Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Self-ness

What is it about women that makes them always think about everybody else first then only themselves? Men has no trouble putting themselves first, it's almost an instinct.

Take this argument I had with Taufik last night:
I have been discovering that he gets up and goes to sleep with the kids almost every night in the past few days. When I asked him why before, he said our room was too warm and the kids' room was cooler (which is true.. our airconditioning distribution is a bit wonky). But last night he told me that I snored too loud, so he had to get away to get some sleep.

Okay, I admit that I snore. Especially when I have a stuffed nose and is forced to breathe through my mouth. Sometimes the snore is so loud, it penetrates my dreams. Sometimes it even blocks my breathing that I wake up because I was suffocating.
BUT.
Taufik snores too. (In fact, i think it's a genetic trait, because everyone in this house, including Izani, snores!). His snores are probably as bad as mine, because there were times when I would wake up just to adjust his head and pillow so that his breathing is not obstructed. Or I would try to turn his body sideways so that he could breath easier.

But that is the extent of how I would handle his snore. It never crossed my mind to leave the room to get a better sleep, no matter how sleepless or groggy I felt in the next morning. Maybe because I thought it would hurt his feelings if I did, just like it would hurt mine.

He didnt even need to think twice about sleeping in another room though. To him, he comes first. He needs his sleep, and that's the bottom line.

He comes first.

Now why is it that I can't bring myself do that?
Is it some internal wiring or what? Can I re-wire myself, and if I did, would it make me a better person?

16 comments:

  1. yes, you are so right... we women (at least I am)almost instinctively think about others first befor ourselves.
    i want to go to my swimming class after work, but feel sorry for the kids and dear hubby at home. maybe waiting for me. every time they are just fine actually. but strangely i'll feel the same all over again the next day...camne tu. even though i know i need some time for myself...

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  2. hahaha a funny one but true... agree with you 100%

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  3. (on normal situations... not sicknesses during pregnancy lah) what about the time kita demam/pening/ill and we're still expected to prepare food and do laundry and the normal house chores? kalau tak masak, walaupun simple-simple, anak2 tak makan le gamaknya... :P

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  4. lisa, my answer worth another entry! hahahahaha.....too many examples (along the same line of yours).

    ((((hugssssssss)))

    p/s: hope this hug makes you feel better! there are times when we just need is a hug.

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  5. *angguk angguk*
    betol3.

    but sometimes i put myself up first jgk.
    hehe.

    how bout..beli tht..apa ntah namanya tapi ada iklan kat tv, yg pakai kat idung for snoring prob tu.
    it works, kot
    try try.
    pastu tarik taufik masuk bilik. no more excuse. hehe

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  6. i've mentioned about my snoring too many times that it's in the danger of becoming a cliche.

    putting oneself first? i'd be one of those. like telling wifey "makan dululah!" before feeding the little ones ehehe. but still, i don't it's strictly men vs women but more about situations that we chose to be the sacrificial lambs. there are some things that men choose like err can't think of any now but i'll submit another one when i can think of any hehe.

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  7. men are .. practical, resourceful, and able to pick the time when emotion must be taken out of the decision-making..

    hehehe

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  8. hahahahah! You snore! ahahahahh!
    oh yeah must be genetic. Your brother snore too.

    does that mean your snoring is louder than your 4 kids combined?

    wow.

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  9. ok la ok la

    meh *hug*

    I strongly believed that we are designed that way. Put others first. Or else what will the world become?

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  10. Fran used to complain about my snoring too..but then I used this thing Papa bought called Breathe Right.

    Maybe you should go get some,
    then you guys won't need to have this argument no more.. :D

    And we girls have this thing called SENSITIVITY and CONSIDERATION.
    something I notice people with testosterone seem to lack.

    >.< Nasib kite la tu.

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  11. an honest entry this is..... salam perkenalan.... btw.... thats what makes us different from the male species.... sigh......

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  12. You snore Elisa? He he he. Actually I do agree with you...Jim pening kepala nothing gets done. Tapi bila I pening kepala, still have to cook dinner, kemas rumah etc....;-)

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  13. Elisa, so funny but it's so true but I think man have their ego about this matter;

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  14. always like that here ;)
    perhaps our hearts are as soft as jelly hehehe..
    theirs.. hmmm.. entahlah.. ;)

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  15. Salam, my first comment so far on your blog though i've been reading your blog for quite a while now.

    Biasalah men can be very blunt and sometimes they don't mean to do it intentionally.

    Usually when there's something I don't like, I make sure i have talk about it with my other half, After all he is my best friend.

    I hope you can try talking about it with your hubby and finding a solution for it.

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  16. i am actually physically having a headache while reading tis entry not that it has anything to do with what you wrote. But that I have been doing all kinds of tings today with the headache and currently Im telling myself nak kena siap dinner first before I can take a nap. So now I will go and take a nap and hopefully this throbbing in my head will go away. Kalau dorang lapar I think my husband can take care sikit. kah kah kah....thanks for the motivation to put myself first..if just for now.:) Oh...did u try any of the suggestions fr the snoring. If they work let me know...my husband snores too!

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