate my husband's 'mothering' skills, i.e. If he were to be left alone with the kids for a few days, would he be able to survive or would I come back to find my kids wearing the same clothes that I left them with and food-deprived? I'm proud to say, he passed with flying colors ;) In fact, i think maybe he'd do a better job than me, coz I have a short temper..