Thursday, November 25, 2004

poo poo eeeeyeeewww!!!!!

Mood: 36 days till quitting Playing: Discovery Channel

Read On At Your Own Risk

Today I did the most disgusting thing I have ever done in my entire life.
I wont go into details.. I'll let your imagination take charge.

I took leave from work coz we have to submit a medical report to the Saudi Embassy to get our visas. 'We' as in THE WHOLE FAMILY.
So today we brought the kids, even Anis, with her chicken pox, to the hospital for a health screening/checkup.
Taufik had a check list he got from the Saudi Arabian Embassy.
It had the usual stuff, among other things : Chest X-rays, Blood test, Urine Test and.. believe it or not, Stool test.
Yup you've got it. We've got to submit a sample of our stool.

Having carried 3 kids, I have pee-ed in a cup for at least 27 times. But I have never in my life, ever ever ever, poo-ed in a cup before. I looked at the size of the cup/sample container they gave us and I was like.. what the heck? I think I need a bigger cup, ma'am. Perhaps ones that are as big as those at the cafe in Friends. Perhaps a tupperware.
What in the world do they expect me to do? Scoop a bit out of the toilet bowl or something??
someone even suggested doing it in a ziploc bag! *faints*

They asked us to bring the the cup home and return it whenever we're ready.
Another eyeewww. You mean you expect us to be carrying these things around?? Should I keep them in a thermos as well?
Damn. I spent the whole day worrying and thinking about how I was going to do that. And not just for me, for the kids too. Unfortunately (or fortunately?) Anis didnt need a stool sample coz she's within the age exception. I think getting a stool sample from Anis would've been easy coz it would be contained in her diapers.
I kept asking the boys if they needed to go. And I told them that if they needed to do the 'big business', they were to inform their dad and not to go on their own (coz they might flush our visas away).
Heh heh..

So I got Taufik to do the dirty job. Literary.
I gave him the sample cups/bottles and an opaque black plastic bag to carry the bottles in, so that he doesn't have to look at it when he transports it to the hospital tomorrow.
I really don't know how Taufik did it.
All I know is that at one point, he came downstairs to search for something in his toolbox. I don't know whether he threw away what he used after he used it.

Me, well .. i strategized and estimated and exercised enough control to be able to avoid having to scoop anything.
I can now say that have I poo-ed in a cup, once in my life.
I surely hope this would be my last time!

Don't say I didnt warn you!

Blog Comments

Posted by: J5Freak (Offline)
Date: 11/25/04 at 5:21PM (1M3w ago)

Eww. I've had to collect my dog's...presents... in containers before to the vet. And its really weird, because the only container we had at home was a clear orange-sherbet container. I felt stupid carrying that into the gross...

You know that I'd give anything to watch you sleep, I can picture you just lyin' there...
Sleep with one eye open - so I can see those baby blues

Posted by: LoLlieS (Offline)
Date: 11/26/04 at 12:38AM (1M3w ago)
What kind of data are they looking for? I wonder..

Posted by: dudae
Date: 11/26/04 at 1:33AM (1M3w ago)

hahahahahaha, send this to ripley's believe it or not, hahahahaha


Posted by: yellowcab (Offline)
Date: 11/26/04 at 1:42AM (1M3w ago)
OMG!!!!! i had friends working now in arab saudi...but no one ever mentioned poop!!!!

hahahahha i would faint if i had to do it...yuckkkkkkkkkk


Posted by: yellowcab (Offline)
Date: 11/26/04 at 1:42AM (1M3w ago)
and imagine..the ppl who have to test the stuff later....
uweekk...he better have a high pay!


Posted by: pizzofmine (Offline)
Date: 11/26/04 at 2:51AM (1M3w ago)

ahhh this is not as frightening as your lassssst entry.

imagine out on a date, and when the date asked what do you do? and answering: "oh,i took a lot of shit during work"

euwwhhh euwwwhhh euwhhhh 3:)~>

Posted by: gartblue (Offline)
Date: 11/26/04 at 3:21AM (1M3w ago)

gosh elisa .. you had in fits of laughter .. triple ewwww to you .. think in the olden days, they had schoolkids bring in their stool if they're suspected to have worms .. but not in adults .. ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Posted by: elisataufik (Offline)
Date: 11/26/04 at 3:25AM (1M3w ago)

Ihsan woke up this morning and asked
"Boleh tak Ihsan tengok berak Ihsan?"
(Can I look at my poo?)
Taufik & I said "NO!" in unison.

"we were but stones, ... your light made us stars"

Posted by: Pok Ku
Date: 11/26/04 at 3:37AM (1M3w ago)
Spoiled my brunch.

Posted by: SyntheticFaith (Offline)
Date: 11/26/04 at 4:25AM (1M3w ago)

Man I love Ihsan...funny funny stuff.

Posted by: nectar
Date: 11/26/04 at 2:41PM (1M3w ago)

that's just hilarious. but come to think of it, mothers have to deal with poo a lot. when your kids are sick, you might have to describe the colour and hardness of the stool to the doctor.

Posted by: zack_
Date: 11/26/04 at 5:21PM (1M3w ago)

Posted by: Cimorene130 (Offline)
Date: 11/27/04 at 2:15AM (1M3w ago)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!� !!! *is dying of fits of laughter* That is hilarious and revolting at the same time. o wow...ur husband with TOOLS! I'd make him wash every tool piece. lol. Let's hope you get those visas!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Someday your prince will come. Mine just got lost and is too stubborn to ask for directions."

Posted by: riza
Date: 11/27/04 at 1:35PM (1M3w ago)
they probably can tell your madzhab from those :))
i read that they have just recently banned camera-phone.
if you have one, better sell it to me cheap cheap

Posted by: beyondinfinity (Offline)
Date: 11/28/04 at 4:12PM (1M3w ago)
Oh my had me in fits of laughter!! Wonder what your husband did with the tools?? I really pity the guy who has to do the testing..btw, your kids are so cute!!

♥ �ŁếẰ♦
♪...Masquerade, paper faces on parade... hide your face so the world will never find you.....♪

Posted by: meowxx (Offline)
Date: 11/29/04 at 12:28PM (1M21d ago)

ROFL... OMG!!! I could not imagine if I have to do that... Oh boy oh boy!!!

Fame is the scentless Sunflower, with a gaudy crown of gold;
But Friendship is the breathing Rose, with sweets in every fold.

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