Saturday, December 13, 2008

Hajj Lessons

Alhamdulillah, I am back home safely.

If you don't mind, I won't be writing much on my experience. Not because I dont want to share, but because I am afraid if I write too much, I would be prone to riak (boasting?) or might induce other people to make fitnah from misconception.

But I do would like to share this:
Performing the Hajj is truly like going to battle. You leave your family behind, you take along only the essentials and you make do with whatever we have.
But the battle is not only physical, it was also emotional, psychological and spiritual.
I believe that Allah gives you lessons to learn everyday, irregardless of whether you are on Hajj or not, but somehow during that period, perhaps due to the situation, lessons seems to be more intense and you are somewhat forced to learn it.

I learned a very shocking thing about myself during this hajj.
I learned that even though I consider myself to be a very open minded, understanding and polite person, deep down inside I am actually very presumptuous and judgemental.
My mom's main advice to me was to watch what I say and to try to keep my mouth shut and refrain from giving my opinion whenever I feel the need to (for she surely knows her daughter well). I did not heed my mother's advice. I admonished someone close to me for being judgemental, only to realize that I myself was being judgemental of her. I hurt her feelings and was wrecked with guilt until I approached her for forgiveness. Truly we are meant to be friends, because she forgave me, masya-Allah.

I realize that each and everyone who went for the hajj has their own private battles and private lessons to learn. You really need to learn the lesson on your own, no one is going to take you aside and point out to you what you need to learn. Being confined in terms of space and schedule really force you to really look into yourself and discover and think about who you really are and what you want to become.
They tell you to do alot of dzikr and reading the Qur'an and think about Allah, and even though you do it for Allah, I discovered that all those actually benefited me more than I can explain. It kept me away from doing wrong things, it reminded me of what was important in life, and masya-Allah, I even found a verse that provided a solution to a dillema that I have been struggling with for most of my life. Truly, Allah is great.
Even when I thought a situation is bad, friends all around remind me that Allah is All-knowing and he's trying to teach me a lesson, I think about Allah and try to find the lesson in the bad situation, and Alhamdulillah, I got through it.
I never understood it when people come back from Hajj say they had a 'beautiful experience', but now I do. Masya-Allah.

Insya-Allah, I have prayed for all of you to have peace, happiness and good health.
May Allah grant my prayers and accept my hajj. Amin.

p/s I'd do another post on tips for Hajj (i.e. what to bring, what to do). But maybe in a few days, okay, coz I still need to do laundry then pick up my kids (Gosh, I missed them so much!!)

17 comments:

  1. alhamdulillah...it's good to hear from you again.

    and thanks for sharing ur experience.
    bestnya..harap2 i pun dipermudahkan jalan nk menziarah ke tanah suci.
    inshaallah

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  2. I guess sharing experience is okay, depending on your niat. That's what my ustazah in Jubail Da'wah Cetre always said. Everything is according to your niat. Sometimes, when you share, it could trigger others to do the same (do the haj). We listened/read to many stories about bad things happen to people who went for Haj. Of course, we also want to listen to good stories too right.

    Anyway, if you're still afraid of people's misconception, perhaps that's okay. May be you can tell me about it when we meet some day :)

    Mabruk Hajjah Elisa :)

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  3. Selamat kembali Elisa. What my friend (a convert) said stayed with me. She prayed in a church dulu2.. in silence, needed silence to concentrate .. but when she did the Hajj.. it's about praying in 'action' , with turmoil all around you. Inner peace is what she found. And it was so beautiful to her. InsyaAllah siapa yang tak pergi lagi akan ke sana jua, satu hari nanti. Thank you for your entry.

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  4. Alhamdulillah, Hjh Elisa and Hj Topik selamat tiba....!

    you know, i read this entry of yours dengan perasaan berdebar-debar. it just reminded me of my own 'haji kecil' dulu which was also full of...experiences.

    One thing I can tell, di sana Allah bayar cash. dan-dan tu jugak Dia balas.

    but yeah, we equally left dengan penuh rasa berat hati. Though He is everywhere, but it was there in the Holy Land that we feel Him the closest, no?

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  5. i betul2 terharu...rasa macam betul2 terpanggil.

    you are so lucky to have made it there and back.alhamdulillah.

    thank u for ur doas.

