Money matters

I just saw INXS' new video with JD. Can't remember the song title.. "After The Show"?
anyways. I hate to admit that I am begining to like that damn song.

---------------------------------------------------

I just realized that I may have complained a wee bit too much about my husband's frugal financial pratices in the previous post. And I think I do complain about it often. But please don't get me wrong. Even though his unwillingness to part with money for no good reason (according to his reasoning) sounds like a fault, i actually think it's a virtue. If it were not for his tightening our purses very early in our relationship, I don't think we'd be as financially comfortable as we are today.

I myself was not used to having money to spend. I remember only getting 30cents for school everyday and I always had to forgo buying them chikadees if I wanted to be full enough to last me the rest of the day. As I got older my mom gave me 50cents, and that was enough for a bowl of prawn noodles (the best I have ever tasted) and a glass of very thin air sirap (but that's okay, I brought a water bottle).
When I was in boarding school, my dad kept to the school's guideline of $20 per month, which meant that if I wanted to have the packet of nasi lemak that the makcik comes to sell at our dorms on saturdays (instead of the two pieces of bread, margerine and a spoonful of sugar that they serve at the mess hall), I would have to abstain from having any instant noodles for supper (instead of the two pieces of bread and a cup of very think nescafe with condensed milk that we'd have to line up for at the mess hall).
This experience thought me that "Money is limited, to enjoy one thing, you might have to sacrifice not enjoying another thing"

Though my parents might not agree, I don't think I asked for money from my parents that often. Even when I was studying in the U.S., everything I spent on, phone bills, car rents, clothes, food, books, were all from my scholarship. I would be that girl you see piling it on at the salad bar at the UIUC Student Union. Or the one that takes 2 packets of saltines instead of one with her bowl of soup. Or the one who buys notepads in bulk at Sam's that'll last her the whole year. After graduating, I worked for a while as a research assistant at Tulsa University's Drilling Research facility in Catoosa, Oklahoma and a turkey sandwich was my breakfast and lunch.
Hm.. come to think of it, maybe that is why I sometimes think I have the divine right to enjoy good food when I now can afford it. (Though I don't always get to, thanx to my husband).
But I digress..

If I had to tell you what my husband's financial motto is, I could probably suggest "if you don't need it, don't buy it". or "Why pay when you can get it free or cheaper".or "If it's all-you-can-eat, eat all you can, or don't go at all". or even "Kat mana makan murah, sedap dan banyak?". Something along those lines. Whenever I am asked if I ever worry about my husband's fidelity (especially when he started doing sales and are expected to bring clients out for 'entertainment', I would always say "He thinks too much about his wallet to think about his d*ck".

Ha ha. I'm kidding.

The truth is, Taufik used to be very focused on earning money and earning as much as he can while he can. He used to work on the oil rigs and would relish getting his assignments because it meant extra money on top of his basic pay. It really didnt matter to him then that he had to be away from me. But when I was pregnant with Ilham, I told him that it wouldnt be a healthy environment for our son to grow up with an absent father. I told him that I would rather we be poor and living in a shack than we be a rich but dysfunctional family. He mulled over this for a while. Two months before I was due, he decided to tender his resignation letter. He was willing to leave it all. Alhamdulillah, his boss offered Taufik his own position, coz he was planning to leave the country and spend more time with his own family as well. It was then I learnt that "All the money in world won't mean a thing without your loved one to enjoy it with". Since then, Taufik had never compromised this family's happiness for the extra buck. He always made sure that we stick together.

Another lesson I learnt from my husband is that "To be rich is not to make money, it is to not spend it". We have always lived beneath our means. My husband always expects us to save at least 25% of our monthly salary. When I just started working, I remember taking out half of my pay on the very day that it is banked in, to buy BSN's Sijil Simpanan Premium. With the money I saved, we managed to pay off the custom's tax for the CBR600F2 that my husband bought home from the US, and also pay partly for my wedding.
As long as I can remember, we only ate out at the local mapleys (stalls), no Modesto's or Picollo Mondo's or Starbucks for us. No Pasta primaveras and crepes and strawberries, only nasi goreng kampung and roti canai. I only shop for work clothes during Isetan or Metrojaya Sales. We wore our shoes till they split open. I bought a humble (and cheap) Proton Wira instead of eyeing that sleek Honda Civic.

Once, Ilham boldly asked his father, "Are we poor?" (perhaps because we didnt want to buy him a toy he wanted or we said KFC was expensive), and Taufik's response was "We are not poor, but we'd rather spend our money on something else, something more worthwhile".
I'm not saying wanting the things that I mentioned above is wrong. I'm just saying that our priorities are different. And because of that, we have managed to save up money to buy things that we think is important, like real-estate, or a plot of land where we can grow durians and mangosteens on, and now that we're expatriates, maybe even travel a bit. So, "When you have money to spend, spend it on something worth your while", coz the returns are much sweeter.

I don't think we're financially rich. I'd say the appropriate word would be financially 'comfortable'. Or maybe even financially 'secure'.
We don't have to worry that if one of us falls sick, we wouldn't be able to afford the medical bills. Or, Na'uzubillah, if one of us were to pass on, the one left behind would be left living in the streets.
I think this freedom has made us able to enjoy our lives better.
We're not at our target financial goal yet though.. even as I type this, Taufik is calculating how much more he has to save up before he can fully retire.
*rolls eyes*
Well I guess I have no choice but to just enjoy the lessons that I will soon learn ahead..
:)