Thursday, March 31, 2005

For Now

Mood: wooohoooooo Playing: Man of the Hour by Pearl Jam

Man of the hour is taking
his final bow
bye for now

I've had this song in my head for days. The guitar melody just sticks in your brain. I've been humming it around the house and found out it's pretty difficult to hum the low notes.
Anyways, this song is not so appropriate for this current situation, but the 'Bye for now' part is, so I'm just putting that song on for that part, not the 'final bow' part.(Insya-Allah)

I'll be going away on a trip tomorrow. We're all gonna go up north to Taufik's parents place.
As much as I hate to make Ilham cut class coz I'm afraid if he'll grow up thinking school is not that important, it's prolly the last time we'll be going home before the big move. After that it'll be awhile before we'll be going back again. I feel so guilty though. I'm actually making my kid cut class. I think I should write a letter to his teacher.

I was watching Oprah (as always) and heard something very interesting.
The American Psychiatric Association (or something) declared that 1 out of 25 americans have no conscience.
And thats not the interesting part. The psychiatrist on the show said that people are not born evil. Somehow sometime and somewhere in their lives, they just lost the ability to feel for another person. When parents don't show empathy to their children, Children learn that their feelings don't matter, therefore, other people's feelings dont matter.
Isnt that so sad???
But there's hope.
He talked about a guy who said that the only thing that stopped him from killing other people was his 3rd Grade teacher's voice telling him that "I see that there is a good person inside you, underneath it all". That statement stuck in his mind.
And there I was, thinking about the stuff I've screamed at my kids.. nothing degrading, I've always made sure of that.. but then.. a child's psyche is so fragile. Man. I better be more careful eh? I don't want to have to see one of them end up being a sociopath or something.

I remember the most hurtful thing anyone has ever said to me. He was a teacher at this english course we had to attend after our SPM. He was saying something about being an imbecile. And stupid me asked, "What's an Imbecile?" and he said, "Exactly". And just by the tone of his voice, I knew what the word meant, and I was *so* hurt. Actually, it still hurts.
Anyways, whenever that memory wafts in, I would think of one of the nicest things anyone ever said to me.
We were on a plane, on our flight to Los Angeles. I seldom talked to this guy coz I find his probing eyes and questions unnerving. And he said to me, "Joe, you know what, you have a liquid brain". I took it as a compliment and still does.

So, while I'm away, do tell me:
1. What is one of the most hurtful things anyone ever said to you?
2. What is one of the nicest things anyone ever said to you?

I'll be looking forward to reading it when I get back.

Bye. For Now...

Blog Comments

Posted by:ondeonde
Date: 03/31/05 at 7:30 AM (3d22h ago)
when is the big move for all of you?
have a safe journey.
hopefully, it's not the case for us (referring to the psychiatrist's statement), if we have a more meaningful purpose in life, such thing won't happen, insyaallah...

Posted by:famygirl
Date: 03/31/05 at 9:14 AM (3d20h ago)
so this means we're not meeting for lunch this friday?
have a safe and fun trip :)

1. many people have said many hurtful things and i try not to think of or remember any of them.
2. many nice things too, at the moment i can only think of the first time my daughter whispered "I Love You, Ibu" in my ear before she fell asleep.

Posted by: Papercup
Date: 03/31/05 at 9:33 AM (3d20h ago)
No 1: "I don't really want anyone to see me walking with you"
No 2: "You don't really have to worry about how you look, or what people think about you, because you already know all those people who care"

Quote No 2 was from my mom. I'm pretty sure your kids will quote some good stuff from you too one day. Have a nice journey.

Posted by:LoLlieS
Date: 03/31/05 at 9:33 AM (3d20h ago)
I can't think any bad at the mo..but I said pretty bad things to people that I really really regret. I am learning to tone down.

Posted by:sevenwaysfromsaved
Date: 03/31/05 at 11:41 AM (3d18h ago)
1."I'd like to go out with you, just not now." (Maybe that just hurts from an ex?)
2."You're a good person". That was just nice, because I have a hard time convincing myself that I'm a person most days....

Hmm those both came from the same source.

Posted by:+pizzofmine
Date: 03/31/05 at 12:34 PM (3d17h ago)
gee I can't remember both because I don't act according/based on what people say about me bad or good words... for they are just... words so I tend to forget it.

This Space just got haunted 3:)~>

Posted by: spasti (View Website)
Date: 03/31/05 at 7:18 PM (3d10h ago)
the good:"ok ok boleh!" said my father with his signature belly laugh when MM asked for my hand

the bad:"if u buy fr internet cheaper, u go n buy there.i cannot sell to u.why you low class ahh?"said the notorious shopkeeper at simlim(imbi plaza equivalent)

the ugly: "it's normal, it's a guy thing." justifying porn.

Posted by:zan
Date: 04/01/05 at 1:26 AM (3d4h ago)
there were many bad ones but i do not want to remember them although it hurts me the good ones, they are just too many and i cherish them if they come from the ppl i love :))

Posted by: amysin
Date: 04/01/05 at 5:26 AM (3d28m ago)
Superb observation, kids are very fragile emotionally. I have not fully recovered from all the hurts in childhood tho I have passed 30. It was Mom who tormented me coz I cannot measure up to her expectations mostly in the domestic department. I was 13 at that time, the most hurtful thing was when she said, Harap muka aje cantik tapi...MALAS....

I was SO sad, it took a split second for me to realize that it was also one of the rare compliments she gave me. I was secretly delighted that she thought that I was pretty!

I am careful now, not to utter bad things to my children.

Posted by: karinraz (View Website)
Date: 04/01/05 at 6:22 AM (2d23h ago)
1) worst: \\\"Her dying wish is not full-filled because of you.\\\"

2) best: \\\"If I ever have a daughter, I hope she turns out like you.\\\"

Posted by:gartblue
Date: 04/02/05 at 3:50 AM (2d2h ago)
1) worst - "You're blunt !"
2) best - "You're blunt !"

BTW, have fun and drive carefully .. looking forward when you get back ..

Posted by:boredom
Date: 04/03/05 at 5:14 PM (12h40m ago)
i made this (http://boredom.modbl...gview&blog_id=536121) after reading this entry.

yeah, u should write a letter to ilham's teacher. then ilham will learn that he'll always need a reason if he wants to skip school. heh.

* MusH is MessY bUt HaPPy *

a vital problem for the moralist, since half of the sins of mankind are caused by the fear of it.
Bertrand Russell, the Conquest of Happiness

Posted by:ondeonde
Date: 04/04/05 at 5:38 AM (16m26s ago)
hurtful things that ppl said to me - I chose to forget about it.
nicest thing - when my kids and their father say they love me..

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