Long Way Home

If you've been reading me before (or if you just browse through my archives), you'll notice that I have been talking about going back home for good for a long time. When I mentioned our intention 2 years ago, our time in Saudi was extended by PokCik Smith. Then we were told we were moving to Oman. While preparing to move to Oman, PokCik Smith then told us we were moving to Dubai instead. Here we still are, one year later.
Suffice to say that I've been telling people I am going home so many times, but never get around to it, that it's getting kinda embarrassing. I have almost come to the point of not telling people about my 'schedule' anymore. So you are forgiven if you think, "Yeah , right... she's never going home" when I tell you this time that I will be going home this July.
This time we are sure, because this time, we are in control. Come July, Taufik will quit PokCik Smith (Insya-Allah), and we will be able to go wherever we want to go, and it will definitely back home to Malaysia (again, Insya-Allah).

The prospect of retiring at the age of 40 can be quite scary, especially with 4 school-going children, but we've been planning this for almost 20 years, I think we'll be okay, Insya-Allah. We have been saving up ever since we started working, and Alhamdulillah, we now think we have enough for the children's education, for emergencies (Na'udzubillah) and for living out a simple lifestyle for the rest of our lives.
The life that we are looking to live for the rest of our lives is not the life of luxury. I am not eyeing fancy cars, designer clothes and to be draped in jewelery. We plan to live in Kedah, where the low cost of living there would probably stretch out our savings further compared to if we were to live in a big city place like KL or PJ.
To sustain ourselves financially, we have a small fruit orchard and Taufik had also acquired some palm oil land. We will do our best to maintain these two small pieces of land and pray to Allah to bless our land so that we can reap what we sow ourself into the earth.
I'm gonna be a farmer, y'all.
Perhaps you would see me at my stall by the PLUS highway one day, selling my durians and rambutans and manggis :) (While facebook-ing, of course).

Am I looking forward to this change in lifestyle? I have been asking myself the same question, and you know what, I actually am.
I wasn't really looking forward going back to KL, because compared to Al-Khobar and Dubai, our capital is actually quite a scary place to live and raise a family in. I get stressed out just thinking about the traffic, the potential of being road-bullied, or the possibility of my house getting broken into. I am sure it's not really *that* bad, since I've lived most of my life in PJ and Alhamdulillah nothing untoward has ever happened to me, but I still find it kinda tiring to always be on-guard, after 6 years of not worrying about it.
So moving to the less metropolitan and more laidback state of Kedah is definitely more appealing to me.
I long for those days when an afternoon walk does not involve dodging traffic or dogs and you'd encounter a huge patch of nature in five minute's time. Taufik longs to be able to just go fishing whenever he wishes. He also longs to teach the children how to live a simple life, be self-sufficient, not be too dependent or distracted by technology. We long to teach our children to appreciate whatever they have, no matter how little and we found that to be very difficult in the current environment where so much is available.
I know we would probably get a few (a lot) of protests from the kids at first, but I am sure after a while they'd get used to it. Well, they better get use to it, coz they would have no choice.

The one thing that worries me the most is the children's education.
After being exposed to such an independent style of learning, would they be able to cope with the regimented Malaysian school environment? Will they lose out in the future because of the drastic school change?
My worries, however, are alleviated by looking at the children of other friends who have moved back to Malaysia. Alhamdulillah, they seem to be doing well. I think it all boils down to parent's attitude. We have to know when to push our children and how much. We are the ones who have to make sure that they turn out to be a well-rounded person who are comfortable and confident with their own selves, and not always comparing them with other children.
Insya-Allah I will try to do that. I will try to stay calm and not freak out too much when it comes to exams. ;)

Well, that is our plan. Only Allah is the disposer, so we will pray that our plan comes to fruition, and be accepting of whatever He decides is best for us.