Saturday, November 08, 2008

Preparing Myself

I'm preparing myself for hajj. It excites me, yet scares me. I'm excited that I will be able to carry out the 5th pillar of my religion, but I am scared if something happens and I will not be able to do it for some reason. I am scared that even if I was able to do it, it is not 'as good' as others.

I keep thinking of things that I have done wrong, or I have not yet done (like, bila nak start ganti puasa nih? isy isy isy). I keep thinking about what if I had unintentionally hurt someone's feelings through my jokes or sessi menyakat or if I am tak sedar diri ter-mulut laser... will that bear weight on my hajj? Will some sins i've commited in the past be my obstacle to my journey?
Then again, I've managed to do my umrah before, so perhaps I should be confident, that I will once again be accepted to be a guest in His 'house'?

Sometimes I feel the need to distract myself and while I'm clicking on sudoku numbers I tell myself have faith have faith, don't get discouraged by your fears, just do your best, he is Ar-Rahman, Ar-Rahim, loving and forgiving. You take one step towards God, and He will repay you ten-fold if not more. Right?

23 comments:

  1. You are difinitely right! Bestnya dapat buat hajj....semoga dapat haji yang mabrur.sebut2 lah nama kami yang belum pergi ni supaya dapat ikut jejak langkah you....

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  2. I didn't know how to say how happy I'm to know this. Some how hajj is an act of God to test us not only when we perform hajj but its preparation, the thing you've to do and the soul you've to clean.

    My mum said, hajj in term as 'Mengerjakan haji' is not just doing a ritual when you were in God House but how you prepare yourself doing it; I think if you're started to feels the nerve or thinking what you've previously done, does it have indicate yourself 'prepare' for the hajj; I think you're in the right track;

    Hajj is so sacred and one of the pillar of our religion, that why its started way before you're infront of the Kaabah or at the Arafah;

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  3. Elisa, Alhamdulillah, seronoknya dengar. Today, you are the second person I heard yang nak menunaikan haji, yesterday dua orang kawan, and day before yesterday - seorang lagi. Insyaallah semuanya akan berjalan dengan baik.
    Doakan kak teh juga, ya?
    Maaf kalau ada terkasar bahasa dan tersilap kata.

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  4. Alhamdulillah! Elisa dapat seruan mengerjakan haji di umur yang muda. Bagus pergi di umur yang muda badan masih sihat dapat melakukan ibadah dengan baik. Insya-Allah semua akan berjalan dengan lancar. Pohonlah kepadaNYA segala kebaikan!

    Mak teh pergi Hajj 20 tahun yang lalu semasa itu sedang mengandungkan Yanna 6 bulan.Banyak cabaran tetapi seronok.

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  5. Dear K.Elisa,

    I've been reading your blog through Kak Olie's. Really happy to hear that you're going to perform your hajj. Semoga dipermudahkan Allah segala urusan, insyaallah. Thank you for posting all the recipes, tried some like your kuah kacang n rendang... heheh...thanks again.

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  6. Anonymous5:28 PM

    Komen Pak Malim kucing ray yg alim.

    Selamat Menunaikan Fardhu Haji, kata Pak Malim sambil memegang mata gergaji. Semoga mendapat haji mabrur dan pulang dgn selamat dan sihat walafiat, kata Pak Malim sambil naik kereta Fiat.

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  7. alhamdullilah...i pray that you will have a complete hajj journey. doa2kan la utk kawan2 blogger sekali yee.. :)

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  8. alhamdulillah elisa.. semoga mendapat haji yg mabrur.. tawakal dan terus bertawakal padaNya. InsyaAllah dipermudahkan semuanya... maaf zahir & batin

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  9. InsyaAllah Haji Mabrur.
    Just be careful and Surrender to Allah.
    Big hugs.

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  10. i'm praying for u kak elisa, take care :)

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  11. Insyallah Elisa semoga mendapat Haji yang mabrur. Insyallah everything will be ok just have to maintain a good heart and a clear mind. Banyak-banyak bersabar. There will be lots of people with all sorts of behaviour. Just have to remember to be focused on the ibadah and not be sidetracked by other possible drama.
    Good luck!

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  12. Alhamdulillah. Tahniah.
    InsyaAllah, yakin padaNya.
    *hugs*

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  13. Elisa
    Concur with Sunflora. There are bound to be distractions and irritation along the way, but just stay focused throughout, and do it with full keikhlasan. Be prepared that your patient will be tested to its limit. Are you bringing all the 4 kids? I found Getting the best of al_Hajj by Abu Muneer Ismail Davids very useful.

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  14. Anonymous3:48 AM

    Goodluck and InsyaAllah mendapat haji Mabrur.

    I went last year with lost of apprehension as I haven't never been to the holy land before, and am also a convert. However, when we arrived and if we keep focus on what we want to do, insyaAllah all will go smoothly and without many problems. Don't let other distractions get to you. Anggap sebagai cabaran.

    I also used the book "getting the best out of hajj" which I found useful and informative. Don't forget to go to Dakwah Corner at Hilton for more wodnerful reading materials.

    Selamat Menunaikan Rukun Islam yang ke-5. Amin...

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  15. I've got to know about this about 3 weeks back - nampak your name in a list.

    Semoga Elisa dan Taufik selamat mengerjakan haji dan mendapat haji mabrur.. Insyaallah...

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  16. From my side, you tak ada apa-apa salah pun jua. Insya Allah, Allah will make your way easy.

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  17. seronok dengar yg muda2 (muda la kan? hehe) now going for hajj.

    selamat menjalani rukun haji

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  18. Salam elisa...
    Semoga mendapat haji yang mabrur...insya'Allah.
    Do the best and pray for the best ya.

    Ada peluang, doakan semoga saya juga dapat berpeluang menjalani ibadah haji..selagi ada hayat ni...

    take care.

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  19. Elisa&Taufik,

    Semoga dipermudahkan segala urusan semasa mengerjakan haji.

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  20. selamat mengerjakan ibadah haji. muda lagi tu elok sangat lah. bebudak semua ikut sekali kan?

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  21. alamak.. i should've replied this sooner.. now there's too many to reply one by one.. :P

    Thank you all for your kind words of encouragement and assurance. I am now a little bit more confident and recharged (teruja gitew)!

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  22. insya allah akak..u will be good...

    moga dpt haji mabrur..the kids camna? bwk sekali ker???

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  23. sis,
    i ENVY you!!! bila lah i nak dapat peluang gi haji... *praying hard*

    semoga dapat haji mabrur!

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