    Allah saja yang dapat balas.now the task is to "pelihara" what you have gained from the experience.InsyaAllah.

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  6. Hajjah Elisa.
    have you gotten use to the new title?

    Alhamdullilah taufik and yourself are well.Im feeling all envious with the in-awe feeling you have describe.such simple deep words

    Thank you for your doa.In return, I pray that both of you haji makbur.insyallah

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  7. Alhamdulillah Lisa...

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  8. Eh, 9 days only? Hmm.. lupe kak Lisa lives in Saudi. Isk. I tot January baru balik cam orang Mesia yang pergi lambat hari tu. Huehue..

    Welcome back. Glad that you're in good health and found your journey beautiful and rewarding ;)

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  9. welcome back ya hajjah!!!! miss ur entries ;-)

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  10. alhamdulillah you're back, as a better person it seems even though starting from the good side already :|

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  11. I love listening to positive hajj experience. :)

    This makes me all warm and fuzzy inside.

    (Kak Elisa, you also made me tertanya2 re my hajj posts :P)

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  12. Anonymous1:04 PM

    madame,

    thanks for sharing, it is really useful and interesting to read.things to ponder about and take note off when it's time for us to head there, especially first timers.

    anyways, welcome back! i kept thinking about how your hajj was as i was offline till today so alhamdullilah it all went well :)

    -nonah-

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  13. salam kak lisa,
    cepatnya balik, alhamdulillah and thank you for your lovely post.I really want to go to find that inner peace.I read your post feeling sayu sangat..i wish i can go soon, umrah pun jadilah..i badly need to be closer to HIM.Ya Allah...moga diperkenankan doa...
    am so happy you're back home safe.

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  14. ery,
    Insya-Allah, kalau dah tanam niat tu, Allah akan permudahkan. :)

    neeza,
    and when are we going to meet? ;)
    BTW, we only met Shahril in Mina, setelah dia botak, sebelum we went melontar Jamratul Aqobah. Lepas tu tak jumpa dia lansung.
    Rambut taufik dah panjang sikit.. kalau gosok2, lembut macam carpet ! ha ha ha

    Mrs.A,
    Memang you're bombarded with all sorts of things, so when you do find that peace, rasa precious and so satisfying! :)

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  15. Alin,
    ha.. part 'bayar cash' tu ada jugak cerita..
    One of it - Masa kat mina, i lalu kedai Al-Baik Fried Chicken masa coming back from melontar, and I told taufik, before we leave, we have to try this chicken.. balik2 to the tent, masya-Allah.. they were serving it for dinner! ;)

    Nazrah,
    part 'pelihara' tu actuallynya lagi challenging dari part buat haji.. ;)
    Kat sana you're often reminded, tapi dah balik ni.. too many distractions! Astaghfirullah..!
    Kena teruskan doa supaya Allah tetapkan iman.

    swahili,
    Ha ha.. no.. I am still not used to being called Hajjah :P
    Alhamdulillah, we havent gotten terribly sick, just a few sniffles and coughs.. which kinda makes me wonder (coz they say sickness after Hajj is Allah's way of closing any gaps and elevating your hajj).. it's either my hajj was almost perfect (???) or my hajj was not accepted ????.
    ha ha
    But I dont dwell on it lah.. Just give my best, do my best at maintaining the level of ibadah and tawakal.. ;)

    Icuk,
    Alhamdulillah :)

    Butterfly,
    Yup 9 days only :) tapi macam tak puas lah pulak (walaupun rindu akt anak2!)

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  16. Naj,
    Thankyou.. i dont know how often I can blog after this coz my kids are on holiday ;)
    Tapi expect more travelogs coz I've just started 'Ops Jalan Sakan'!

    Mosh,
    ah you flatter me too much.. am trying very hard not to get riak.

    Nusayba,
    hah? what do you mean "tertanya2 re my hajj posts"??
    Oh, whether you sounded 'boasting' when you went ke? NO Lah!
    Sorry if I made you feel that way :P
    That statement was meant as a reminder for me, actually.. to watch what and the way I write..

    CikNonahManis,
    Hey glad you're online!

    Pu3,
    HE is everywhere, so don't despair even though you tak dapat ke Makkah. YET. *hugs*

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  17. Alhamdulillah ..telah selamat semuanya...Amin..

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